A Change of Worlds

Book 5 of the Killian Kendall Mysteries

By Josh Aterovis
Copyright 2026

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Chapter 17

I paced nervously in the foyer of the bed and breakfast while I waited for Asher to arrive. He'd called soon after Jacy and I got back to the office and suggested I wear something nice. That was all he'd tell me. The rest, he said, was a surprise. I checked my watch for the fiftieth time to see that he still had five minutes before he'd be late. I sighed heavily.

"Stop pacing before you wear a hole through my Serapi."

I spun around to find Steve leaning against the doorframe, watching me with an amused expression. "Your what?"

"The rug. It's an antique, hand-knotted Persian. Give it a break."

I grinned sheepishly. "Sorry."

"What's going on anyway? You're more nervous than a fat turkey at Thanksgiving."

"Sorry," I repeated. "I'm going out with Asher again."

He gave me a skeptical look. "Again? And you're this worked up over it? Are you sure it's a good idea?"

I shrugged. "No, but I already agreed, so what can I do? Besides, this was all Micah's idea to begin with."

"Somehow, I don't think this is quite what he had in mind."

"Like I said, Asher's on his way. I agreed to go out with him again in one of those spur-of-the-moment decisions."

"When did this spur-of-the-moment decision take place?"

"Monday," I admitted, a blush rising to my cheeks.

Steve shook his head and started to say something just as someone knocked on the door.

I jumped and raced to open it. Asher stood there looking absolutely amazing. He wore black dress pants and a button-up shirt whose silver color matched his eyes flawlessly.

He gave me a brilliant smile. "Perfect," he whispered.

I glanced down at my outfit and tried not to blush. I was wearing a cobalt blue dress shirt and my best pair of dark jeans. I had dressed to impress. I was glad he appreciated my efforts, but was suddenly unsure if the jeans were suitable.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Where are we going? Am I dressed okay? Should I change my pants?"

"You look fantastic. Don't change anything. And I'm not telling you where we're going. You'll find out when we get there."

He was grinning ear to ear, and as much as I wanted to know our destination, I couldn't ruin his fun. I turned to say goodbye to Steve, but he was gone.

I followed Asher out to his car, where he made a big production of holding the passenger door open for me. I shook my head as I slid in, questioning once more if I was doing the right thing.

We drove into the city and parked near the plaza. Since there were several restaurants in the area, I still had no idea where we were going.

Asher refused to give me so much as a hint. He led the way down the street, his eyes sparkling mischievously and his grin never wavering. He finally stopped in front of Casa d'Italia, one of the nicest restaurants in town, and whipped open the door with a flourish.

"We're eating here?" I gasped.

"No," Asher responded dryly, "I just thought you'd like a tour. Yes, we're eating here."

I stepped inside, still in a state of shock. The restaurant was notorious for its high prices. I looked around in awe, never having even been inside before. The lobby alone fulfilled all my expectations. The décor was exquisite, with marble floor and mahogany wainscoting, everything polished until it gleamed.

Although the maitre d' met us with a rather phony if polite smile, his expression clearly suggested he felt we'd wandered into the wrong building.

"Benvenuti, signori," he greeted us. "How can I help you?"

"We have reservations," Asher informed him. "Davis, party of two."

The maitre d' looked down at the small, black leather book he carried. He seemed surprised when he found the reservation. "Of course. Follow me, per favore."

He led us through the dimly lit restaurant, where I couldn't help noticing that not only were we much younger than their average clientele, we were also the only ones not wearing jackets. I was definitely the only person wearing jeans. Since the maitre d' hadn't made an issue of that, I assumed there wasn't a strict dress code, but I still felt underdressed. No one seemed to pay us any mind, however, so I tried to relax and simply enjoy the experience.

The rest of the restaurant was just as impressive as the entrance. Candles flickered on the tables. Large, potted plants were strategically placed to give patrons privacy. A live singer crooned standards from a small stage at one end of the room, where a few couples swayed on the small, parquet dance floor in front of it.

Our table was tucked into a romantic alcove, providing us with a little extra privacy. We sat down, and the maitre d' informed us that our waiter would be with us shortly.

"I can't believe you made reservations here," I said as soon as we were alone.

Asher smiled. "I wanted tonight to be special. Who knows? This could be the last time I get to take you out. I wanted to do it right."

