"So, how's the birthday boy today?" Philip Nevins looked up, as a hand roughly jumbled his carefully placed short red hair, into the faces of the five football players that surrounded him. "You're the last of us to reach sixteen!" Jeff, the ringleader, said.

"You'd better be ready for tonight! We've been waiting for this." "Don't worry, I'll be there." Philip glanced from face to face as he tried to straighten his ruffled locks. "Do you think they'll vote us all in tonight?" "I don't see why not!" Peter answered. As the biggest of the group, he probably had the least to worry about joining. "We've all spent the time at the station, cleaning and polishing all that damm chrome for them. Besides, they did let us train with them Sunday." Philip winced internally. It had been an apparatus familiarization and personal protective equipment class. He was still trying to remember where all the equipment was located on the huge red truck. `And what the hell was a closet hook again?'

"Anyway, let's all meet here after school." Jeff was as eager as the rest of them. "And we'll get to the station early." He winked at Philip, "I'll bring everybody's favorite cheerleader, right, Flip?"

Philip blushed hard. He always did when his school mates called him Flip. He'd gotten the nickname when, as a freshman, he took a classmate's dare and had gone out for the cheerleading squad in front of the whole student body.

His mom had been teaching girls' gymnastics forever and he'd gone along with her to the gym ever since he could walk. She'd finally made him take some organized instruction himself, probably to keep him out of her hair. He'd been disappointed when he found out that the high schools, even in the Houston area, didn't have organized Gymnastics teams. Other sports like football didn't interest him. He liked his knees intact!

So when he took the dare, he suddenly found himself ready to show off what he could do and managed a tumbling run that spanned almost the entire basketball court. Membership to the cheerleading squad had always been a popularity contest and exclusively female, so he'd actually been floored when the student body voted him in. The other members of the squad had hated him initially until they discovered that he could also lift as well as tumble, then they finally accepted him. If the fact he had never asked any of them out bothered them, they didn't let him know it.

He took advantage of being on the squad and in the choir to avoid being at home. He and his mom got along OK and there weren't any real problems with being at home. It was just that he had no real close friends here and he hated being home alone all the time when he wasn't at school. He couldn't drive yet, so he'd just work out or stare at the TV, waiting for what? He seldom got phone calls and had no one to see or call himself.

He'd only had one close friend his entire life, Michael O'Rourke, and they had done everything together through junior high, even though Mike was a year and a half older than he was. They'd even done some sexual experimenting until he'd moved away from West Texas with his mom three years ago. They'd tried to stay in contact, but it grew to be less and less until it finally stopped last year. His feelings for Mike had scared him; he couldn't believe he'd been in love with another boy. So, he'd locked himself away socially and kept his friendships purely business.

When Jeff and the others included him in their plans to join the local volunteer fire department en masse, he'd jumped at it. It would be another reason to stay away from his prison, and he actually got a few phone calls that weren't school related. The minimum age, with parental permission, was sixteen and he'd finally reached that goal. His mom absolutely hated the idea of his joining the department. She thought it was too dangerous and that he couldn't make that kind of commitment, but he'd worn her down to the point she'd signed his release.

His only real fear about the whole thing so far was climbing ladders. It was completely irrational for somebody who had played on rings as a child, but he'd finally admitted to himself that he was afraid of heights. He'd just have to face climbing ladders in the future. Everybody else had to do it and, if they could do it, then he would too.

"OK, so we all set?" Jeff pulled him back to the here and now. "Hey, Flip! Your mom's OK with your spending your birthday with us at the station?"

"Yeah, she's OK with it," Philip smiled back. "We weren't having a party or anything."

Actually she probably would never forgive him for it, but his birthday `celebration' would have just included the two of them. She'd probably pester him about his lack of friends again. That seemed to be one of her favorite subjects to hound him about at meal times. He'd always try to convince her that he did have friends at school, that things were the way he wanted them to be.

"Flip? Can I ask you something?" Peter sat down next to him as the others scattered to their lockers. "What are you doing for your birthday?"

