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On the plane, the captain made an announcement, "Ladies and Gentlemen, due to the cancellation of another flight, we'll be pulling back into the gate to allow more passengers aboard. For those of you with connecting flights, not to worry. With the favourable winds, we expect to arrive at San Francisco less than ten minutes behind schedule."

There was a collective moan from the passengers as the scramble for the remaining overhead space began.

Within moments, the jetway was re-engaged. "Will everyone on board please be seated," said the flight attendant, emphasizing the last few words. "This short delay will go very quickly if people can get on, find an open seat, and get situated. As soon as the new passengers are seated, we'll be underway. Thank you."

Alex decided to try and make the window seat next to him look occupied. He grabbed his backpack and threw it in the empty seat. Then, to make it even harder on someone, he buried his nose in his book. Even fewer people would be likely to interrupt him. With luck, they'd move on and leave him to himself. Sure enough, he was aware of people beginning to file past in an effort to find an open seat.

One lady stopped and said, "Pardon, is this seat taken?" Alex acknowledged her comment with a non-committal grunt. Unable to decide if it was a yes-grunt or a no grunt, she moved on.

He knew it was getting down to the last few passengers as he heard, "Please take your seats, ladies and gentlemen. We should be ready to take-off again shortly. We're fully refuelled, and the additional meals have been put on-board."

"Excuse me," said a voice, "I'm taking that seat next to you unless it's occupied."

Alex, having no response to get out of that short of a lie, which would be apparent as soon as the plane pulled back from the gate, put down his book to let the new arrival in. "Shit!" he exclaimed far too loudly, causing a few people to turn and stare.

"Hello, then. Nice to see you too," said Nicky. Nicky proceeded to the empty seat, and sat down. "You're looking awfully pale."

Alex sat back down, knowing he'd probably be safe on the plane, and that it would give him many hours to contemplate how to deal with this unexpected and entirely unwelcome situation. Alex hissed, his voice full of vitriol, "You bet I'm looking pale! You're going to kill me and I'm supposed to be calm and happy? You've got a lot of fucking nerve just sauntering in like everything's just dandy!"

"Kill you? What on earth gave you that idea?" inquired Nicky, doing what Alex thought was a good impersonation of being slightly taken aback.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please be sure your trays are put away, that your seats are in the upright position, your carry-ons are in an overhead bin or under the seat in front of you, and that all electronic devices are turned off. The cabin crew will be coming about to check that everything is in order. We are pleased to announce the re-departure of this flight." With a slight thump, the plane once again pulled away from the gate.

"You must be kidding!" Alex asked incredulously, trying to ignore the continuing drone from the public address speakers. "You're the one who fixed it so I could listen in! You know I heard every word. Where the fuck do you think I got the idea? What kind of moron are you?" Alex was very clearly agitated and wouldn't look directly at Nicky for more than a few seconds.

The plane taxied towards the runway and ground to a halt. "This is your captain speaking. We're sixth in line for take-off and should be airborne shortly. Thanks for flying British Airways."

Nicky knew this would take a while. Thankfully they were on a plane with nowhere to go for well over nine hours. "Listen to me. Of course, I know what you heard. Why do you think I've been trying to find you? You can't honestly believe I'd hurt you."

"I don't know what to believe, Nicky."

"Look at me. Stop looking away. I want you to look at me. If you look me in the eye and tell me you have even the slightest concern that I'll hurt you, I'll go sit somewhere else."

Alex didn't know what to believe. He kept thinking about it. Nothing made sense. Besides everything he had seen, which were indisputable facts, as far as he was concerned, he had these complex feelings. He felt something, a connection, to Nicky. He was pretty sure he didn't want to feel it, because it was obviously a complicating factor. He also knew he had been silent far too long and that Nicky was waiting for a reply; yet, he didn't know what to say. He kept thinking. Damn. Life was so complicated. All I want to do is live my life how I want. Why do things have to keep getting in the way? I don't understand. I don't even know who to talk to. I'm so trapped, confused, and so alone. Wait. I thought I liked alone. Fuck. This sucks. Alex was vaguely aware of the plane taking off while he thought.

