INTRODUCTION and DISCLAIMER: Like most authors I am not entirely sure where this novel will take me, but rather than limit myself, take this as your official warning: this material is designed for adult audiences only. If you are under legal age, you should not access this novel without your parents' permission. While most of the novel will be suited for any audience, parts of it may contain vulgar language, extreme violence, and/or sexual situations which may make some people uncomfortable. If you may be offended by any of this, you should not read any of the chapters. I will not limit my future writing to keep from offending those with weak minds and constitutions.
The following story is fiction. All characters and events in the novel are fictional. They are made-up. Imaginary. Not real. Mostly.
Also, as a tribute to the many on-line authors whom I've read, I've taken a few select lines (no more than a few really great sentences) and worked them into select chapters. If you see one of your sentences, it means you inspired me at that point!I hope you like what's here and I thank you for your time in coming here and reading. I really love comments, suggestions, and even criticisms, so please feel free to send me feedback. A special word of thanks to those who have written and offered words of support and encouragement.
I take my time writing, so if you want to see new chapters quicker, drop me a note and say something. I answer all mail. Flames will be cheerfully ignored, but constructive criticism is welcome. Please, write me at writebymyself@NOSPAMaol.com (remove the NOSPAM to reply). I'd like to offer special thanks to my proofreaders CK and EW. Lastly, if you're a publisher, or know one, and would be interested in this work when finished, please write me directly.
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You cannot distribute this story, print it for publication, put it on another web site, display this story, nor publish it anywhere without the express written consent and permission of the author. Verbal permission is not valid.
Time was virtually frozen for the next few seconds as Alex tried to retain his composure. The whole scene was threatening to him. With all the news media around, he felt like he was being violated somehow. He didn't want his personal life to be on the front page of the paper in the morning. Nicky followed close behind Alex as they kept as far away from the restraining barricade as they could.
Alex had a sudden realization. Dear God! How am I going to explain Nicky to my parents? They're expecting me. The reporters are expecting me. Nobody is expecting Nicky. I can't believe I didn't think of this.
Nicky followed Alex, a few steps behind. He was overwhelmed by the attention that was about to be bombarded upon him. Wait. They aren't going to care about me. They don't even know who I am. Oh, bollocks! His parents aren't going to let me come home with Alex.
Time unfroze. Alex set his bag down and began to speak, "Hi..."
Alex made a muffled sound, unable to continue, as his mother sprinted forward and smothered him with hugs. "My baby. My poor little baby," she said as flashes went off. His mother was a small, light, feisty woman. Nonetheless, she was in tears by the time Alex finally managed to break the embrace and take a step back, taking care to have his back to the cameras.
"Mom, you're embarrassing me," he said with little effect except that he could breathe again. Flash bulbs continued to explode, and reporters hollered questions. The reporters and their cameramen were three deep, but fortunately they were on the other side of a makeshift barricade. Alex was not focused on them right now nor were his parents. Nicky stood silently in the background, not wanting to interrupt the family moment.
Alex's father spoke after his wife had finished. "How are you doing, son? Are you okay? Did they do anything to you?" He patted his son on the back, timidly, uncomfortably. This was an alien situation for him and he wasn't adapting to it well.
"I'm fine, Dad. Nothing too terrible happened. I was a bit scared, but who wouldn't be?" Alex regarded his father, an unusually tall man with dark features. It seemed his father's hair had greyed a bit more than he had remembered since he left and his chiselled features were more stark than he remembered. At first meeting, anyone would have assumed him to be a marine drill sergeant.
"Good. Glad to hear it," replied Alex's father. This was about as emotional as he ever got. To Alex that brief show of emotion was a surprise. "Do you know who this boy is back here that's been staring at us?" Alex's father asked, gesturing towards Nicky.
"Sorry. Yes. This is Nicky; we met on the flight. He was on his way to Los Angeles but his flight was cancelled and they put him on this plane instead. His connection is tomorrow morning. I was kind of hoping you'd let him stay with us. The airline would put him up in a hotel, of course, but I was trying to be nice since he kept me company on the flight."
Alex's father was suspicious. This certainly wasn't like his son to bring a stranger forward like this. He knew his son was a loner, so it made no sense to him at all. Besides, strangers were certainly not welcome in their home. "Well son, I'm not sure if that's such a good idea."
His wife stepped in and went to Nicky, "Hello, dear, my name is Amanda Maitland, but you can call me Mandy if you'd like."
"Pleased to meet you, mum. I'm Nickolai. But everyone just calls me Nicholas or Nicky. I prefer Nicky if it's all the same to you."
"Of course he can stay the night, Alex," said his mother. Alex's father scowled, but said nothing. He knew some battles were not to be fought and this was one. The motherly instinct battle was one he wouldn't win. He fumed silently.