My breath caught in my throat. I didn't know what to say.

Luckily, a young guy showed up at the table just then to fill our water glasses. His arrival gave me time to think, and after he left I decided to change the subject.

"How's your summer going so far?"

He shrugged. "It's okay, I guess. I ended up working for Dad again, and I'm pretty much just working all the time. I'm not close to anyone down here anymore. That's probably been the strangest thing about coming home from college. I feel like I hardly know our old friends from high school. Not that I was really close to very many people by the end there. You and I spent so much time together, and then, after that, there was Caleb..." He trailed off and frowned, as if he wished he hadn't brought up Caleb. That made two of us. His bright smile returned quickly, however. "I wish I could see you more."

I squirmed awkwardly, and he took pity on me. "How's the case coming?"

"Good!" I jumped at the offered escape. I only hoped I didn't look as relieved as I felt. "I think I'm finally starting to get somewhere. I still don't have any clear suspects, but at least I have some leads to pursue."

"Good, I'm glad."

The arrival of our waiter spared us further awkward conversation. He handed us our menus and went over the specials, then left us alone to make our choices. I tried not to shriek when I saw the prices. Maybe I'd just get a salad.

As if he could read my mind, Asher spoke up. "Order whatever you want. I mean it, Killian. If you only get a salad, I'll ask for two of the most expensive things on the menu."

Laughing nervously, I took a closer look at the menu.

When the waiter returned, I ordered Chicken Marsala, and Asher ordered Chicken Oscar. Then Asher began to make small talk, telling me stories about his year away at college. His steady stream of chatter served its purpose, beginning to calm me down.

The food was excellent, and once I finally truly relaxed, our conversation flowed freely.

We'd just finished the meal when the singer began to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention for a moment?" I twisted around to get a better view of the stage. "I have a request from a young man, asking if I would sing something just for him and his someone special. This goes out to Asher and Killian."

My mouth dropped open. I turned to find Asher watching me closely, trying to gauge my reaction.

"You arranged this?"

He nodded, smiling nervously as the first notes began to play. When I recognized the song, I almost gasped. Although we'd never had an official song, "The Way You Look Tonight" was as close as we could get. It had a special meaning for us since I'd sung it for him once.

His smile grew more confident. "I told you I wanted tonight to be perfect."

I was speechless. I couldn't believe he'd gone to all this trouble just for me.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked me.

A barrage of questions hit me all at once. How would Micah feel about my dancing with Asher? We'd danced at the club, but not really together. What would the other patrons think of us? Would we get kicked out of the restaurant? What did all this mean?

One question, however, took precedence over the others: Did I want to dance with Asher?

"Yes."

With a delighted smile, he stood up and offered his hand, gently pulling me towards the dance floor. We got a few startled looks, but as I slipped into Asher's arms, everything else faded away. We moved slowly to the music, my head resting against his shoulder. The song ended too soon, and the crooner launched into "Luck Be a Lady Tonight."

We reluctantly returned to our table, where our desserts were waiting for us. I dug into the chocolate tort with near orgasmic pleasure. I was almost finished before I noticed that Asher had only picked at his tiramisu.

"You don't like it?" I asked in total disbelief.

"What? Oh no, it's great."

"Then what's wrong?"

He forced a smile and shook his head. "Nothing is wrong. I guess I just have a lot on my mind. This has been such a nice night I hate for it to end."

"Thank you, Ash."

"For what?"

"All this. I've had a great time."

"Really?"

"Yes."

He looked around the restaurant, everywhere but at me. Despite the silence that had fallen between us again, he clearly had more he wanted to say. I waited patiently, until his eyes finally found their way back to me.

"I have something I need to tell you." He stared down at his plate. "You know how I said I didn't date much while I was at college?" I nodded. "I may have played it down a little."

I shrugged. "So?"

"I only seriously dated a couple of guys, but...I went out with a lot of them."

"There's nothing wrong with that." I shifted uncomfortably. I had a feeling I knew where he was going with this.

"None of them lasted very long though." He poked at the dessert, making little designs on the plate with the whipped cream.

"You know what they say about finding Mr. Right."

He dropped his fork and looked into my eyes. "Exactly. None of them were right, because they weren't you."

