Into Darkness and Desolation
(Prequel to Alone With Myself)
Chapter One: On My Own
©2002, WriteByMyself, All Rights Reserved.
Any duplication, in whole or in part, is expressly prohibited without the written consent of the author.
REVISION DATE: 11 December 2002

Special thanks to this chapter's proofreaders: Christin, Mac, John, Alastair, and Lars

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Pavel Nicholas Vonamoor lay in his bed in the last hours of his long life. His son, Mikhail, sat at his side in an old, wooden chair. Mikhail was very afraid, but he tried not to show it. His father was the very last living relative he had. His mother had succumbed to a virulent but unknown virus years before, and his other relatives, very few to begin with, had all died.

"Miki, son, come closer, please."

Mikhail Andrei Vonamoor moved the chair closer. However, for an eight year old boy, the chair was very heavy being made out of very old hardwood. It was some struggle, but he managed, knowing there was nobody to help him unless he wanted to summon the lone guard who stood without. "Yes, father, I am here," replied Miki, knowing his father had lost his sight earlier in the day. The dying often lost their sight.

"A responsibility is upon you, Miki."

"Yes, father," said Miki, his voice cracking slightly as he struggled not to cry. He could hear the pain in his father's voice and he knew his father was not long for this life.

"You are the last of this line, Miki. You will be King when I am gone. I have done my best to prepare you for your duties, even though you are young. You must find somewhere safe for our people, because we are slowly dying. You must take them underground."

"I know, Papa. You told me a revolution is coming and we'll be exterminated if we stay." Miki, being only eight, took the word underground quite literally, and though he didn't know it, history was set in motion. Often history is set in motion by the smallest, most simple miscommunication.

"Yes, Miki. It's more complicated than that, but at your age that is enough for you to understand. The Exarch can explain more as you need to know."

"I understand, father, but how will I do this?" asked Miki. At his age, he took the instruction literally not knowing any better, and in this moment the fate of his people, who often lived under the stars, was sealed.

"I do not know," replied Pavel, his voice cracking even more. "The man I had chosen as regent is dead, and there is no time to pick another. You will have to choose your own. You will have to find a wife and bear children when you are able. It is a sad thing to rob a boy of his childhood, but there is no time."

"I will make you proud, Papa. I will!" exclaimed Miki.

"I know son."

His father fell asleep again. Miki didn't know when his father would wake again, but he knew if he lasted until morning that it would be a miracle. Miki stood vigil by the side of the bed.

To occupy the time, Miki had been composing a goodbye speech to give to his father. He knew a good son would make a heartfelt farewell speech so his father could go in peace. Miki was nothing if not a dutiful son.

Many thoughts went through Miki's head while he sat at his father's side. As the night grew on, he became tired and dozed off. He awakened after a few hours, and noticed how still his father was. He realized he'd never be able to give his speech to his father. Miki knew he was now King.

He allowed himself a few moments in private to grieve, but he did not cry. He knew his father would not approve. He wondered what was in store for him, but he could not allow himself to dwell on it. He marched purposefully towards the door to the King's chamber and opened it, sticking his head outside into the hallway. "Guard! Inform Exarch Putin my father is dead. It is my duty to take the crown and the responsibility that goes with it."

"Yes, your Highness," replied the guard before going off to find the Exarch. The guard knew this moment had been coming, and so did the Exarch, though they did not expect it so quickly. The coronation would take place within a matter of hours, for the people must have a King.

It wasn't long before the Exarch came. He was flushed from haste, for he clearly had not expected this call. To a casual observer nothing was amiss, but to anyone who knew Putin, he looked dishevelled. "My prince, I came as quickly as I could. Forgive my appearance."

"There's nothing to forgive, Exarch. My time is come. We must hold the coronation as quickly as possible. Then, I must set my mind to selecting a regent to assist me until I come of age."

"My prince, if you will but allow me to offer some suggestions, I think you will find there are those who are qualified. If you'd like, I'll even select one for you."

