The Truth of Yesterday
Book 4 of the Killian Kendall Mysteries
By Josh Aterovis
Copyright 2026
Chapter 2
Micah didn't pick up when I called, so I left a message saying I was ready to talk. I thought about being somewhat more forthcoming, but then decided that news of the sort I had to share would be better delivered in person.
I hadn't heard from Micah by the time I went to bed.
The next morning, I'd tailed Mr. Knox, the allegedly unfaithful husband, to his job, checked in with my buddy at the receptionist desk, and finally went to the office to finish a little paperwork before my first class of the day.
Micah finally called as I was walking to my car to head to school. After all his talk about needing to know where I stood, he certainly seemed awfully nonchalant about getting my answer. Then again, maybe he was expecting the worst and was putting it off. I knew plenty about that.
"Hey," I answered. "Thanks for calling me back."
"Sorry it took so long. This story is moving fast. I was up late working on it, then up early this morning."
"I hope you're getting enough rest."
"I'll be fine. It's only temporary. You said you wanted to talk? Does that mean you've thought about what I said?"
"Yes. Can we meet to talk later today?"
"I should be able to get away this evening."
"That's fine. Want to come over to our place?"
"Yeah, I can do that. Do I get a hint, at least?"
I thought about letting him stew, but I just didn't have it in me to be that cruel. "I think you'll like what I have to say."
"I'll see you tonight," he said, relief clear in his voice.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. I barely paid attention in class, and I almost forgot to follow Mr. Knox back to his house. All I could think about was Micah. I was so excited to see him and tell him what I'd decided that I couldn't focus on anything else.
After I got home, I changed my clothes twice while waiting for him to show up. I finally settled on a dark-blue, form-fitting, long-sleeved shirt that I knew Micah loved because he said it brought out my eyes. I completed my outfit with a pair of jeans he always claimed made my butt look nice.
"You're acting like it's your first date," Kane commented, glancing up from his homework as I gave myself a last once-over in the mirror.
My honorary little brother was quite the expert on dating. He'd had more girlfriends at sixteen than most people had in their entire lives. He'd recently broken up with the girl he'd gone out with all summer, saying he had to keep his options open now that school was back in session. Attracting girls was not a problem for him. He had bright green eyes and shaggy reddish-blond hair that he wore in a disheveled fashion, which seemed to drive the girls wild.
"I'm as nervous as if it were," I said.
"Why be nervous? Anyone with half a brain can tell he's crazy about you."
"Is that how you were able to tell?"
Kane clutched his hands over his heart. "Oh, that hurt...right here."
Being the mature older brother I am, I stuck my tongue out at him and left to wait downstairs.
Of course, Micah chose to arrive the moment I had to use the bathroom. The doorbell rang, and seconds later I heard Kane clattering down the stairs.
"I'll get it," I yelled, knowing from experience that if Kane answered, it would only lead to embarrassment for all involved, but mostly for me.
"From the bathroom? Don't be stupid. I've got it."
I heard the door open and swore under my breath.
"Hey, Micah," Kane said. "Good thing you got here when you did or Killian would have tried on everything he owns."
"Argh!" I howled. I washed my hands and burst from the bathroom to find Micah standing on the front porch. He looked fantastic in a dark-gray sweater and black jeans.
"You could have at least invited him in," I said.
"Like you gave me time. Anyway, I'm going out. Tell Dad I'll be home by ten o'clock."
"Okay, be careful." For all our bickering, we were actually pretty close, and I often caught myself being protective of him.
He threw me a look and loped off toward the old truck Adam had bought to use at the B&B. He let Kane drive it when they didn't need it.
I turned back to Micah, who was still standing just outside the door.
"Um, come on in."
He stepped into the hall where we stood awkwardly for a few seconds, neither of us quite sure what to say.
"Do you want to go to my room so we can talk?" I finally asked.
"Sure."
He followed me upstairs and into the room Kane and I shared, where the uncomfortable silence returned.
"I thought about..." I started at the same time Micah began, "You said you wanted..."
I giggled, and Micah smiled. It was what we needed to break the tension.
I started again. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, and you were right — I have been keeping you at arm’s length. And yeah, I have my reasons. I’ve been hurt, betrayed by people I trusted, and I’ve lost more people than I care to count. But what you said about risk really stuck with me. And it made me realize…there’s something important I need to tell you.”
Michah's expression was unreadable.
I took a deep breath. "Micah, I love you."
I watched his face intently for a reaction. I saw something flash in his eyes, but I couldn't identify it before it was gone.
"What does that mean?" he asked guardedly.