"Going to a fire station!" Philip smiled back at the huge wall of flesh called Peter. "Then hopefully I'll get vot...."

"I know that, dipshit!" Peter rolled his eyes. "I mean afterwards. Don't you have anything planned? I mean, fuck, half the cheerleaders would jump your body in a heartbeat if you'd let them. You never go to any of the dances or parties. Hell, I don't think any of us even know where you live!"

"Yeah, well, I..." Philip shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably, "...I don't date the people I have to work with. It wouldn't work. I guess I'm just not a party person."

"OK, I guess." Peter seemed to accept that answer. "But what about your birthday? You're only sixteen once, don't you want to do anything?"

"No." Philip stood to leave. "It's just another day. Just like when I'd turned fifteen, and fourteen before that. Hey, I'm happy!"

Peter watched as Flip walked out of the cafeteria. None of it made any sense to him, Flip had to be the loneliest `popular' kid he'd ever seen. He shook his head briefly. Everybody seemed to like Flip, but he sure acted like he didn't care or even want them to.

The only time Flip got caught up with the team had been a disaster as far as Peter was concerned. Philip had been dragged into the lockers and shoved under the showers after they won the last game of the season. He'd bolted out the door after giving their center a shiner and had refused to even get on the bus afterwards. He'd started walking back, shivering in his wet clothes, until a booster had taken pity on him and given him a ride. Peter had no doubt that Flip would have walked the entire twenty miles back home that night instead of getting on the bus!

He and Jeff`d had a long talk before they included Flip in their plans. He figured they finally agreed more out of curiosity about the kid who shared the sidelines with them during football season than anything else. But, If they'd hoped to get closer to Flip, it hadn't worked. All they'd learned was his phone number and that he lived close enough to the Fire station to ride his bike there.

Philip was going to be a challenge to know or `really' like. He was so secretive about his life, but Peter had never shied from a challenge before. He was even more determined to find the real Philip Nevins! He'd have to talk with his girlfriend. She was also on the cheerleading squad; maybe she'd know where he could start.

Philip breathed a sigh of relief as he entered the Choir room. It was the last class of the day and a place of refuge for him. He loved to sing; the only time he let his heart show was through the music they performed. When he first joined the choir he had been distressed to find that during the summer between junior and senior high, his voice that had been getting deeper had instead gone back up.

He'd gone from baritone in junior high to a tenor in high school and nothing he could do prevented his voice from finally settling where it did. In the end it had been for the best, he supposed. They had plenty of basses and baritones but had a weak tenor section, so everybody had been happy with his change. His classmates, who'd also made the move with him, had stopped calling him the `ball-less wonder' after they'd met behind the school and he'd knocked one of them out cold.

"OK, ladies and gentlemen..." Mr. Craig, the director, began as Philip found his seat. "...I have an announcement about this year's spring musical." Mr. Craig looked around to make sure everybody was settled. "As you know, in the past the musical was mostly drama- oriented with just a few songs you could help out with. This time, success or failure is going to be up to you. This spring we're going to do 'Jesus Christ Superstar'. For those of you not familiar with it, it is considered a rock opera, almost one hundred percent singing." He let the students take in the news and settle down. "Mrs. Miller and myself will start auditions today during class. I would like all of you to participate."

Philip couldn't help but grin as the class went into the auditorium. He'd been concerned about what he would do to occupy his afternoons now that football season was over. This was definitely an opportunity he couldn't pass up! When he wasn't with the fire department or doing homework, he'd be doing this!

"OK, the last order of business before we continue with training tonight is six applications to consider for membership." The old man, Bill was his name, at the head of the meeting table, looked at Philip and the others. "Would you six please step outside?"

A female at the table, Mary she'd introduced herself as, watched the six boys leave. "Don't worry!" she called after them, "it's just so we can talk bad about you!"