Nicky said, "Alex, you've been sitting there for almost ten minutes. Say something. Anything. Please?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude as evidenced by the captain turning off the seatbelt indicator. We do, however, suggest you keep your seatbelts securely fastened at all times whilst in your seats. At this time you may use select electronic devices as indicated in the rear of your in-flight magazine. We will be coming through the cabin shortly to take your beverage orders. We'll be serving a meal as well. If you prefer to sleep, there is a 'Do Not Wake' sticker in the seat pocket in front of you. Please affix it to yourself where the flight attendants can see it. Right after the meal service, we'll begin the in-flight movies. Those of you in the forward cabin have eight channels to choose from. Those of you in the rear cabin will be seeing Billy Elliot, followed by Gladiator. Headset rental is complimentary on transoceanic flights."

The flight attendants began to roam the cabin and take beverage orders.

Finally, Alex said, "Stay."

"Stay? That's all I get?"

"Jesus fucking Christ! What do you want me to do? You've got me all scrambled inside. I think I...." Alex stopped. He almost said something he didn't want to say. Something he never said to anyone. He was shocked at the fact he almost verbalized it.

"You think you what?"

"Nothing. I lost my train of thought. Look, we have to work this out and we have to do it before we land. I've been trying to think of all the possible scenarios. Before we land, I'll have decided what's best for me. You've left me two choices, and I don't relish the decision because you've forced me to gamble with my life. If I guess wrong, I'll die. I don't suppose that's the worst thing. It's not like I have the best life or anything, but it would be awfully anti-climactic after all I've been through recently."

Nicky didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "I promise you, I won't hurt you. If it'll help, when we get off the plane, I'll turn right around and get on a plane back home. You can watch. Hell, if you want, I'll turn myself in to the police. I don't know what for because I haven't done anything. But please, don't even think you're going to die ‹ I really couldn't stand that."

Alex looked at Nicky. "It's a little bit funny, this conversation. I'm sixteen years old. I'm not supposed to have conversations that sound like this."

"Why not? Many young people have old souls hidden inside. Maybe that's just you. You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think that you think too much. Sometimes you just need to listen to your instincts and trust your feelings. You'll be right more often than you will imagine."

"Probably so. My instincts are pretty good. I'm not worried about the times I'd be right. It's the times I'd be wrong."

Their beverages arrived in the hands of a matronly stewardess, "Here you go, boys."

Alex winced. He knew she was trying to be nice. "Thank you," he said through gritted teeth. He hated being called a boy by adults. He was a man. Or maybe not quite a man, but definitely not a boy. He looked at Nicky, but Nicky didn't seem to be bothered in the least by it. Maybe I do think too much. I wonder if I should try and act based on my first gut feeling? Or maybe I should just think about things for a fixed amount of time. There's just so much that might go wrong. Alex laughed out loud at the irony of thinking about thinking too much.

"What?" asked Nicky, staring at Alex.

"You're right. I do think too much. But, that's me. I'm not going to change that; it's too much a part of me. Maybe it's one of my better qualities."

"Deep," replied Nicky, trying to be sarcastic.

Alex missed the sarcasm, "Yeah."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be passing through the cabin, passing out headsets for those who wish to see film or listen to our audio programme. At the same time, the cabin crew will be about shortly, passing out your customs forms. Please be sure to get the correct form. We suggest filling them out prior to your arrival and putting them inside your passport as it will enable you to clear customs faster."

The meal service began shortly thereafter. The choices were the predictable airline fare of a chicken breast with mystery sauce, a vegetarian pasta dish, and a meat surprise casserole-type dish. Alex ordered the chicken breast while Nicky ordered the pasta. Neither looked particularly appetizing, but it was marginally better than starving.

The stewardess moved on to the next row.

"Well, are we going to talk?" asked Nicky, clearly anxious about something.

Alex wasn't quite ready to deal with this conversation so he dodged it. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to watch the movie while I eat. We've got plenty of time," and with that Alex put on his headphones and watched as the opening credits of Billy Elliot began.

Nicky, left without much choice, did the same. He hadn't packed much in the way of entertainment. Neither of them had seen the film, and they were both captivated by it. Occasionally Nicky stole a glance at Alex to see what his reactions were to different scenes. Finally, the film ended.