It was clear to Nicky that Alex's father wasn't going to introduce himself. Rather than make a scene and wait for an introduction that was obviously not forthcoming, he stepped forward and introduced himself, taking a slight dig at someone he already was beginning to see as his opponent, "Hi, I'm Nicky. Pleased to meet you. And your name, sir, is?"
Alex's father didn't appreciate the not-too-subtle manners lesson from the young Englishman. "Eric. My name's Eric. I don't suppose you have a last name, young man."
Nicky was about to answer, and Alex was just coming to the realization he didn't know Nicky's last name, when an especially loud and obnoxious reporter began persistently calling out to them. It was impossible to continue the conversation with the interruption. "Please, may we have a comment for the news!?"
"No! Just go away! Leave us alone!" screamed Alex. Grabbing his bag, he began to walk away. His parents crowded around him protectively, and didn't seem to notice or mind when Nicky joined in as well. They formed a human wall around Alex as they went towards the exit.
They were, of course, followed. They managed to lose many of their pursuers in the elevator to the parking garage. Only so many people could cram in one elevator cab. They got to the parking garage, still being followed by a persistent few. They reached their vehicle, a silver Jeep Cherokee. They could hear, in the distance, clamouring at the stairwell. They knew more reporters were coming. All three of them threw the luggage in the back, piled into the vehicle, and locked the doors.
It was only seconds later that the reporters began banging on the windows, cameras at every angle. More and more reporters funnelled into the parking garage, as Eric sped down the ramp towards the exit. Their luck held, because clearly none of the reporters had cars, at least on this level. They knew it wouldn't be long though if they didn't make their escape.
Soon, they had paid their parking toll, and had moved onto the airport exit ramp towards Highway 101 South. It wasn't a particularly long drive, though it was terribly uncomfortable, all in silence. Clearly, thought Nicky, Alex's parents were waiting until they got home to really go into it. He wasn't looking forward to being there, but he wasn't looking forward to being alone either. So, he supposed, this was better than nothing.
A few turns after they exited the highway, they were in a residential area. Nicky observed that it was a fairly well-to-do part of town compared to what he had seen back home. Neighbourhoods such as this didn't exist in London you had to leave the city to see anything resembling this. Odd, though, Alex didn't seem like a spoiled rich kid.
It was very clear which house belonged to the Maitlands as there were a half-dozen news trucks parked on their lawn. The house couldn't possibly belong to anyone else. Alex's dad surveyed the scene for a moment, found an empty path over the lawn that led to the garage, which he opened using the remote. They drove in and shut the garage door to the sounds of shouting reporters and clicking shutters.
Alex's father walked in and picked up the phone "Hello, police? This is Eric Maitland. I have a bunch of news crews at my house disturbing me."
"What do you mean, you can't do anything?"
"Freedom of the press? What about my privacy?"
"Oh, is that how it is? Well how about you haul 'em off for parking on my goddamned lawn? That's trespassing isn't it?"
"Well let 'em park in the fucking street instead of my lawn."
"I don't care if it blocks the street. That's your problem. Just do it." He slammed the phone down.
"Listen, kids," said Amanda, "you're probably tired, hungry, and want to unwind. I won't lie and say that Eric and I don't want to talk to Alex at great length, but I think it can wait until tomorrow after Nicky leaves. There's no sense in burdening him with it. I'll make something for dinner, then I'll let you two go to sleep if you'd like."
"Yes, please, I'd like that," said Nicky truthfully.
"Is chicken okay?"
"Yes, fine. Thank you."
"Do you want to use the phone to call whomever you were meeting in LA?"
"No, I've already called from the airport before we came through customs. But thank you anyway for the offer."
"My, you certainly are a polite young man. Alex, you should learn from his example," stated his mother with a good-natured look.
"Run upstairs, get the cot, get settled, and wash up if you'd like. This'll take me a while."
"Thanks, Mom."
Alex grabbed two sodas out of the fridge. Then both boys went upstairs.
"Nicky, you're going to have to stay in my room. We've got a cot. The guest room is full of junk. We use it for storage."
"Go ahead and lie down on my bed. It may take a few minutes for me to find it." Alex was, indeed, gone for some time, trying to dig the cot out of the guest room. Finally, he rolled it down the hall back to his room. With Nicky's assistance they finally got it set up. Alex left again, and came back with some sheets and made the bed, refusing Nicky's offer to do it himself.
"Thanks. I'm just going to lie down a little while longer and think of what to do tomorrow when I'm supposed to go to Los Angeles. No sense in undoing my kit."
"I'll unpack my stuff while you rest," said Alex, noticing Nicky didn't switch beds.
"Alex, why are you being so nice to me?" Nicky set the soda on his nightstand and turned back to face Alex.