Philip paced nervously back and forth around the red trucks parked in the station. `Don't worry,' she'd said. Hell, he couldn't help but worry! The few bouts of laughter that filtered out the door didn't help one bit; they were taking forever. How long could it take to vote yes or no? All his efforts to get his mom to go along with this came swimming back in his mind. His efforts couldn't have been in vain, but the decision was out of his hands. He looked around at Jeff and the others; they were as nervous as he was. Except Peter, but he was probably just hiding it better. God, it only took three `no' votes and they'd be gone.

"Y'all can come back in now!" Mary called out from the door.

Philip's heart sank as he looked around at the grim faces in the room as they entered. He'd done all he could for nothing!

"I'm sorry!" Bill began, "I have some bad news." He shuffled the applications in front of him. "We voted you in! Welcome to the department! You have my sympathy."

All the faces changed their expressions and began laughing at the momentarily confused youngsters standing in the middle of the room.

"YES!" Philip couldn't contain himself and jumped into the air, slapping Peter on the back. All his time and effort had paid off!

Peter ducked away quickly before he was beaten to death. He was shocked by Flip's reaction, he'd never seen him as happy as he was at that moment. He filed it away in his mind. Flip could be happy if he wanted to be. He could show more than his red headed temper.

"A'right, settle down! Mary will take you all back to the equipment room." Bill looked back at the others in the room. "The rest of you'd better stay awake through this hazmat lecture I'm giving!" He leaned back and smiled at the groans that swept the room. Hazardous Materials wasn't one of the classes they looked forward to, but they'd all pay attention anyway.

Philip quietly shrugged out of the heavy pants and coat he'd been handed. The thick tan synthetic fibers that made up the outer shell were stiff and hard to manage, and the quilted inner liner that made up the ensemble caused him to instantly sweat profusely, but at least they fit and he could still move around pretty freely.

"OK, everybody's got everything, except Flip." Mary smiled at the six boys as they tried to put their gear in some order. Issuing the new people their bunker (Firefighting) gear and uniforms gave her some idea of what condition they were in, how they would do. She thought the department was lucky to have these six boys. All of them were obviously athletic and healthy.

Even Philip (Flip, the others called him), though smaller than the others, would be the subject of her nightly fantasies. Anyone with a thirty inch waist and a forty inch chest was worth fantasizing about. She may be twice their age but she wasn't dead. "We'll order another pair of size ten boots in the morning. That should take care of everybody."

She directed the six back into the apparatus bays and showed them which cubicles would be theirs. She shook her head as she noticed the class had broken up for the night. "God, it's already after ten!" Time to shoo the boys home.

"Beep, beep, beep!" the pagers on everybody's belts raucously tripped, causing the new ones to jump to the sound! "Department nine, engine ninety four! A motor vehicle accident, car versus train...." Philip's heart seemed to stop as he tried to listen to the voice issuing from the small box on his side. The entire atmosphere in the building was suddenly transformed. Bill, Mary, and the other two members who were on the schedule to respond that night, instantly jumped to their gear. Philip saw their street shoes go flying as each stepped into their boots and pulled up their pants, which had been gathered around the boots, and slipped their arms through the red suspenders.

Bill jumped into the driver's position of the huge red truck and pushed the start button, bringing the four hundred horsepower diesel to life. "We have space for two more!" He leaned out and looked at the six boys. They didn't have any training to speak of, but there was always more to do than they had people for.

"Go ahead, birthday boy!" Philip felt himself pushed towards his gear by the others as Jeff struggled into his as best as he could. Philip wanted to go, but, "I don't have any boots!"

"Just get your coat, gloves, and helmet!" Bill yelled, his command would brook no arguments. "Get your ass in the truck!"

"Engine ninety four enroute with six!" Philip heard Bill's voice over the open pager frequency as he pulled himself into the four-door cab of the engine and settled into the backwards facing jumpseat. He glanced around at the others, feeling naked in his lack of complete gear. It felt like the knots in his stomach were doing somersaults of their own as the brakes were released and, with sirens wailing, they thundered into the night. He'd seen fire trucks all his life, been fascinated by them. The feeling of riding in one put him into sensory overload. He wanted to wave at all the cars as they passed. `Look at me!' he screamed to himself. The adrenaline pumping through his head made him feel giddy. The barely heard radio, giving further instructions to the engine crew he was now part of, brought him back to the reality of why they were there.

