The Truth of Yesterday
Book 4 of the Killian Kendall Mysteries
By Josh Aterovis
Copyright 2026
Chapter 4
During the drive to school, I thought about Steve and the B&B. I knew he'd sunk a small fortune into buying and restoring the old house — a fortune he had partly inherited and partly saved from his successful business. Except for a small safety net he'd invested, nearly all his money had gone into the project. Not to mention the time involved. He was spending a lot of time at the B&B, and I wondered if Adam missed his partner. It had to be hard living in two different places. If there were guests, one of them always stayed at Amalie's House while the other stayed with me and Kane. Technically, we were old enough to take care of ourselves, but Adam liked to keep the family together as much as possible.
Business was still a little slow, so some nights, we were all together at the beach house. Kane occasionally stayed over at the inn on weekends so he could help out. If there were rooms available, I would spend the night now and then since it was closer to work and school.
Any further contemplation was cut short by my arrival at school. In my distracted state, I'd been driving on autopilot...and I must have been driving considerably over the speed limit since I was there way ahead of schedule. I was lucky no cops were out.
Although I was somewhat early, I decided to head on over to Wicomico Hall anyway. As I approached, I noticed several people standing and talking in the illumination of the old-fashioned light posts. One of them was Noah. When he looked over and caught my eye, he immediately broke into a smile. He said something to the guy he was chatting with and walked toward me.
"Hey, Killian. I didn't know if you'd come or not."
"I'm here." I had an amazing talent for stating the obvious.
"Well, good." To his credit, he said that without a trace of sarcasm or teasing. "Let me introduce you to some people." He led me back to the others gathered in the lamplight: two guys and a girl.
"Everybody, this is Killian." They all turned to face me wearing polite smiles. "This is Peter." He indicated the short, pudgy guy he'd been talking to when I'd arrived. Peter had straight, mousy-brown hair, almost no discernable lips, and dull, incurious brown eyes. "Peter is the co-president of Haven. The other co-president is Val. She'll be here eventually. She's always late."
Noah pointed to the second guy. "This is Raj, he's the secretary. That's Sujin." Raj and Sujin waved cheerily.
Raj was a tiny bundle of energy, small with a dark complexion, straight black hair, and huge, dark eyes. He was constantly in motion, hopping and bouncing from one foot to the other, dancing to music only he could hear.
Sujin was square and solid, with black hair cut bluntly just above her shoulders, and thick glasses.
Noah grabbed my elbow and pulled me toward the doors. "Come on. I'll show you where we meet. See you guys inside in a few minutes."
"I'm never going to remember all the names," I said as we entered the building.
"Don't worry about it. We'll probably do one of those lame introduction games tonight where everybody has to say their name, major, and what shampoo they use or something like that. Peter seems unusually fond of them." He shrugged. "I guess they serve their purpose. You know, I just realized that I assumed from your necklace that you were gay, but I should know better than that."
"Would I be here if I wasn't?"
He shrugged again. "Allies are welcome, too. We're a safe space. But you are queer?"
"Yeah. I am."
"And does the necklace mean that you're out?"
"Pretty much. I mean, my family and friends all know. I don't make any effort to hide it. I came out in high school. I had a boyfriend, and literally everyone in the school knew we were a couple after my ex announced it at an assembly."
He stopped in his tracks. "You're kidding!"
I laughed. "Nope. I swear."
"Man, that's cool. I was out in high school too, but not on that level. I just told some friends and left it at that. So you mentioned your ex. Are you seeing anyone now?"
I glanced over and noticed him look at me from the corner of his eye. Was his interest merely polite conversation, or was there something more behind it? I decided that clearing the air up front might save us both trouble.
"Yeah, I have a boyfriend."
"That's cool." His tone was casual, but I thought I saw a flash of disappointment. "Does he go to Pemberton?"
"No, he's a reporter for The Times."
"Oh damn, you got a sugar daddy!"
I laughed. "No, nothing like that. He's just starting out."