"Nicky, you really don't know?"
Nicky wiped his face and shook his head no.
Alex paused for a second before answering. "Because you have never given me a reason not to." Alex reached over and grabbed his own can and sat down on the floor, and looked Nicky straight in the eyes. He took a long swig from his drink and then set it back down.
Alex grinned, pleased with the realization that suddenly dawned on him, and said, "Well, you ain't never had a friend like me." I think we're friends, real friends; the thought made Alex a little giddy. He wasn't sure if he'd ever had a real friend before. Then he stopped grinning as another thought crept in. What if he doesn't feel the same way?
Nicky spoke after a few moments of silence, "Um, I gotta ask you a question. It's important. I'm not quite sure how to ask this. I mean, it's not just something you ask someone. It's not something guys usually talk about. I want to know the answer, and I don't want to know at the same time. I want us to still be friends after I ask this question, but I'm afraid of your reaction."
Alex interrupted, "You can ask me anything. I'm a big boy. I can just not answer if I want. No question could possibly ruin a friendship."
"I don't know about that," said Nicky uncertainly. "Do you at least promise to talk it out after I ask it?"
"Yeah, I don't see why not."
Nicky took a deep breath, made sure he had eye contact with Alex and began what he thought was the most uncomfortable sentence in his life, "Well, here goes nothing: Do you love me?"
Alex got a shocked look on his face. "What do you mean? In what way?"
Nicky was already beginning to get upset because he knew Alex was reacting badly. "In any way. I want to know how you really feel. I want to know what we're about."
Nicky was met with silence. For five long minutes, but what seemed like a thousand lifetimes, there was not a word spoken between them.
Finally, able to take the silence no more, Nicky pleaded, "Answer me? Please?" in a pitiful, insecure voice.
"BOYS! Dinner is almost ready!" boomed Amanda's voice before Alex could answer.
Alex looked relieved at the interruption. Nicky looked frustrated, pensive, and hurt. Neither noticed the other's reaction, being so wrapped up in their complex thoughts.
"Listen, Nicky, I know you're worried about how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. I was just thinking, which is why I didn't answer. That question wasn't what I was expecting. You caught me totally and completely off-guard. We'll get back to this after dinner. I promise."
Nicky thought, I wanted to catch you off guard. I didn't want you to have time to think about it. Damn. I really want to cry, but only sissies cry.
"Come and get it, boys!" Amanda yelled.
"Let's go eat. We'll talk more afterwards."
They went downstairs to eat dinner and came into the dining area where their meal awaited them. It was simple, but solid fare. Nicky looked around, and saw there was salad, two plates of vegetables, some rice, some bread, and grilled chicken breasts covered with a dark sauce of some sort, and garnished with pineapple chunks.
Alex sat down as did Amanda and Eric. Nicky stood there.
"Well, aren't you going to sit down?" asked Eric somewhat irritably.
"Yes, sir," and sat down. He never would have dreamt of sitting without an invitation. It just wasn't done. This particular act of good manners went unnoticed by everyone. Nicky realized he was just having a bit of culture shock.
"So, Alex, what did you do in London?" asked his parents. Clearly it wasn't the question they wanted to ask, but in deference to the stranger, they picked topics that were relatively safe.
Alex went on at some length about various sights he saw. Nicky listened but his thoughts were clearly elsewhere. He picked at his food, eating slowly, not really caring if he could taste it or not. Had he noticed, he would have discovered that Amanda Maitland was a very good cook indeed.
"Hey, Nicky, I'm not boring you, am I?"
"No, Alex. Sorry, I'm just very tired. It's been a rather long and unexpectedly stressful day."
Amanda asked, "Where are you from, Nicky?"
"London. I live in London, not far from Abbey Road. You know, where that Beatles' album cover was shot." He thought it was a safe answer, though technically he lived under London and not in it.
"What do your parents do?"
Nicky thought for a moment to the answers he used when dealing with others from this world. "Dad's an executive. Mum mostly stays about the house unless she's involved in some cause for the moment."
Eric popped in, clearly trying to get more information, "What kind of work, exactly, does he do?"
Nicky began to get irritated a bit at the direct questioning, and tried not let it show. He hoped Alex would jump in and save him. "Well, as I said he's an executive. He's senior management and in charge of many people. Basically he makes sure the whole operation runs smoothly, interprets the rules, resolves disputes, and metes out justice. You could say it's his own little kingdom." Nicky smiled at his inside joke. Alex's eyebrows raised just enough for Nicky to realize he'd also caught the reference.
"Good, good," remarked Eric before his wife inquired, "So what were you going to be doing in Los Angeles?"