"Wow, that was powerful," said Alex. Then he realized he said it out loud and blushed. He hadn't meant to.

"'Cor! Wonder boy speaks!" exclaimed Nicky, hoping Alex wouldn't take that wrong too. He quickly added, "However, wise-arse comments aside, I agree. It was wonderful. I think part of it spoke to me, but I'm not sure what it said just yet. It sort of overwhelmed me."

Me too, thought Alex, though he was afraid to say it out loud. "I know what you mean."

"You do?" inquired Nicky, trying to keep the conversation going.

"Yeah. Maybe not in the way you think."

"What do you mean? That's an interesting thing to say."

"Well, you know that scene near the very end? Where he runs back and kisses his friend?"

"Yeah, it was just a friendship thing. They didn't go snogging," replied Nicky.

"I know. That's what I liked about it. It was just another scene. It wasn't a big deal. Nothing bad happened. They were friends. Go do that to one of your friends and see what it gets you."

"Not likely a bloody good reaction, I'm sure."

Alex turned and stared right at Nicky, looked him in the eye and asked, "So, what do you think of that scene, Nicky?" Alex was curious since this would clearly speak as to what kind of person Nicky was inside.

Nicky panicked. This was clearly a test; it was obvious by Alex's tone of voice, his mannerisms, his expression. Nicky guessed that the wrong answer would be a Bad Thing. That was obvious. Now, the question was what was the right answer? I'm going to have to tell the truth. I hope he accepts it.

"Hello? Are you going to answer?"

"Sorry. I was putting my thoughts in order. I was trying to think of what answer you wanted to hear. Then I realized either way you might not like what I say. I'm going with the truth, for better or worse. I think it was sweet. It was great. I wish real life was like that. I wish you could tell someone what you really feel. I wish you could show someone what you really feel. But life makes it so fucking complicated. Look at us, Alex. Look at us. Can you honestly tell me you haven't felt something? That there isn't something to us more than a simple acquaintance? Deep down don't you feel we belong together somehow?"

"Um," Alex replied. That was more than he expected. It was better than he expected. The passion in what Nicky said was evident. Now, how to reply?

"Shit, Nicky, I don't know what to say. Even if I did, I'm not sure a plane full of people is the right place to say anything. I have to say, I do think we're more than typical casual friends. I felt it when we met, and I've felt a few times since. I didn't want to admit it then, and I don't really want to admit it now. The whole implication of what you've said leaves me, well, uneasy." Alex left the rest unsaid. He didn't even know how to bring it up and he felt like a coward because of it. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to be with you. I didn't think past that. I didn't even stop to think why. Maybe I thought I could protect you from myself. I realize that sounds really, really stupid. I acted on emotion which isn't always the best thing to do," said Nicky.

I feel for the first time Nicky is letting me into his world. That private area people reserve for a few people in their lives. Most people, me included, try and keep this wall up around ourselves, a kind of facade. Alex reflected on a lot of things as the plane soared through the sky: life, death, and what it must feel like to lose someone you love. Love? Yeah, love. I think so. Love is a tricky word. It can mean so many things to so many people, and there are so many kinds of love. Yeah, love is a very tricky word, Alex thought as he drifted to sleep.

Over the next few hours the cabin became silent as the passengers slowly dropped off to sleep.

Alex, Nicky, and quite a few other passengers were awakened by violent turbulence as the plane bounced about suddenly. The captain turned on the seat-belt light followed by the traditional bing. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we're experiencing a bit of turbulence, as I'm sure you have noticed. It's nothing to worry about and it should pass in about fifteen minutes. Let me take this opportunity to inform you that we're expecting to land in about ninety minutes. On behalf of the cockpit crew, we'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for flying British Airways. We know you had many choices, and we appreciate you flying with us today."

"'Cor, this isn't very fun," said Nicky who was rather queasy at the bouncing about. He wasn't handling the turbulence very well. He started digging around in the seat pocket in front of him for the air-sickness bag. He was pretty sure he was going to have to test it out.

"Really? I don't feel a thing," said Alex in an obviously sarcastic tone of voice as the plane lurched up suddenly, causing his seatbelt to dig into him. "Hey, if you're gonna' heave, make sure you aim it the other way. I don't want that shit anywhere near me. It's nasty."