While we were talking, he'd led me down the hall and into a rec room complete with pool tables, table tennis, a couple of arcade games, and other distractions. At the back of the room, there was a glass partition that sectioned off a lounge area with tables, couches, and chairs. A TV hung on one wall. Two girls shared one of the sofas, a slim black guy lay sprawled on the floor, and a burly white guy slouched in a chair.
"This is where we meet," Noah said, swinging open the door.
The conversations broke off as we entered. "Hey, Noah," the burly guy called, echoed by the others.
"Hey, guys, this is Killian," Noah said. "That's Olivia and Felicia on the couch, Anthony on the floor, and Everett in the chair."
I wasn't sure which of the girls was Olivia and which was Felicia, but they were similar enough in appearance that I doubted I could have told them apart anyway. They both had short, dark-brown hair, brown eyes, and not a hint of makeup. They both wore glasses and shapeless, baggy sweatshirts over faded jeans. They almost looked like twins, but something about the way they were sitting made me think they might be dating.
Anthony waved. "You can call me Tony." He had the thin, lithe body of a dancer and sharp, chiseled features — like a statue that had just stepped off its pedestal. I waved back.
"Ooh, fresh meat!" Everett's smile let me know he was only joking. The way he dwarfed his chair, it was easy to see that he was a giant, but a gentle one if my initial impressions were accurate — and they usually were. He had curly, reddish-brown hair with a matching beard and greenish-blue eyes.
Noah waved a finger in the big guy's direction. "Careful, Ev. He's taken."
"Figures. All the cute ones are either taken or straight."
"Hey, then what does that make me?" Tony shot back.
"A single queer thot."
They both laughed as Noah and I took our seats on one of the other couches, me in the center and Noah by my side.
Another group of students made their way across the rec room in our direction, the ones I'd met outside plus several additions. As more and more people arrived, the names were no longer getting connected to faces. A few I recognized from my classes, but I didn't know any of them by name. I was actually kind of surprised to learn they were queer, but then I remembered that just because they came to these meetings didn't necessarily mean anything.
Peter called the meeting to order, and, as predicted, started one of those annoying games in which everyone had to announce their name, major, preferred pronouns and favorite animated movie.
Peter was just about to start the meeting when a striking Latine girl rushed in. She was petite but curvy, with long, glossy waves of black hair, wide brown eyes framed by thick lashes, and full red lips that looked like they belonged in a makeup ad. A snug sweater and even tighter jeans hugged her figure, and a black leather backpack hung off one shoulder as she caught her breath and scanned the room.
"And Valora makes her grand entrance, as always," Raj said under his breath while writing something in the notebook on his lap. If he hadn't been sitting on the other side of me, I probably wouldn't have heard him.
"Sorry I'm late," she said in a lightly accented voice.
"It's okay, Val," Peter said with a grin. "It's not like it's unusual. We were just getting ready to start."
"Cool, then I didn't miss anything?" She settled gracefully into a spot on the floor next to Tony.
"Well, you missed the introductions."
Val blinked in surprise for a second. "If we're having introductions, does that mean we have someone new?" She scanned the group — now about twenty-five strong — and quickly picked me out. "Aha, I haven't seen you before, have I?"
I smiled. She was the kind of person I liked immediately. "Probably not. My name's Killian. This is my first time here."
She giggled. "You make it sound like an AA meeting. Hi, my name is Valora and I'm a lesbian." She giggled again. "I'm only teasing. Don't turn all red on me. You can call me Val."
"Val is our co-president," Noah reminded me.
"Can I move on now?" Peter asked impatiently.
Val arched an eyebrow and leveled an icy glare in his direction that didn't seem to faze him in the least. I decided Val was the people person, while Peter was the administrator. They probably made a good pair.
"God forbid we should get off schedule. Yes, you may get on with your agenda now," Val said.
Peter stuck his tongue out at her, and she reciprocated, then they both broke into wide grins.
"They're always like this," Noah whispered.
I tried not to shiver as his breath tickled my ear.
