Note: All Thai words and phrases have been spelled so the reader can pronounce them
correctly. Other methods of transliteration may vary.
_______________________________________________________________________

OK, Jimmy thought to himself. He says he's going to keep holding me. I love that idea. He
seems to really want to do it, too. Jesus.

Although lost in wonderment, Jimmy wasn't so far gone that he'd forgotten where he was.

Same sidewalk, all right. He's in my lap. A dream come true.

But the dreams he'd had of being in situations like this had never included his legs falling asleep
underneath him. And the dreams always seemed to just transport him somewhere else. He'd
never really thought about the logistical necessities involved with dreams coming true.

And his "Dreamboy" wasn't helping very much.

"Ummm. OK, now. We're gonna get moving, here. I gotta get you someplace..."

The boy tightened his grip when he felt Jimmy shifting around underneath him. As Jimmy
started to position himself for getting onto his knees, he was still connected to the boy, but
naturally wasn't just grabbing onto him at the moment. After all, the boy had just been shifted
out of Jimmy's lap, back onto the sidewalk!

The boy started shaking again.

"OK, now, OK. I'm just gonna get up. Then I'm gonna help you get up, too. OK? Just getting
off the ground. OK?"

"But I... I am holding on. You said that I can hold on!" The boy wasn't whispering now. He
was panicking.

Jimmy stopped getting up for a moment. "You can hold on. It's OK, really! You can hold on
when we get up, too. OK?"

The boy propped himself up, one hand on the ground behind him, facing Jimmy. And he looked
at Jimmy. Really looked AT Jimmy. And his eyes got wider. With surprise! And so the pair of
them ended up sitting facing each other, holding on with one arm each, and their lower bodies so
close together that their legs were entwined.

"This IS America! You are American, yes?"

Jimmy was becoming aware just how out of it this kid was...

"Uhh, yeah, I'm American..."

"But you are not a man. You are young."

"Uh-huh" was all that Jimmy could think of to say in response.

"You are so strong! I thought you had... you have...you are having... more age than you do..."

Jimmy pondered `having more age'. Oh! The boy just realized that I'm younger than he
thought! I get it!

"I'm not really all that strong..."

"Oh yes. Sorry..."

The boy glanced downwards a little. After all, he wasn't used to contradicting anybody so
directly. "You are very strong! I did not fall. You said I can hold on! And I did. Hold on,
yes...?"

"Well, no. Actually you fell down. You dropped your books all over the place, and you kind of
collapsed."

The boy glanced around himself for the first time. He was surprised to see all those books and
papers scattered around them. And truly saw that he and this strong young man were sitting on
the ground.

"Sorry. What is the meaning of this word, `collapsed', please, na krap?"

"Ummm..." Thinking furiously, Jimmy wondered why the boy was talking about crops all of a
sudden.

"Umm..." Don't look confused, dummy. He'll think you're deaf or stupid or something...

He decided to go with what he HAD understood.

"'Collapsed' means you fell down, like you couldn't keep walking or something. First, you
stopped walking. You were just standing there, and then you dropped all your stuff and fell over.
Maybe you fainted..."

"Excuse me, na krap, but what is the meaning of `fainted?'"

Crops again. That must mean something else in his language. Never mind that now. How could
he define `fainted' so it really explained it?

"'Fainted' means, like, umm... you, know, `fainted'" Lame brain. Idiot. Can't think of a
thing, can ya...

"May I look for my dictionary, please? That book helps me understand English better..."

"Great, good idea! You got a dictionary here in these books? Lemme look around for it..."

Neither boy stopped holding on to each other, but they were both able to scrabble around in the
pile, and the boy came up with it. One-handed! He put it on the "shared lap" which now existed
between them.

"Please, na krap. Find this word and show me. I can read it in Thai and understand you, krap."
He looked expectantly at Jimmy.

"OK, let's see here..."

Jimmy read the cover: DICTIONARY
Thai-English
English-Thai

And then there were some squigglies underneath, in the same gold leaf on the black background
of the book cover.

Huh... That must be Thai (???) Huh. `Thai.' Ya woulda thought they'd call it `Taiwanese'.
But this IS shorter. Ok, then.... Thai....
.
He started looking through the book.

Oh, I get it! The book's got two halves! OK! I look up `fainted'. Jimmy began thumbing
through the beginning pages of the dictionary, sort of getting his bearings. He found beautiful
little squiggles with flourishes and interesting shapes. With English words afterward. OK, dude,
you get this! Go to the second part of the book! That should start with the English and he can
read the squiggles!

Jimmy flipped to the back of the book, starting to read the English words in the upper margins,
just like he'd done with a regular dictionary. Well, he'd done it occasionally, at least!

Whadda we got here? OK, `young'. Backwards... `Stammer' Keep going `molecule" Jeez,
there are sure a LOT of squiggles after that word. Keep going backwards.

`Helmet'. Almost, go forward a bit. `Foundation'. Back a little. `Familiar' Close!! F-a-
i--- Got it! Yeah!

He had been intent on his task, and looked up with a smile. "Faint. Look, here it is!" He turned
the dictionary around (all still one-handed, of course) and pointed down the column of words to
the right one.

The boy had been studying Jimmy while Jimmy'd been studying the book. So he flushed a little
as his eyes jumped down to the page on `their' lap. His lips moved as he sounded out the word
for himself.

`Faint.' There were two of them. One was an adjective; it couldn't be "vaguely outlined" that
this American boy meant, could it? His eyebrows knit together along with his heightened
concentration.