"Thank you ever so much for ..." and then Nicky spewed into the bag. He paused for a moment to catch his breath, "... your concern about my health." Then, for good measure, he vomited again. He was hardly alone in his misery as the plane continued bouncing for what seemed like hours.

The plane finally stopped the mosh-pit in the sky act, and the cacophony of vomiting was replaced with a cacophony of bings as people summoned the flight attendants to clear away the bags. Alex watched the strange barf-ballet with a morbid curiosity. What a fucking horrendous job. I mean, going around collecting barf-bags. What on earth would make someone take this job?

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain again, I believe we've cleared the turbulence and I'm going to turn off the seat-belt sign. As always, we encourage you to remain seated with your seat-belt securely fastened." Bing.

Soon, the plane was in final approach. The evening lights of San Francisco could be seen on the horizon. As the plane descended, Alex and Nicky looked out the window. Alex always admired the approach to San Francisco, certainly one of the most beautiful cities in the world. When the world-renowned fog was in its usual place, crawling in from the Pacific Ocean to envelop the city, there wasn't much to see. But right now, it was a clear night and the city's lights echoed the sentiment of the legendary moniker, Baghdad by the Bay. Coit Tower stood lit like a beacon, welcoming people to the city by the bay. The Golden Gate Bridge was majestic even at night. The city was a deeply moving place, so unlike most concrete jungles of the world. San Francisco had a personality, and she was vibrant.

Bing. Bing. Bing."Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your lead flight attendant. We're on our final approach. Please make sure your seat backs are upright, that your trays are in their locked position, all electronic devices are turned off, and your articles are stowed safely under the seat in front of you. The cabin crew will be about to collect any cups and bottles you may have left."

"It's beautiful," said Nicky. "What an amazing, beautiful city. It's not like London at all."

"Not that I'm a world traveller, but there's some old, sappy song called I Left My Heart in San Francisco. Anyone who's ever been here understands how very easy it is." Shit, thought Alex, I sound like the fucking tourist board.

The plane zig-zagged its way in and descended slowly towards the runway. There was a gentle bump as the plane touched down, rolled down the runway, and towards the international terminal. There were the obligatory stops and starts as they crossed taxiways and runways.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to San Francisco International Airport. When you arrive, please have your passports and documents ready for passport control. There is absolutely no smoking in this area. US Law prohibits the use of cellular phones until you clear customs. Please remain seated until the aircraft has come to a full and complete stop at the gate and the captain has indicated it's safe to move about the cabin by turning off the seat-belt sign. Please keep in mind that items in overhead bins may have shifted during flight, so be cautious when opening them." The plane came to a lurching halt.

Bing. The seat-belt sign went off and the mad dash for the doors began. It didn't take terribly long to de-plane. The wait for customs clearance was less than pleasant as it was uncomfortably warm, and the line moved slowly. However, after a seemingly interminable delay, Alex reached the front of the line.

"Passport, please."

Alex handed over his passport.

"Oh, I know you. You were on the news; you're that missing kid from around here."

"Yes sir," replied Alex, not really wanting to be chatty.

"There you go. Claim your bag, and take your passport and customs forms to where the sign directs you."

"Thank you," said Alex.

Nicky went through exactly the same procedure, only it took twice as long. The non citizens line always moved slowly because everyone was scrutinized far more carefully. Nicky suspected Americans were just a bit paranoid.

After twenty more minutes, Nicky came through and Alex was waiting. "Do you have any checked bags?" asked Alex.

"No, just what I'm carrying."

"Well, I've got mine," so they headed to the carousel. Bag after bag came up the center and onto the carousel. Of course, Alex's bag wasn't one of them. The crowd of people waiting for luggage grew gradually smaller, and still they waited. Finally, when there were only two or three people left, Alex recognized his bag coming over the crest. Damn, that took too long.

"I'm set. Let's clear customs if you're ready," said Alex. Nicky nodded his assent.

Having nothing to declare, they breezed through quickly. Neither was stopped for an inspection. They followed the signs into the greeter's lobby. Alex looked up and saw his parents, who weren't smiling and who were surrounded by many, many reporters.