"No! My father charged me with this duty. I will welcome your suggestions, but I must make the final decision myself."

The Exarch masked any distress at Miki's statements, "Of course! My apologies for suggesting it. I was only trying to help. No offence was intended."

Miki waved off the Exarch. "Summon me when it is time."

The Exarch scurried away with none of his usual dignity. Very few Exarchs got to crown a King, and he wanted this to be perfect. He would begin his planning almost immediately, stopping only to assign all his remaining duties to other officials.

Miki planned to go to bed and take a nap, however, he found sleep elusive -- thoughts of his father overwhelmed his other senses. He thought, perhaps, he'd speak to one of his many 'friends,' but he knew he didn't have any real friends. All his playmates were chosen by his father for political alliances, court politics, and other reasons of convenience. He knew he couldn't trust anyone.

After further consideration and being unable to fall asleep, Miki decided to go for a walk. He went out the door and the guard immediately fell in step two paces behind him. "I do not wish an escort."

"My prince, you have no choice. I am ordered to follow you and protect you."

"Prince? I am acting King, now. Exactly whose order is it that is before mine?"

"Your father's. I am loyal to his house, and to you. However, I will protect you should you will it or not. Until you are crowned, you must suffer my presence."

Anger briefly flashed through Miki's head, knowing he could order the execution of this guard. No, that wasn't proper. It wasn't just. "Very well," sighed Miki, knowing he had been beaten in this battle.

Miki walked purposefully towards the play area, which was outdoors ‹ heavily wooded, soft grass when the weather permitted, and secluded from passers-by unless they knew where to look.

The guard who was assigned to accompany him stopped at the edge of the area where the children gathered. As Miki walked in, the children stopped and regarded their prince. The children who were not chosen for him dutifully left the area knowing they were not permitted to be there. Miki observed this with the same stoic, dispassionate detachment that he always did ‹ at least it seemed that way to an observer who didn't know Miki. Inside he was deeply hurt by it. He wished he had one friend, just one, who was his friend because they liked him and not because they were obligated to be his friend.

He played for awhile but, as always, he grew frustrated because everyone expected him to make all the decisions from picking the game to handing out roles. The whole purpose of playing was to have fun and all the expectations sucked any joy out of the experience. The guard watched him, not much fearing for his safety. Everyone here was one of their race, and the danger was not from them. Miki had this urge to be away from it all, just for awhile.

He got up purposefully and told his 'friends' that he would be back in a moment. He walked calmly towards the drinking fountain, which was about as far away from the guard as he could get, and took a drink. Miki glanced back, waiting for the guard to get distracted by something. All guards were the same ‹ they'd be distracted, but only for the most scant seconds. Miki saw his chance as the guard looked at an attractive lady who had bent over to pick up her child. He made a break for it, running into the woods, trying to lose the guard.

It was not long before the guard realized something was amiss, perhaps only a few seconds. He didn't know if it was a kidnapping or if the Prince had wandered off. He immediately shouted for help as he began running towards the last place that he'd seen Miki. He didn't know what the cause of this situation was, but he knew there was a good chance he'd not live until morning if it wasn't resolved very quickly. A guard that allowed the soon-to-be-crowned King to disappear wasn't likely to have a very long life expectancy.

Miki ran as fast as he could, knowing the guard would find him if he wasn't careful. Soon, he was lost in the woods. Most children would be afraid, but Miki was pleased. If he was lost, then he'd be just as hard to find. He was pretty certain he'd be able to find his way back later.

He stopped running, not hearing the sounds of chase. He knew the guards were looking, but he knew they'd check the woods last because most children were afraid of the woods. He felt a momentary pang of guilt at the punishment the guard would receive, but he supposed he could fix it by explaining he'd run off when he returned. He realized the acting King should not act like this, but he needed one last bit of freedom.