"My name's Terry!" Philip looked at the man sitting across from him and shook the proffered hand.

"Welcome to the madhouse!" Terry winked at the keyed-up youngster. "Oh, and happy birthday!" He loved being around rookies. Their fresh-faced reactions reminded him of why they were there doing this for free in the first place. Besides, they were fun to tease when they were back at the station. "Listen to Mary! She's in charge, just do what she tells you!"

"Engine ninety four on scene with the medic!" Philip saw the ambulance pull up behind the truck as they exited. His breathing came in a ragged gasp as he saw the shredded remains of the car wrapped around the tree where it had been thrown by the locomotive. He was certain that anyone in the car would be dead and wasn't sure he wanted to go up there.

"One's still alive! Flip, come here!" Mary saw the hesitation. "Don't worry, it's not going to blow up! That only happens in movies!" She led the boy to the rear of the car. "We're going to cut the driver out! I need you to crawl in the back seat and hold his head still for us. Think you can do that?"

Philip thought he would faint when the beam of Mary's flashlight picked up the disemboweled girl he would have to share the back seat with. He quickly blocked out any other thoughts and nodded yes. He had to keep his mind on his orders.

He carefully slipped headfirst between the door sill and the flattened roof of the car. The face shield on his helmet kept fogging up as he quickly adjusted the damned thing so it wouldn't slip on his head again. The seat and floorboard were wet as his knees and hightops squished into them. He quickly grabbed the driver's head and neck with both hands and ducked his head as the engine crew started working on the remains of the car.

The groaning sound of tearing metal, followed by loud `pops' as it gave way, filled his numbed ears. Philip silently prayed that they would hurry up. His stomach was getting queasy. He took another deep breath, this time through his nose, and immediately lost control of his stomach as it emptied its contents over the inside of the car. The stench of death from the other passengers that shared the cramped space with him flowed into his nostrils.

Finally he felt, rather than saw, the roof of the wreck lifted away from him. Someone wiped his mouth for him as his dry heaves continued and he held the head steady through it all.

The rest of the rescue process was lost on him as he continued to do what he'd been told until the patient was loaded on the backboard.

"OK, kid, you can let go now!" The paramedic pushed Philip out of the way and placed the board and patient onto the stretcher. "Are you new?" he asked the shaky youth.

"Yes!" Philip swallowed back another wave of stomach acid.

"Good!" The medic wanted some help and to teach. Besides, the kid was already a mess and he didn't see a need for anyone else to get that way. "I want you to ride in with me to help out." He redirected his voice as the patient was loaded in the back and he helped Philip up. "Mary! We're gon'a take your new boy with us! We'll drop him off at the station."

"How, how's he doing?" Philip asked as he watched the paramedic work with ease in the back of the bouncing ambulance. He had been listening very carefully as the medic had explained where everything was located and what he was doing as he did it.

"Get me some more sterile four by fours!" The medic waited while Philip grabbed what was asked for. "I don't know. He's got a slim chance of living. I'd bet his left leg is a goner, though. I think he left most of it all over the tree!"

Philip shuddered as he glanced at the unconscious face of the patient. He didn't recognize him, thankfully, but he looked about the same age as Philip. He wondered if the guy was from around there and if he was, which of the three high schools he went to. He barely noticed the patient report being read by the medic he was with. His adrenaline was fading away rapidly, being replaced by a profound fatigue. A year ago, if anyone had told him he'd be here doing what he'd done, he'd have told them they were crazy. Now he didn't know how he would ever be able to do anything else!