The meeting itself was rather unremarkable. I was a little lost for most of it, as they were mainly discussing the success of their LGBTQ History Month celebration. They also talked about plans they already had in the works, including a Halloween costume dance that didn't appeal to me at all. I still had unpleasant memories of the last one I'd attended a few years before.
The official meeting ended promptly at nine, but most people hung around and chatted in small groups. Noah invited me to stay too, and since I figured it was a good way to get to know people, I did. I ended up surrounded by Noah, Val, Peter, Tony, and Everett. Val had moved to the couch next to me in the spot vacated by Raj. They all seemed very interested in the new guy.
"Well, what did you think of your first meeting?" Val asked me.
I shrugged. "It was okay."
"Only okay?" Noah sounded disappointed.
"Well, I didn't really know what you were talking about most of the time. It'll be better once I get more involved."
"Then you'll probably be back?" I thought I detected a note of hope in his voice.
"Probably."
"Can I ask a personal question?" Val said.
"Would saying no even slow you down?" Peter teased.
"Nope," she shot back with a grin. "So, are you Noah's new boy toy?"
Noah quickly jumped in before I could answer. "He's dating someone, Val."
"Yeah, I met Noah at the bookstore earlier this week. He saw my pride necklace and invited me."
"The campus bookstore?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"You go to Stinky?" she asked with surprise in her voice. Stinky was the affectionate nickname given to Pemberton University due to its initials.
"Yeah, I'm a freshman."
"Damn, I'm sorry. I thought you were like sixteen and Noah was robbing the cradle."
I laughed. I was used to being mistaken for a lot younger than I was. Sixteen was actually an old estimate for me. Maybe my looks were finally starting to mature. "No, I'm eighteen."
"Still a baby," she said.
"How old are you?"
"Twenty-one."
"And you?" I asked Noah.
"Twenty."
I looked to Peter.
"Twenty-one," he said.
"Nineteen," Everett volunteered.
"Twenty," Tony called from the floor, where he was now doing some sort of stretching exercise.
"Oh, I guess I am the baby of the group, then," I said.
"Just those of us here now," Peter said. "I doubt you're the youngest in the whole group. I know there are other freshmen."
"Besides," Everett said, "you're probably more mature than most of us anyway."
"Speak for yourself," Val shot back quickly.
I grinned. "I have a question. How many of the people who attend the meetings are queer?"
"Most of us," Noah said. "There are maybe three or four straight girls and a couple of straight identifying trans folk, but everybody else is at least bi."
"Most straight people, especially guys, are too scared to come because they're afraid their friends are going to think they're gay too," Peter said.
"And we all know how horrible that would be," Val said sarcastically.
"But that's one of our goals," Noah went on. "We're trying to change the way people look at being queer so it's not such a negative thing."
Val grimaced. "It's slow progress."
"But at least it is progress," Everett said. "Almost everybody knows I'm gay, and the vast majority just don't give a shit."
"That's because you're a big ol' white boy." Tony unwound his body from the pretzel in which he'd twisted himself. "They're afraid you'll bash their skulls in if they say anything." Everett opened his mouth to protest, but Tony wasn't finished. "Not that you would, and I'm not saying that everybody has a problem with it secretly, but there's definitely still a lot of prejudice and bigotry on this campus. Try being gay and black. That's two strikes against you."
"The Latin community is probably even worse," Val said. "Machismo is a real problem. I grew up in a mostly Puerto Rican neighborhood in Baltimore. I've seen plenty of guys get the shit kicked out of them just cuz they weren't macho enough. They get called names like maricón and pato, and most of the time they aren't even gay. Imagine how the poor guys who really are gay feel. They gotta hide it or get out of there. I never let anyone know I liked girls until I was in college — not even my best friend. I dated guys all through school and just pretended I didn't put out cuz I was a really good little Catholic." She shrugged. "I'm probably going to hell now. Think I need to confess?"
"Nah, you're too far gone for help now," Peter said.
"What about you, Petey?" Val asked him. "You have any problems with people knowing you're gay?"
"Outside of my family, you mean? Not really. I'm too boring for the straights and too ugly for the gays. Nobody cares which way I swing," Peter answered.