Not the response I'd been hoping for. I took a second to gather my thoughts.
"It means I've decided the risk is worth the reward. I want to make this work. You'll probably have to help me sometimes, but I want to try."
"What about Asher?"
"What about him?"
"Do you think you're really over him?"
"If I'm being honest with myself — and you — maybe not completely. Not yet, anyway. Who knows? Maybe I never will be, but he's a part of my past now. I have to move on, and I'd like to do that with you. I do love you. I realized that last night. I was scared to death at the thought of losing you."
"That scared you more than the possibility of getting hurt?"
I nodded. "I was afraid to let you in because I was afraid I'd lose you and I'd just get hurt again. Then I realized I was going to lose you by not letting you in. That would have hurt just as much...because I'm already in love with you."
Finally, something truly changed in his eye, and I saw a vulnerability that hadn't been there before. "You are?"
I nodded and offered him a smile. "Yes, I am."
He drew in a shaky breath and slowly released it. "Good, because I didn't want to say this yesterday, but...I love you, too."
I threw myself into his arms, and we tumbled backwards onto the bed. I kissed him firmly on the lips, and without hesitation he started kissing me back. He rolled us over so he was on top. After a few minutes, he gently pulled away and lifted himself up onto his elbows so he could look me in the face.
"God, you're so beautiful, Killian. I could just stare at you all night. You know, this is exactly the way I hoped it would happen, but I was too afraid to believe it actually would."
"Oh, ye of little faith," I teased.
"It's not going to be an easy road, though. You know that, right?"
"I never thought it would be. You're going to have to be patient with me. I doubt I can drop all the walls at once. I might need your help."
"We'll work on it together. You know you're not the only one with walls though, right?"
"You too?"
He shifted his weight off me and onto the bed. I cuddled into his side, my head on his shoulder. His fingers played with my hair. I didn't think he was going to answer at first, but finally he took a deep breath.
"I think everybody has walls to some degree — if they've lived at all, anyway. Some are worse than others. From my experience, it seems gay guys have more walls than most. I guess we have to start building our defenses sooner than other people."
I twisted around so I could see his face better. "You've told me about being abused by your neighbor and how you reacted by having sex with a lot of people, but you've never mentioned falling in love. Am I the first person you've ever loved?"
Micah softly stroked the side of my face. "No, I fell in love once before, when I lived in D.C. We lived together for a while."
That was news to me. "Why'd you break up?"
"I moved here, he stayed there. Neither of us wanted to do the long-distance thing. We made a mutual decision to just call it quits. We both agreed we'd run our course and there was no sense in waiting to break up until things got ugly. At least that way we could stay friends."
"Did you?"
"For a while. Then the phone calls and emails got further and further apart. Eventually, we just stopped talking. About the same time I met you, actually."
"Do you still love him?"
"I'll always love him, but I'm not in love with him anymore."
"Are you over him?"
He thought for a moment. "Yes. I don't think I really was before I met you, but I know I am now. I never expected my relationship with him to be a forever thing."
"What about us? Are we a forever thing?"
He stared into my eyes for several seconds before answering. "I don't know. I guess that remains to be seen. Any other questions, sir?"
"What? You know everything about my past. I'm just trying to learn more about yours."
"You know everything that's important. You know I love you. You know I want to be with you. What more do you need?"
"Um, how about a written guarantee? Satisfaction or my money back."
He threw his head back and laughed. "I'll satisfy you, you little brat." He jumped up, straddled my waist, and began to tickle me.
I laughed, wiggled, and writhed under him as I gasped for breath. "Stop!" I finally managed to shout. "Stop! I'm gonna pee!"
He collapsed on top of me where we both panted and giggled.
"If anyone walked in right now they'd never believe you were only tickling me."
"Um, we're fully clothed. I realize you're a little inexperienced, but you do know you start by getting naked, right?"
I shoved him off and punched him in the arm. "Not funny."
He sat up and reached into his pocket. "I have something for you."
That caught my attention. "What is it?"
He pulled out a small, gray jewelry box.
"Oh, is that what I felt? You mean you weren't just happy to be lying on top of me?" I was joking but I didn't take my eyes off the box.
"Oh, I was quite happy to be there. I'm sure what you felt was the real thing. I bought this to give you no matter what you decided. If we broke up, it was something to remember me by. If we didn't, then...well, here."
I took the box gingerly and held it in my lap, half afraid to open it. "Always prepared. You'd make a good boy scout."
"Open it, please."
I looked down apprehensively at the box. What if it was a ring? I wasn't ready for that.