He realized, to his great sadness, that in his freedom he was still alone. He decided it was foolishness and it was time for him to return to this burden that he'd been prepared for, yet did not want. He knew if he headed north, he'd eventually come to a river, and that river would lead him back to his people's hidden enclave at the foot of the mountains.

He determinedly started in the direction he was pretty sure was north. Had the day been sunnier, it would have been easier, but without the sun he took his best guess. He'd been walking for less than 15 minutes when he heard a trudging noise which he realized was someone else. He froze in place, realizing now that having a guard wasn't such a bad idea. He was smart, yet sometimes his stupidity amazed him.

"Hey! You!" shouted a voice with an odd accent.

Miki turned to face the voice, thinking it sounded like a child. Miki realized he was a child too, but he was also the King. Sure enough, another boy stood there. Miki mentally analyzed the situation, neither speaking, nor moving.

"What's wrong? Don't you speak English?"

"Yes, I speak it a little." Miki knew a little English in addition to some other languages. It was all part of his training.

"My name's Nigel. I'm here on holiday from England. I was bored and got lost in the woods whilst looking around for something to do."

"I am Miki. I live not far from here."

"Well, I'm staying in a hotel in the town not far from here. I just can't find my way back."

"I cannot go to the city. It is forbidden."

"I don't understand."

"It is too difficult to explain."

"Because of your English?"

"No, I think I can explain it. But, in explaining it, all you will have are more questions. Then you will be angry when I do not answer. It is just best you go back now." Miki pointed a finger towards, more or less, where the town was and repeated "You will go, now!"

"Bugger off! Just who do you think you are ordering me about?"

Miki didn't know how to answer that without getting laughed at, so he didn't answer.

In response to Miki's refusal to answer, Nigel became angry. "I asked you a question. Why won't you answer it?" Nigel gave Miki an angry push.

To anyone else, the push would have been a mild inconvenience, but to Miki, who had never had a hand laid upon his royal personage, it came as quite a shock. He fell over because he was not prepared for it. Nigel giggled at the expression on Miki's face.

"Sorry, mate. I didn't know you'd fall over." He extended his hand to help Miki up.

Miki looked at Nigel like he was a raving loon. "You can't do that to me!"

"Begging your pardon, I already did. Now do you want help getting up or should I just leave you there?"

Miki hesitantly reached out and grasped Nigel's proffered hand. Miki stood up with Nigel's help and dusted himself off. He wasn't quite sure what to do in this situation. He supposed an apology was in order, but the Prince never apologized except to his family, and the King never apologized to anyone. Ever. "Um, well, I'm sorry that I upset you."

"There. That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

Miki scowled, thinking it was very difficult indeed. "It's not something I'm used to doing."

"What, apologizing? Or explaining?" asked Nigel, quite confused.

"Either one. I don't have to apologize, normally."

Nigel laughed off the statement as simply ludicrous. Children of their age were always apologizing for everything. "Certainly not, of course," said Nigel, the sarcasm clear in his voice.

Nigel's sarcasm was not mocking, but humorous, so Miki took no umbrage at it. Miki realized this was the first time someone had interacted with him as an equal, another person, a human, and he rather liked it. He thought briefly, and wondered how trustworthy Nigel was.

"Nigel, can I trust you?"

"Of course you can, but that's a silly question. Even if you couldn't do you think I'd tell you?" replied Nigel.

Miki smiled at the answer, as it reassured him in some strange way. "Listen, Nigel, would you like to come with me?"

"What, to your house?"

"Yes, I suppose that's what you'd call it. We could play or something. I don't have many friends. I mean, I have lots of friends, but they're not really my friends." Miki didn't know why he liked Nigel, but he did. He'd never really made his own friend before. He was excited at the prospect and was willing to push it forward as fast as he could.

"You're fond of making confusing statements, aren't you? I don't see why I couldn't come over. Do you think I could be back before dark? Mum would go bonkers if I wasn't back for dinner."