"Oh, stop with the pity party," she said. "What problems did you have with your family?"
"Just the usual. Mom flipped out, Dad disowned me, and my brother acts like he'll catch AIDS if he gets too close to me."
"That's the usual?" Noah asked. "Then I'm glad I'm unusual. My parents were a little shaken at first, but they educated themselves, and they're okay with it now."
Peter sighed. "I guess your experience is more the norm, really. And to be fair, my parents are better now. They've had a few years to deal with it, but it was ugly at first."
"My mom still doesn't know," Tony said.
"My dad doesn't, but I think my mom knows," Val said. "At least she's stopped asking me if I'm dating any nice boys at college."
"I'm another one of the lucky ones, I guess," Everett said. "My whole family had no problem with it at all, but then we're a pretty liberal bunch, and they'd assumed I was gay since I was a little kid. What about you, Killian?"
“My family?” I shrugged. “Well, my biological dad didn’t take it so well — beat me up and kicked me out. That was right after a close gay friend of mine was murdered and I was stabbed in the same attack.”
The stunned looks around the room almost made me laugh.
“Yeah, rough week. Anyway, my murdered friend’s dad took me in, and I’ve been living with him and his partner ever since. My mom divorced my dad and moved to Pennsylvania, but she's very supportive.”
Noah's jaw was somewhere around his knees. "Wow!"
"Yeah," Val said. "I think you win the hard-knock-life award."
"Hands down," Tony seconded, while Peter and Everett nodded.
I laughed. "I didn't know it was a competition."
"You're right, it's not," Noah said. "But did you notice the common denominator in every one of these instances of homophobia?"
"Religion?" Everett guessed.
Peter shook his head. "My family isn't religious at all."
"Toxic masculinity?" Val suggested.
"Closer," Noah said. "But I think it all comes down to misogyny."
"Down with the patriarchy!" Val yelled, fist pumped in the air.
"This conversation could get deep and go all night, but it's getting late and I still have work to do," Peter said.
Everett sighed. "Me too. I was just putting it off as long as possible."
"You know," Val said thoughtfully, "I'm really glad you came along tonight, Killian."
I blinked in surprise. "You are? Why?"
"Because I've known some of these guys for several years and this was the first time we've ever sat down and talked about our lives like that."
I shrugged. "It had nothing to do with me."
"Sure it did," Noah said. "If you hadn't been here we wouldn't have gone off on that tangent. See? You're already making positive changes in the group. Now you have to come back."
I laughed. "Fine. As long as nothing else comes up at work, I'll be back."
"Where do you work?" Noah asked, as everyone stood up and started gathering whatever things they had brought.
"Uh, well, actually I'm a private investigator."
That time I had to laugh at the way everyone froze in place and turned to look at me in shock.
"For real?" Tony's eyes were wide.
"Yeah, for real."
"Whoa. You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Everett said.
Val chuckled. "Well, we hope to see you next week, Mr. PI."
The group quickly scattered in different directions, leaving me alone once again with Noah.
"Walk you to your car?" he asked.
I shrugged. "If you want. You don't have to."
"I want to."
We left the building making small talk. Once we reached my car, I could tell he had something to say. "Spit it out."
"Huh?"
"Whatever it is you want to say."
"Oh. Am I that obvious?"
"Yup."
He took a deep breath. "So, uh, how seriously are you dating this guy? Do you go out with other people? Like are you guys open?"
"No, we're seeing each other exclusively." I felt a little bad shooting him down, but he seemed to expect my response.
"And I can tell you're not the type to cheat, so let me just say that, if anything ever happens and you break up with him, give me a call, okay? In the meantime, friends?" He held out his hand.
I smiled. "Friends."
We shook on it.
He held on a little longer than necessary, then slowly backed off a few steps before turning and jogging away.
I watched him go before climbing into my car.
I called Mrs. Knox the next day between classes and learned that she knew all about the business trip. She confirmed that she wanted me to follow him. An all-expense-paid trip to D.C. sounded great to me, especially since it was only a three-hour drive.