I tentatively pried open the lid and felt all my anxiety drain away. Nestled against the plush cream lining was a beautiful rainbow pendant on a delicate silver chain. The pendant was a small inverted, stained-glass triangle framed in silver.
"I went with silver because you don't seem like the gold type," Micah said softly. "It's a pride necklace."
"It's beautiful."
"I hope you like it. I've never seen you wear much jewelry, but I noticed it in the store and..."
"I love it." I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips.
"Want me to put it on you?"
"Please."
He took the box from my hands and freed the necklace. After fiddling with the clasp until it opened, he moved behind me on the bed and put the chain around my neck. The pendant lay perfectly in the hollow at the base of my throat.
"Stand up so I can see," he whispered in my ear.
With a little shiver, I did as he asked.
"You look incredible." He gave me a seductive smile.
I draped my arms around his shoulders. "So do you."
"It's a shame to waste all this sexy. What do you think about hitting the Inferno?"
The Inferno was a gay dance club located on a back road in the last place you'd expect to find a club of any sort, let alone a gay one. We'd been there a few times, and I'd been delighted to discover that I loved to dance. While I was technically underage, Micah knew the bouncer, a bulldog of a drag queen named Carmen, who allowed me entrance without too much trouble.
I jumped at the chance to go dancing. I texted Adam telling him where Kane and I were so he wouldn't worry, and we headed out.
If you didn't know what you were looking for, you'd never suspect the Inferno was anything other than a warehouse. From the outside, it was quite unremarkable: an unassuming, two-story brick building with no windows, and surrounded by a few scraggly pine trees and acres of fields. An inconspicuous sign above the large black metal door was the only indication you'd arrived at the right place. That and the gravel parking lot full of cars. It was a Friday night and the joint was jumping.
On one side of the door stood a tall, broad-shouldered, bald man who appeared to be looking for an excuse to bash in someone's face. I'd never heard him utter a word in all the times I'd been to the club. On the other side, under an overhang, was a podium with a high barstool behind it. On the stool sat Carmen.
No one who had ever met Carmen was likely to forget her. She was very large, for one thing, easily topping out at six foot six without her heels — which must have added at least another three or four inches — and built like a tank. Her square face would never be described as pretty, or even attractive. She compensated for her lack of looks with an abundance of makeup and hair big enough to have its own zip code.
That night, Carmen’s wild wig was a bold Pepto-Bismol pink, unapologetically bright and impossible to miss. Her silver-sequined mini dress clung a few sizes too tight and barely skirted the line of decency—but it showcased her legs to perfection. Her signature mirror-ball earrings swung with every dramatic turn of her head. I couldn’t see her shoes, but based on past visits, I was pretty sure I could use them as skis. The whole look was crowned with a pink feather boa, draped theatrically over her broad shoulders, tying the entire spectacle together.
While the Eastern Shore wasn't the most liberal part of the state — rednecks and country bumpkins abounded — no one ever feared any trouble with Carmen and her silent sidekick on duty. I'd heard she kept a large pistol somewhere on her person and she knew how to use it. I didn't doubt the rumors for a second, not that she'd ever need the weapon with Mr. Tall, Dark, and Ugly on the scene.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite boys," she said, waving a large, red lollipop around.
"You say that to all the boys," Micah replied with a grin as he handed her enough cash to pay our cover.
"You know it, honey. Micah, darling, are you still running around with this child?"
We went through some version of this shtick every time we came. It was our thing.
"He has a name, Carmen," Micah said with a wink.
Carmen snorted. "I know your name, don't I, Killian baby?"
She waved the lollipop under my nose. I noticed it was shaped like a penis and smelled like watermelon.
"Hi, Carmen."
"The infant speaks! He's a pretty one, Micah. I have to give you that. Just be sure you hide him if the big bad police ever raid us. You know they've started that shit up again in some places. We may have to start throwing bricks again."
"So I've heard, and I promise, Carmen." Micah held up three fingers. "Scout's honor."
She laughed heartily. "I was never a scout but I have a better idea of what you can do with those fingers, honey."
Micah just grinned and slipped an arm around my waist, guiding me into the Inferno, where the sound of Carmen's laughter was quickly drowned out by the cacophony of sound.
The club's name was quite fitting.
The noise may have been the first thing to hit you as you entered, but the heat was close behind. For some reason, it was always hot as Hades inside the building. I suspected it was meant to encourage guys to take their shirts off...as if they needed any encouragement.
Once our eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, a smorgasbord of sights and sounds awaited us. Multicolored strobes flashed, laser beams sliced through the haze like lightsabers, and fog machines created such a miasma we almost had to feel our way along the dance floor. A wall-to-wall mass of male bodies was gyrating, bumping, and grinding to the heavy beat of the dance music blasting from every angle. Sweat and glitter sparkling on the dancers' skin created a dizzying and mesmerizing effect.