"I was, um, going to visit my Aunt for a holiday. Yes, that's it." Shit thought Nicky. He hadn't meant to say that last bit out loud.
Alex once again arched his eyebrows. Fortunately, nobody else noticed, but it was obvious had they been paying attention.
Nicky stifled a real yawn. Loud sounds began to come from the front lawn.
"Now what?" queried Eric irritably, pushing his chair back from the table and stalking towards the front door to peer outside. "'bout damned time. The police are clearing the lawn, at least."
"Tell you what, just for tonight, I'll clean up and you boys can go to bed. It's obvious you're about to pass out," said Amanda with a motherly smile.
"Thanks, Mom."
"Thanks, Mrs. Maitland."
They went back upstairs and went into Alex's room.
"Could I take a shower, please?" asked Nicky. "It's been a long day and I could likely use one."
"Yeah, but don't be too long. The hot water doesn't last long enough for all of us and I could probably use one too. I'll get you a towel. There's shampoo, soap, and all that stuff in the shower. There's other stuff under the sink. If you need anything that isn't there, just let me know."
While Alex went for towels, Nicky rummaged through his backpack for something to sleep in, settling on a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt. Alex returned, gave Nicky a towel, and pointed him towards the bathroom. Nicky was somewhat relieved to see the door opened into both Alex's room and the hallway, so he wouldn't have to go through the hall. He went in, carefully locked both doors, and showered as quickly as he could so as to leave some hot water for Alex. His mind couldn't let go of the unanswered question.
"Your turn, Alex." He came out, wrapped in a towel, unlike the last time they were in this situation.
Alex went in the bathroom. Nicky waited until he heard the door lock and the water running to begin to change his clothes. Alex came out not too long after in a pair of shorts. They both climbed into their respective beds with nary a word, Nicky growing increasingly distressed. He hurt inside because he thought Alex had forgotten his question, or worse ignored it. It wasn't as though Alex had to answer him, but he was so sure Alex would answer him. He wasn't going to bring it up again.
Alex flicked off the light, the sound unusually noticeable in the palpable silence.
The silence was broken a few moments later by Alex. "Nicky, I bet you thought I forgot your question. I haven't. I'd just rather talk in the dark. I feel more comfortable that way. I know talking in the dark sounds odd, but that's how I am, especially when it comes to difficult conversations. And this certainly qualifies as a difficult conversation. Before I answer your question, can I ask why you want to know?"
Nicky's hurt and pain vanished when he realized Alex wasn't blowing him off. "Other than what I told you before, I don't know really. It's just that I feel this connection between us, and want to know if you feel it too. I want to know what's real and what's not. And, to be honest, I'm being selfish. I'm asking you to tell me what you feel without you knowing up front how I feel. Nobody ever wants to get hurt by opening up. It's one of life's greatest fears. I suppose deep down, I must be a coward 'cause it really does scare the hell out of me."
"That's great," said Alex with a sarcastic but gentle tone to his voice. "Put all the pressure on me. Me, who doesn't ever tell anyone his feelings. Ever. No matter what. I'm too afraid. So, I know exactly what you mean. Do you have any idea how scary it is to let someone see inside of you? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is? You're asking me to risk everything without any reassurances or guarantees."
"Well, if you..." began Nicky, becoming suddenly nervous again.
Alex stopped Nicky from speaking, "Stop! It was rhetorical. Of course you know; that's obvious. Anyway, you know what? I'm going to do it. This situation is as low risk as I'm going to get. I mean, tomorrow, you have to leave and I may never see you again. Thing is, I don't want to say this, but part of me needs to say it. It's so uncomfortable and difficult for me; I don't have the words to describe the discomfort. Anyway, to answer your question. Yes, I love you."
"I love you too," said Nicky almost inaudibly.
"It's not just words, Nicky. That was an unqualified 'yes' no conditions attached. The worst thing is, I don't even know why I feel this way. It's like you're my best friend without any reason for you to be my best friend. And someone can't be your best friend if you don't love them. I hope I'm not less of a man in your eyes because of it."
Nicky wasn't entirely sure if he was relieved or not. The answer he got was far more intense than he expected. That brought in new and more complicated questions he just couldn't bring himself to ask. "Alex, I'm glad we understand each other. I don't understand this either, and it's really confusing to me. You sound so much more confident, so much more certain."
"Me? You're fucking nuts! You felt the connection first. You told me that before. Don't you remember?" asked Alex.
"Yes, Alex, I know that. But I didn't know what it was. I just knew there was something there. You articulated it, identified it."
"So now we're best friends. Until when? Tomorrow you have to go. That won't do. I have a plan. I've become really good at lying lately. You're just going to have to play along at this new one."
"What is it?" asked Nicky.
Alex explained to Nicky as they lay in the dark. Sleep slowly claimed them.