After classes were over for the day, I went to the office to talk to Novak. I found him working at his desk. He stopped when I stuck my head in.
"What's up, kiddo?" he asked.
"There's a new development in the Knox case," I said, still in the doorway.
"Sit down and fill me in." He closed his laptop and indicated my usual spot.
Novak's office was a comfortably eclectic space. The first things you noticed were the mismatched bookcases taking up one whole wall. All different heights and woods, they were filled to overflowing with books. There were law books, old phone books, atlases, maps, and a set of encyclopedias that was easily older than I was. One case was reserved for his collection of detective novels, many of which were signed and/or first editions.
In the center of the room sat his desk, a huge expanse of scarred golden oak. I always figured the office must have been built around it, since there was no way that mother could have fit through the door. Its top was usually completely clear, unless he's working on a case. Then it was apt to be quite cluttered with files, papers, photos, and more. At the moment, it only held a file and his laptop.
Behind the oak behemoth stood a daunting procession of battleship-gray filing cabinets, each one meticulously labeled and locked. Two large leather armchairs faced his desk.
For the most part, I liked the room. There was one exception, however: the odd, ugly, humpbacked sofa he kept on the wall opposite the bookcases and under the room's lone window. I know furniture is incapable of harboring ill will, but I swear that sofa is evil. It seemed to crouch malevolently off to one side, its carved claw feet gripping the floor for traction, waiting for some poor, unsuspecting soul to make the fatal mistake of sitting on it. Then, moving with a swiftness that belied its ungainly size, it would devour the hapless victim whole, before perhaps spitting out a shoe.
I moved quickly toward an armchair while carefully avoiding looking at the sofa. Luckily, I reached my chair unmolested.
I quickly filled Novak in on Knox's business trip, what Sharla had told me, and how Mrs. Knox wanted me to follow him.
"Will it interfere with your school work?"
"No, Knox doesn't check in until late afternoon and he has a morning meeting scheduled. It won't leave him much time to get there with traffic. I only have morning classes on Fridays, so I should have no trouble driving up there before he arrives."
"Have you been to D.C. much?"
"Not really."
"Damn. I have too much on my plate or I'd go with you. Do you know anyone who's familiar with the city?"
"Micah used to live there."
"Do you think he'd be willing to go along with you? We can hire him as a consultant if we need to."
I smiled. "I bet he'll be willing to go without the monetary incentive."
Novak chuckled. "I'd imagine you're right, there. Ask him, and let me know what he says. If he can't go, I don't want you going. You don't know the city well enough to be running around on your own."
As much as I liked the idea of having Micah along, I felt I had to defend myself. "I don't need a babysitter."
“I didn’t say you did. I just think it helps to have a guide who knows the city. That is, if you think you can handle working with your boyfriend around without getting too, shall we say...distracted.”
I blushed. Novak didn't have any problems with my being gay — in fact, he'd told me that his grandson was gay — but it still seemed odd to hear him make comments like that.
"I think I'm professional enough to not get too distracted."
Novak let out a guffaw. "Kid, you wouldn't be the first person to get distracted by sex. Tell you what, though, you do your job well enough, and maybe we'll work something out so you have some free time. Deal?"
"Deal," I said, my face burning.
Later that night after dinner, I called Micah and asked him to come over. I was bursting to talk to him about going to D.C. with me.
"What was so important that I had to drop everything and rush over here?" he asked when we were alone in my bedroom. "It sounded like you had something to tell me. Or maybe you just wanted to see me."
He pulled me in for a long, sensual kiss, and I almost forgot why I'd asked him over.
"Keep doing that and I'm going to lose the ability to think, let alone speak."
Micah chuckled and gave me one more kiss. "Well, we can't have that. So what's up?"
I quickly filled him in on Knox's upcoming business trip. "So anyway," I wrapped up, "Mrs. Knox wants me to follow him up to D.C., but Novak doesn't want me going alone, so...I was hoping you could come with me."