"Asher—"

"No, listen to me. I tried to get over you. I tried to get you out of my head, but I can't do it. You're too much a part of me."

"Ash, I'm with—"

"I know you're with Micah now. I also know that you still have feelings for me. I can see it in your eyes, feel it in your body. Admit it, it felt right for you to be in my arms again."

"I..."

There was no denying how right I'd felt in his arms. It didn't change the fact that I also had feelings for Micah, however confused they were at the moment. Before I could say anything, though, Asher continued.

"I was controlling and bitchy before. I wasn't supportive when you wanted to become a private investigator. I wasn't a very good boyfriend, especially at the end. I know it's no excuse, but I was afraid. I mean, you almost died. I was so scared of losing you that in the end I drove you away. I was angry because you were determined to pursue being a PI, even though you knew I was uncomfortable with it."

"Nothing has changed. In fact, I'm going for my license. It's just as dangerous as it ever was."

"I've changed. I've grown up, realized how much you mean to me. Maybe I don't even deserve a second chance. I know I screwed up royally with that whole Caleb thing. I'm sorry if I hurt you. There's no excuse, except that I was immature. We were both immature back then. We both made some bad decisions."

Although I heard everything he said, three words in particular kept echoing through my mind. "A second chance? Is that what you're asking for?"

He stared at me for a few seconds, then nodded slowly. "Yes. That's what I want more than anything: a second chance. I promise things will be different."

A long time passed while I turned his words over in my head. Asher played nervously with his napkin while he waited.

"I don't know," I said finally. "You're still going to college so far away."

"I could transfer to Pemberton, like we originally planned."

"You'd do that just for me."

"In a heartbeat."

I shook my head. "It's not that easy. I admit I still have feelings for you. Maybe I always will. You were my first love. But I also have feelings for Micah, and I can't just pretend they don't exist. We're going through a difficult time right now, so maybe I'm just feeling kind of vulnerable. I don't know what's going to happen with him, but I owe it to him to figure it out."

"So what are you saying?"

"I can't give you an answer right now."

"But you'll think about it?" He sounded so hopeful it almost broke my heart.

"I doubt I'll think about much else."

"I understand. I'll give you all the space you need from here on out, and I'll respect your decision, no matter what."

I nodded. "Thank you."

He gave me a small smile. "No, thank you. Tonight was incredible. I'm so glad you agreed to come."

"Me too."

Neither of us was in the mood to hang out after our talk, so Asher settled the bill and drove me home. Just as before, he insisted on walking me to the door.

I turned to give him a hug good night. "Thanks again for a wonderful evening."

"It was totally my pleasure," he whispered.

He pulled back and stared into my eyes. I knew what was coming. I could have stopped it, but I didn't want to. Our lips met in a passionate kiss, which quickly turned into another, and another.

He broke away first and gently stroked my cheek. "I'll wait to hear from you."

I nodded, my voice lost. As he drove away, I stood on the porch watching, lost in thought. I definitely had a lot to figure out, but I couldn't deny how nice it had felt to kiss Asher again.

After a few minutes, I let myself in — only to find Micah staring at me, his lips pressed tightly together and pain radiating from his eyes. My stomach dropped.

"I guess you made your decision."

"Micah! No! It's not—"

"Don't. I know what I saw. At least this saves you the trouble of actually having to tell me."

He brushed past me and started toward his car. If only I'd noticed it when we pulled up, but I was so used to other cars being in the small lot that I hadn't paid any attention.

"Micah, wait!" I called, rushing after him. He didn't slow. "Micah, please let me explain. I haven't made any decisions yet."

He opened his car door, still without turning or answering. Suddenly, I was angry at him. This was his fault. If he hadn't insisted, I would have never gone out with Asher.

"Why are you so mad at me? This was all your idea in the first place."

Micah wheeled around. "I never told you to make out with Asher. I told you to see him so you could settle your feelings for him. Apparently you have. Fine. I hope you have a happy life together. At least we found out all this before you moved in. Now that I know where your heart really belongs, I can take the job in New York. So long, Killian. It was great while it lasted."

He jumped in his car and slammed the door. I had to leap out of the way as the vehicle lurched into motion, spraying gravel in its wake. I stood helplessly watching him tear down the drive, while my brain tried to catch up.