"Yes, we can have you back by then, I'm sure. Besides, coming with me may help answer some of your questions."

"Well, I suppose we're off then."

"I can show you my room, where I play, that sort of thing," said Miki excitedly, not really having the chance to give the grand tour to anyone he wanted to. Mostly he had to give the tour to the children of visiting dignitaries. He was so tired of being treated like royalty. He understood that was part of his being, but he had always hoped someone would treat him normally. This was, he hoped, his big chance to be friends, even if for a day, with someone who would treat him as an equal.

"It sounds lovely. So, what do you do with your time?"

"Same as you, I suppose. School work, study, play a bit if I've the time."

"Right. Same everywhere I suppose. You have lots of friends? Will we meet some?"

"Well, as I said, I've lots of friends, but they aren't really my friends. Maybe we'll run into some. I don't know. I rather hope we don't."

"It sounds like you're friends with kids of your parents choosing, instead of friends that you chose. I know how it is, you know? My father is an important executive at the company where he works. He forces me to be friends with the kids of some of his bosses, but I don't like them. It keeps me from finding people I'd like better.

"Yes! Exactly! It's amazing to me, that I 'm not alone in feeling this way," shouted Miki with profound excitement that someone understood what he was feeling.

"I'm sure there's plenty more just like us. I wouldn't be concerned at all," said Nigel, changing the subject suddenly. "Your English is certainly good, I must say. You've barely stumbled."

"I have lots of practice. My tutors are very keen on languages. I speak several, though English is my second best, after my own of course."

Miki stopped. "Nigel, stop!" he commanded, holding out his hand much like a policeman would. "Look at me," he insisted.

Nigel was wondering what was happening, but he obeyed the command and looked at Miki. "What's this about? You really have to stop commanding people. You're supposed to ask, not order."

"I, Mikhail Andrei Vonamoor, wish to formally, and personally apologize for any insult I offered earlier. I hope we become friends. Real friends. I will try not to order you about, but it is in my nature. You'll see, soon."

Nigel smiled, taking Miki's apology as offered, knowing this one was sincere. His doubts about the earlier one were erased.

"I take it you'll accept my apology, then?"

Nigel nodded affirmatively and began walking, but slowly so Miki could resume the lead.

"When we arrive at my place, there's going to be a bit of excitement as I've run off a few hours ago. Just say nothing and let me handle it."

"If you say so."

They trudged past some rocks and Miki knew they were almost home. He also knew that the patrols that sneaked about looking for intruders would soon spot them and a commotion would ensue. He hated this part, but he had to deal with it. There was no way to avoid it.

It wasn't long before they heard a command, "Halt, stranger!"

Miki halted, motioning Nigel to do the same. He retorted with the appropriate, carefully worded reply, "It is I, Mikhail Andrei Vonamoor, no stranger to this land, this people." Almost any other reply would mean instant death.

Nigel didn't know what was going on, but he knew it was serious by the sounds of the voices. Nigel became determined to learn Russian so he could understand the people with whom his new friend lived.

A tall man stepped out, and Nigel was shocked. The person he was confronted with could easily have been mistaken for an elf, and not just any elf, either. The facial features were all formed like one would expect an elf's to be, but the rest of his features were more human. The phrase "half-blood" came to mind unbidden, most likely from some novel he had read. He could tell the man was some sort of soldier because of the uniform.

The guard looked at Miki and realized there had been a fight of some sort. "Is this the one who harmed you, Sire?"

"Yes, but peace be upon him."

"Sire, it is death to touch the royal personage, much less to fight with him!" exclaimed the guard, emphasizing the word death as clearly as he could.

"I bade him do it as a contest of strength. Let it pass."

"As you wish, sire."

Nigel didn't understand a word of what was transpiring, but it was clear to him that the guard was agitated, and that Miki was clearly of a rank higher than the guard even though Miki was very young. It didn't make sense, but this wasn't normal. He was certain of that.