Visibly tensing, Micah sat up and shook his head. "Uh, no. I don't think I can do that."
I frowned. "Are you busy?"
"No. I just don't think it would be a good idea."
"But...why not?"
"I just don't." He seemed extremely uncomfortable.
"I don't understand. Look, it was Novak's idea. He said if I didn't have a guide with me, somebody who knows the city, then I can't go."
"I'm sorry, Killian. Can't you find someone else?"
"Like who? I don't know anybody in D.C. I don't get it. I thought you'd jump at the chance to spend a few nights alone with me in a hotel. You don't want to go with me?"
"Of course I do...if it was anywhere else..."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
He took a deep breath. "Look, you know how I lived there the whole time I was in college..."
"Yeah, that's exactly why I asked you, because you've lived there."
"Well, I'm not in any rush to go back. Not all of my memories from that time are good ones. In fact, I have some pretty unhappy associations with D.C. If you were going anywhere else, I'd be thrilled that you'd asked me."
"What kind of unhappy associations?" My curiosity was suddenly piqued. I could actually see him close off before my eyes. "Okay, I can see you don't want to talk about this, so I'll withdraw the question and save you the trouble."
"This isn't a courtroom, Killian, and you're not a lawyer," Micah said quietly. "You can't withdraw a question and expect it to be stricken from the record. You're right, though. I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I promise I'll tell you sometime, just...not right now."
"Skeletons in the closet," I whispered, remembering a conversation we'd had when we first started dating.
"What?"
I shook my head. "Never mind."
He sighed. "How about this? I'll think about it."
I shrugged. "That's better than a flat no."
"Yeah. I'm not trying to be a dick. I just wasn't expecting you to ask me to go with you. It brought back a lot of memories. I'm sorry."
I gave him a half-smile. "I'm sorry too. You'll tell me when you're ready. Or I'm ready, whichever it is. Don't worry about it. I'll live."
He wrapped me in a tight hug. "I love you, Killian. Don't ever doubt that."
"I love you too."
He moved toward me until he was standing so close I could feel his body heat — almost touching, but not quite. I slid my arms around his waist and pulled him against me, my lips finding his. After we kissed for a minute, he backed gently away.
"I should probably go."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I have a lot to think about. You don't have to walk me down. I can let myself out."
He gave me one last quick kiss before heading out, leaving me alone in my room with my thoughts.
About an hour later, I went downstairs to get a drink of water when I heard the low rumble of male voices coming from the den. I stopped in my tracks when I recognized Micah's. I thought he'd left.
Micah, Adam, and Steve all glanced up and smiled when I appeared in the doorway. At least they didn't seem surprised or uncomfortable to find me standing there, as I imagined they would be if they'd been talking about me.
"We were just talking about you," Steve said.
Oh.
"Is that good or bad?"
"Mostly good." Micah gave me a grin and a wink while patting a spot next to him on the sofa.
I settled at his side, then looked from my boyfriend to Steve to Adam.
"Were you here the whole time?" I asked Micah.
"Yeah. I stuck my head in to say bye, and we started talking."
"So, uh, what all did you talk about?"
"You want him to recap an hour of conversation?" Adam teased.
I shrugged, though I couldn’t shake the feeling there was more beneath the surface, something left unsaid.
"Well, the short version is that I've decided to go with you to D.C."
I practically bounced off the couch. "Really?"
"Really."
"Oh, my gosh! That's great! Oh, thank you so much."
"Thank Adam and Steve. They're the ones who helped me decide."
I calmed down as I remembered what Micah had said about the city holding some bad associations. "Are you sure you're okay with going there?"
"I'll be fine. I want to help you. And I think it's time I faced some of my demons. It'll be easier with you by my side."
I grabbed Micah in a tight hug. "You're the best. I can't wait to tell Novak."
I was extremely excited. Not only was I getting ready to follow my first case on my own into the city, but this would also be Micah's and my first time away together. I knew it was for business, but I couldn't help being excited by the idea of spending a few days alone with my boyfriend. I had a feeling it would be a weekend to remember.
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