The décor was simple: an industrial look with lots of concrete and shiny black metal. Chimney-like columns spaced at regular intervals around the room spouted flames — not real ones, but a gauzy material illuminated with red and orange lights from below and blown upward by fans. Spiral staircases led to a wide, metal-grid catwalk that went around the whole room and overlooked the dance floor. Tiny pedestal tables sat near the walls, each with four stools bolted down around it.
Even after coming here for months, I was still in awe of this place. Everywhere I looked there were guys kissing, touching, dancing, and laughing. Maybe it was just all the pheromones in the air, but it made me feel almost euphoric.
"Ready to dance?" Micah yelled into my ear, the only way I could possibly hear him over the din.
"Hell, yeah!"
A few hours later, we slipped out the door into the fresh, cool air. Although the party was still going strong inside, I was completely exhausted. Dancing is strenuous exercise.
"With all that heavy breathing you two should at least be naked," Carmen said lazily.
"Don't you ever want to be inside?" I think it was the first thing I'd ever said to her besides hello.
"In there? Are you kidding?" She snorted. "Honey, I'm way too old for all that foolishness. I'd throw out a hip or something. No, I'm content to just sit here and breathe in the ambiance of youth and beauty."
"Oh, come on." Micah scoffed. "We both know you could dance circles around most of those guys in there. You're healthy as a horse."
"And just as big." She produced a cigarette from her cleavage and lit up. "Now you boys run along. It must be past the little one's bedtime."
"Yes, mother." I shot her a grin and started for the car.
"Sassy little thing, isn't he?" Carmen yelled. "Keep an eye on that one, Micah. I like him."
Micah chuckled as he trotted to catch up to me. "Did you sneak one of my drinks again tonight? I've never seen you so playful with Carmen."
He was referring to the first time he'd brought me to the Inferno, when I'd been so nervous I'd fortified myself with his alcoholic beverage before hitting the dance floor.
"Nope, all I drank was the bottled water you got me. I just figured if she was going to dish it, she could take it. Hey, remember our first date when you promised me if I went out with you again you'd tell me who Carmen really was?"
"I did?"
"Yeah, you did."
"Well, I lied."
"No fair. You promised."
"You're the detective. You figure it out."
"I hate it when people tell me that."
I was at the office again the next day, plugging away at the stack of paperwork that kept building up on my desk, when Judy Cassara swept in as only she could. Judy was a slender, attractive woman with a deceptively ordinary appearance. She wore her straight, blonde hair cut off bluntly just above her shoulders and tucked behind her ears. She was wearing a worn pair of jeans and a faded T-shirt, looking as if she'd come from working in her garden — which she probably had. She took a great deal of deserved pride in the tiny, but exquisite, flower gardens she had created in just the few short months she and her nephew Jake had been living in their small house.
She was also a psychic.
"Hi, Judy," I said. "Novak is out on his case." She and Novak, a widower, had been dating for a few months, and she occasionally dropped in unexpectedly to see him.
"I know. Actually, I'm not here to see Shane. I'm here to see you."
"Me? Oh, did you find someone to teach me about my gifts?"
"Yes, you. And no, I'm sorry, Killian. I know I promised I would find someone, and I do have feelers out, but unfortunately, I've been distracted lately. That's actually why I'm here. I need to talk to you about Jake."
For a time, back before Asher and I had started dating, Jake and I had a brief but intense flirtation. I'd ended up with Asher, while Jake and I remained just friends. We were barely even that these days, though, so I couldn't imagine why Judy was there to see me about him. After his entire family had been killed, he'd gone to live in California with Judy. They'd only recently moved back to Maryland.
"What about Jake?"
"Well...hang on." She grabbed one of the chairs that sat against the wall and dragged it over to my desk. She settled into it and took a deep breath. "I'm worried about him. I think he may be doing drugs again."
"Oh, well, I really wouldn't know. We don't talk that much anymore."
"I didn't expect you to know. That's why I'm here. I want you to find out."
"Huh?"
"I want to hire you to find out what's going on in Jake's life."
"Hire me?"
"He won't talk to me. I've asked him, but he won't say a word. I know things have been hard for him since...well, you know, but we've always been able to talk — at least we could before we came back here. I'm beginning to think moving was a mistake."
"Wait a minute." I was still confused. "What about Novak? Why don't you just hire him?"