When they arrived at the ER, the medics told him to wait outside while they took the patient in. He was too messy to go in standing up, one of them joked. Philip looked himself over and felt his legs go weak. He swore his whole body was covered in blood and puke. The puke was his, but the blood he didn't want to think about. He felt strange, though. The first thing he thought of was his mother's reaction to him if he went home like he was. He let a slight smile through his conflicting emotions. She'd be a basket case!

"Come over here, kid!" the medic who'd driven said as he walked to the corner of the entrance. "The decon shower is over here."

Philip trotted over obediently and stood over a drain where he was told. The ambulance crewman had a set of blue paper-looking coveralls in one gloved hand, a towel and large red bag that said `Biohazard' in the other.

"I want you to strip and put all your stuff in the bag." He looked the shocked boy over. "Is your wallet in your pocket?" He reached around and retrieved it from Philip's back pocket. "Well, at least that's clean!"

"Out here?" Philip glanced around the area. It was open to the whole parking lot. Some hospital staff and patient families were casually watching them as they smoked outside.

"Yes, out here! I've got'a get you clean before I can clean the unit." The driver blew out his breath impatiently. "We don't have time for you to be bashful. Get on with it!"

Philip could feel the gazes of the others burning through him as piece by piece his gear and clothes found their way into the red bag. He bitterly hoped they were enjoying his impromptu show as much as he was hating it. He hadn't let anyone see him undressed for three years. Even as a cheerleader, he'd always waited until he got home to shower. Hell, he'd even been able to avoid doctors for longer than that. He felt his whole body flush as he stepped out of his boxers. The dusting of freckles on his face that trailed over his shoulders seemed to glow brighter in the fluorescent lights. The sudden deluge of freezing water brought him out of his morose thoughts. "FUCK!"

"Here!" The medic handed him a green bottle, laughing. "It's an antiseptic solution. Scrub yourself with it, then stay under the water for at least ten minutes. There's a towel and a gown to wear. I'm gon'a start on the unit."

Philip stood, miserable, under the cold water and did as instructed. If anyone ever asked him to ride along in another ambulance, he knew what his answer would be. Not only no, but hell no!

"You did good tonight, Flip!" the ambulance driver yelled to Philip as he walked back into the station, carrying the red bag along. "See you later, hot stuff!" He and his partner began laughing again. "I think that's the first time we ever saw multiple nurse orgasms!"

"So, did they let you use the regular shower or the decon?" Bill watched the boy walk into the station wearing the paper coveralls. "Take your stuff around to the washing machine."

"What regular show...." Philip felt his eyes go wide. Those bastards!

"Don't worry, those guys have pulled the same thing on every swinging dick in the department." Bill grinned at the look he got back from the kid. It was priceless. "Just remember, next time, there is a regular shower behind a door that's behind the decon station." He looked at his watch; it was just after midnight. "Just dump your stuff in the big machine, the stainless steel one." He followed behind to show Philip the machine he was talking about and to help. "We'll clean it for you. You can pick it up tomorrow."

"I can stay and do that," Philip began.

"No, it's a school night. You need to get home." Bill continued to smile at the rookie. They would live at the station full time if allowed. "Jeff waited to give you a ride."

"He shouldn't have." Philip looked longingly back out the doors into the night, suddenly broken by a dull rumble. "I was going to walk."

"Well, in case you can't remember, you're wearing paper right now." Bill glanced at Philip. He thought the six boys were all good friends. Was there a problem? He'd have to watch them closer, the department was too strapped for members to lose any over some stupid personal squabbles. "Besides, it looks like it might rain. I don't think your wardrobe would hold up too well."

Philip shrugged his shoulders and padded in his bare feet to the meeting room door. He really didn't want to accept the ride, but Jeff had waited and he felt he wasn't up to another fight just then. All his earlier excitement was gone, but he still felt keyed up, yet very tired at the same time. He let out a resigned sigh as he opened the door and prepared to wake his schoolmate up. "Jeff?"

"You ready to g...." Jeff was wide awake and pacing the room with nervous energy. "Where are your clothes?"

"They got a little messed up," Philip yawned. "Can we go?"