I needed to go after him. I couldn't leave things like this. I raced to my car and jumped in, but by the time I pulled onto the road, Micah's taillights were already out of sight. His apartment seemed like the logical first place to check so I drove directly there. I lucked out and found his car in the lot. I parked next to it and ran up the stairs to his floor. I knocked, but got no answer. I knocked again — still no answer.

I leaned my forehead against the cool surface. "You might as well open the damn door, Micah. I know you're here. I have a key, and I'm not leaving until we talk."

"Just go away," came his muffled reply, his anger still palpable.

"Not until we talk."

The door opened suddenly, and I stumbled into his apartment.

"So talk." He slammed the door and faced me with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. His eyes were still flashing with pain.

"It wasn't what it looked like."

"It looked like you were kissing Asher."

"I mean, it wasn't what you thought. Yes, I kissed Asher. He took me to a romantic restaurant. They played our old song. We danced. I just got caught up in the romance and excitement of the evening, and I kissed him. That doesn't mean I've made up my mind about anything. In fact, I told him earlier tonight that I wasn't ready to make a decision yet. I still had too much to think about."

"He wants you back, doesn't he?"

I hesitated. "Yes."

"And you clearly still have feelings for him."

"You knew that before you told me to go out with him."

"So what's the problem? It seems obvious that you should just go back to him."

"The problem, as you put it, is the feelings I also have for you."

"Not enough to move in with me, though."

"Micah, that's not fair. I haven't said no."

"Yet. It's just a matter of time. I'm not asking for a lifetime commitment, Killian. I didn't ask you to marry me. I asked you to move in. If that's such a big deal, then I think the answer is obvious."

"Nothing is obvious! I don't make decisions quickly, especially when my emotions are this confused. I was still trying to figure out this whole moving-in business when Asher showed up. Maybe it's not fair, but he complicated things. Then the case is taking up so much of my time and energy. I just need a little more time to sort through my feelings."

"I've given you time."

"I need more."

"I don't have any more to give you. I can't just put my life on hold indefinitely. I thought we had something — something we could build on, something that would last — but I was just fooling myself."

"No!"

"Yes. Whether you realized it or not, you made a decision tonight — and I made one too. I'm taking the job."

"Don't make a decision when you're angry at me. Let's talk about this. Please."

I felt tears building up and blinked rapidly in an effort to control them.

He sighed and slumped against the wall. "There's nothing to talk about, Killian. I'm not even angry at you. I'm angry at myself because I let this drag on so long when it was obvious from the start that you weren't ready. We're at different places in our lives. I mean, I guess on some level I've known that for a while now. I shouldn't have tried to push you into something you're not ready for, but maybe that's why I did it in the first place. I just thought..." He rubbed his face. "I thought if I pushed you, you'd realize that you wanted the same thing I did. Obviously, that's not going to happen."

A sense of panic swept over me as I felt things spiraling out of my control. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I think it's best if we break up. I'll take the job in New York, and you can figure out if you want to get back together with Asher without the added complication of our relationship."

"No! I...I don't want to break up. I'll move in with you. Just...don't go."

He slowly shook his head. "I love you, Killian." I opened my mouth, and he held up a hand. "I know you love me too. That's not enough right now. You can't move in just to fix this. You'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons. If we took that step, it would have to be because you wanted to, not because you felt trapped into it. And if you really wanted to, the answer would have been clear to you a long time ago. No, I think it's time I moved on. We've run our course, and it was great. I don't regret anything."

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, and they spilled down my cheeks. "Micah, please..."

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as if he was in physical pain. Then he slowly opened them once again, and pushed away from the wall. "I think you should go now."

This wasn't happening. Micah wasn't breaking up with me. My brain refused to accept it. He opened the door and looked away.

"Micah—"

"Killian, please...don't make this harder than it is. Just...just go."

I stared at him, but he refused to meet my eyes, gazing vaguely into the apartment instead. I could tell he was fighting his emotions. His jaw was locked, and his eyes swam with unshed tears. He still cared about me. I knew he did. If I could just get him to look at me, listen to me...

For a moment, neither of us moved, then I numbly walked out of the apartment, still expecting him to change his mind at any second. I'd barely cleared the threshold when I spun around, but the door was already closing.

To his credit, he didn't slam it, although the click of the bolt sliding into place held the same finality.

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