"I think that would make things just a little too awkward. I mean, I'm seeing Shane, and there's already enough tension between the two of them as it is. Shane thinks I let Jake get away with too much. He's eighteen, though, so I can't baby him anymore."
"But you can hire me to follow him around?"
"Oh, don't sound so judgmental, Killian. If he'd talk to me, I wouldn't have to do this. He's my responsibility now. I'm worried sick about him. I've been having...feelings. Premonitions. Whatever you want to call them."
"What kinds of feelings?"
"I'm afraid he's in danger. But I don't know what sort of danger and I need to find out. Please, will you do this for me? As a favor? Not that I won't pay you."
Judy was the one who first insisted I had gifts. While she didn't have a crystal ball or read palms — at least as far as I knew — she did occasionally get "feelings" about things, and she was almost always right. She also had premonitions sometimes: little glimpses of the future — rarely enough to actually be helpful, but creepy nonetheless. While I had no problem with Judy's gifts, I would have appreciated her keeping them to herself. I had some serious doubts when it came to my own.
I also had doubts about investigating Jake. "I don't know..."
"Please, Killian. It would mean a lot to me."
"I just don't feel comfortable following my friend around. I mean, I'm not even that good at this. I'm still learning."
"Shane says you're a natural, one of the best he's ever seen even without training. I know you can do this, and I know you'll do it well, because you care about Jake, too. If he's involved with drugs or something else illegal, his life could be in danger. If you refused to help me and something happened to him, how would you feel?"
Great. There was a guilt trip too. Could her visit get any better?
She was right, though. I knew if anything happened to Jake after I'd turned her down, I'd never forgive myself.
I sighed. "Okay, I'll do it."
"Thank you, Killian. But there's one more thing."
"What's that?"
"I want you to keep this quiet."
"Of course."
"I mean, from Shane."
"You don't want me to tell Novak?"
"No. Not yet. Let's see what's going on first."
"It's not good to keep things from the person you're dating."
Or from your boss, I thought, but didn't add. I didn't like the idea of trying to hide an investigation from Novak.
"Killian, darling, as much as I appreciate your concern, I don't need relationship advice. I mean that in the kindest possible way. I know you don't like keeping things from Shane, but you'll have to trust me that it's best for now."
"Fine."
At least I understood why she'd come in to talk to me while she knew Novak would be out.
"Please don't be upset with me. You'll understand later."
"Whatever. How do you want me to start? Stalk him?"
She sighed. "He gets out of school at two-thirty. I don't know where he goes afterwards. He doesn't come home some nights until eight or later. There've been a few nights he didn't come home at all. When I ask him where he was, he just tells me not to worry about it. If I get angry, he tells me to mind my own business. I grounded him, but it didn't faze him in the least."
"Can't you take his car away from him?"
"I could, but he'd just find another ride. At least this way I know he's doing the driving. If he is into drugs, I have to say I've never seen him high or out of control when he gets home."
"So what makes you think it's drugs? You said earlier that it could be something else illegal. Like what?"
"I don't even know. I simply had a feeling it involves drugs. I have no real evidence besides his erratic behavior, which could, I guess, be nothing more than typical teenage rebellion."
"Then what makes you think it's not just that? Is there anything besides coming home late?"
"He's been buying a lot of stuff recently, and I have no idea where he's getting the money from — certainly not from me."
"Stuff like what?"
"A new phone. Electronics. Clothes. I don't know what else. That's just what I've noticed."
"Is there anything more?"
"Just the gut feelings I mentioned. You know, I've come to trust my gifts, Killian. Speaking of which, have you thought any more about what we talked about concerning your gifts?"
"No. Back to Jake..."
"Killian, you know you really should learn more about your gifts. I think they're very strong."
"I'm not interested."
"But you have to be. They can be dangerous if left untrained, or they can be a marvelous tool if you know how to use them. You were given them for a reason, you know."
"You sound like Seth," I said crossly.
"Is he still coming to visit you?"
"I hadn't seen him for a few months, but he showed up the other night."
"Relationship problems?"
"Actually, yeah. But he also said I should deal with my gifts. As I told him, though, I'm doing just fine without them."
"For now, maybe..."
"Right now is all I'm worried about. Is there anything else I need to know about Jake?"
She gave me a disappointed look, but moved on. "You know what he drives, right?"
"A dark-blue Jeep?"
"Yes. That's all I can think of right now." She stood up and pushed the chair back to its original position. "You'll let me know as soon as you have something?"
I looked into her eyes and recognized the pain and fear that she was making an effort to hide.
I nodded. "Yeah, I'll keep you updated."
She bit her lip in a most un-Judy-like fashion. "Thank you."
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