When they pulled up in the driveway of Philip's home, they saw the lights still on.

"Shit!" Philip knew his mom would be up waiting for him. "I hoped she'd be asleep by now!"

"You want me to go in with you?" Jeff was surprised by the second wave of fear that crossed Flip's eyes. "Maybe I can take some of the heat off."

"No!" Philip said quickly as he stepped out into the slight drizzle that had started.

"I'll take care of it. Later!" It was bad enough they would know where he lived. There was no way he would let any of them get close enough to actually see his private world; chances are they would hate what they saw and hate him for it.

"Later!" Jeff echoed as he pulled away. Well, now he knew where Flip called home. He still was concerned. What the hell was so secret? It couldn't be his mom. Jeff had met her during a parents' night at school. She seemed to be a nice caring lady to him. She obviously loved Flip, she was there, after all. Peter had told him of his plan to ferret out what he could. He wasn't sure that was such a good idea, but had to admit he was also curious about the kid who always gave one hundred percent at his school activities but limited his involvement to only those activities. A chill went up his spine. Flip hadn't batted an eye when Lucy, one of the cheerleaders, walked up to them in the cafeteria and told Flip that his problem was he `didn't know how to love, was incapable of love!' At the time they had laughed it off as just being a spurned female, but now Jeff wasn't so sure. He'd have to join Peter and see where it led them. He did like Flip, after all; if only he wouldn't make it so difficult!

"Philip! do you know what time it is!" Margaret Nevins intercepted her son as he tried to quietly pad into the house. "What were you...Where are your clothes?"

"Ugh, they needed cleaning so I left them at the station." Philip was brought up short by his mom. He quickly turned his head away; it looked like she'd been crying! "I'm sorry I'm so late. I made my first run tonight." He wished his mom would share some of his earlier joy in that fact.

"I heard the sirens." Deep down she was proud of him, but there was also a deep hurt in her. She was always around other people's children at work. She'd hoped that she would be a bigger part of her son's life at home; but if she yearned to have a house full of her son's friends, enjoying their company and highjinks, she was sorely disappointed. He'd told her when they moved three years ago, that he didn't want to go and he wouldn't make any new friends. So far it seemed that his half-Irish, half-German stubbornness and temper had succeeded in doing just that. The only times she'd been called to the school had been to pick him up after some fight or another. Her son was missing out on his life and she didn't know what to do about it.

"Who brought you home?" She tried another tack.

"Jeff did," Philip stated cautiously. "He joined tonight as well."

"Why didn't you invite him in?" She'd remembered meeting him in the past. She regretted her question, though, when Philip stiffened up.

"It's one o'clock." Philip smiled to soften his reaction. "He needed to get home. We've got school tomorrow."

"OK, get on to bed." She closely watched her son slip past her and proceed to his room."You know, we could still have a party this weekend, if you want to invite Jeff and some of your other school friends."

"No. that's OK," Philip called back without turning. "I don't like parties."

She so wanted to slap him upside his head when he acted the way he was now, force him to get on with his life. His attitude frustrated her immensely, but she couldn't live his life for him.

Philip quietly shed the silly looking coveralls and lay on his bed, closing his eyes. At least she hadn't brought up his relationship with Michael. It had been a shock when he'd heard that Mike was gay. He'd come out in front of the whole town back in November. After that, he'd heard nothing more from his old friend's family or from Mike. They still hadn't spoken for a year. If Mike was gay, what did that make him?

He smiled as the night's events replayed through his mind. The faces of the victims he'd been with were sharp and clear, blotting out all his other thoughts. God help him, he loved it! If he didn't want to face the thought he might be gay, he embraced the fire department. He was well aware that the joy he felt was based on other people's tragedy, but if bad things were going to happen, he wanted to be there. He rolled over and rummaged in the sack he'd brought in with him. He quickly placed the pager and its charger on his night stand and plugged it in. He found solace in the brotherhood he'd joined that night. Being a Firefighter wasn't something he wanted to do. It was what he wanted to be!