No, here was a verb. Faint. Fainted. He read the word to himself. Then his eyes got wide as he
was startled by the word in Thai and the concept it finally conveyed to him.

"OH!" And he looked around himself with new eyes.

"Did I really fainted? Err. Faint?" He wanted to get the grammar correct. He didn't want to
appear uneducated to this wonderful young man.

"I think maybe, yeah..."

Jimmy could see the boy try to get his head around that.

"Oye. Faint-ed. I fainted!"

Jimmy thought he'd heard a classic Jewish expression, with the. `Oye'. As in, `oye vey!' Sortta
like `Oh, my God'.

Is he Jewish? That's it, asshole. Sure, he's a Jewish farmer. "oye vey, my crops..."

Oh no, I don't understand any of this!! But for the first time in perhaps years, his mind didn't
simply shut down with anxiety.

"Umm... Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, naa-nohn... sorry, of course!"

The two youths were getting used to speaking together a bit better. Even though they seemed
equally unaware that each one of them had an arm-lock on the other, and their knees and lower
legs seemed joined now.

By this time, Jimmy understood that the boy sometimes said a word in his own language and
then changed it to English, out loud.

Thank God I get that, now, at least!

Which gave him the confidence to ask his question:

"Umm... Like, what's your name? I'm in all your classes at school but... ummm... I forget what
you said your name was that day in Social Studies.... I'm really sorry, man, but... ummm..."
Jimmy's voice trailed off in embarrassment. He blushed a deep scarlet red.

"Oh! I am sorry, also. Of course, I should have..." The boy flushed an interesting shade of red
himself. Which blended with his olive colored skin very nicely, Jimmy thought, as he looked
back up himself.

They became self-conscious as they tried to maintain eye and body contact, shyer than before.
The boy even started to pull away from Jimmy. A purely reflexive action, which he noticed
himself doing with alarm and corrected immediately.

Jimmy observed the boy's subtle muscle actions and body language. He REALLY noticed the
boy's renewed grip as he moved back in towards Jimmy, too. Jimmy was vastly relieved. He
REALLY didn't want to lose the physical connection. The two looked at each and smiled for the
first time.

"I am called Sakjai." He paused and said it again emphasizing each of the syllables. "Sak---jai."

Jimmy was listening as intently as he knew how. He wanted to get it right. "Sahk---jai?'

Sakjai smiled as he said, "Almost perfect. "'Sak' is very correct. But not `jai?' It is `jai."
You see? Sakjai."

Jimmy thought he'd said it exactly the same way just now. He heard no distinction at all, except
that he'd asked it as a question. But he repeated it again, very hopefully, too: "Sahk---jai." He
said it as declarative, and didn't raise his voice at the end like he usually did when he was asking
a question. And then he said it again, for himself, "Sakjai."

"Perfect! You have the perfect tone now! You're the first one in America to say it correctly!
Geng Mahk! Oh, excuse me, very smart, also!"

Sakjai was beaming as he flashed those beautiful black eyes at.....

At whom?

"Very sorry, na krap, but I do not remember you from the school. Please excuse me that I did
not know you already. But what is your name, also?" He was blushing again, but Sakjai bravely
kept eye contact.

"Oh! Right. Sorry I forgot to tell you, too. My name is Jimmy..uhm... sorry... It's Jim. My
name is Jim." And he smiled too, despite almost slipping terribly into his childish old name
when it was most important not to!

"'Jim.' Your name is Jim, really?" He was blushing again, but for the first time with a small
grin on his face. He tried unsuccessfully to stop it, but ended up just biting his lower lip while he
kept trying to stop himself from a full-fledged smile

"Yeah, it's `Jim'. What's wrong with that?" He wasn't angry, though. It was more like taken by
surprise at Sakjai's reaction. If he hadn't remembered me at all, how can he have a problem with
`Jim' instead of `Jimmy' like everybody else did?

"Nothing wrong with your name! Very sorry, but that word has different meaning in my
language. It is not a name for a person..." and started grinning again, so he hid it behind the open
palm of his hand. But Jimmy could see Sakjai's eyes crinkled up as he grinned.

"Oh..." Jimmy was disappointed, but a little relieved at the same time. "What does `Jim' mean
in (he swiftly glanced down at the dictionary title) Thai?"

Sakjai couldn't repress a giggle. "I cannot speak this word!!" He shook his head, blushing
furiously, but now also giggling, despite himself. He tried to stop, but he felt so good with the
American boy that he was almost giddy from it all. After all, it was his first actual conversation
with anybody since his arrival more than a month ago!! Talking with his auntie wasn't the same
thing as really speaking WITH somebody like this.

"No, really, tell me. I want to know! Is it that funny really?" Jimmy couldn't help smiling too.

"It means, err... it means.. No!! I cannot!! Very not polite..." And he laughed out loud.

What a gorgeous laugh, Jimmy thought as he grinned back.

"Come on, help me here, dude! It's my name! You can't run around laughing at it like this!
This is awful!" But now he was giggling, too.

Sakjai was really trying not to laugh, but the noises kept leaking from his lips...

"OK, I will try to say this word." He took a deep breath, and tried to hold it. But the laughter
burst out again. His grip on Jimmy's arm was just as tight, and he leaned toward Jimmy as he
giggled.

"Come on, just SAY it, will ya?" He was giggling now, couldn't stop himself either!

"Yes. The word. (He took another deep breath to stop laughing, which worked this time) The
word means...

Oh, NO!! I do not know this word in English!!..."

Sweet laughter flowed unguardedly out of both boys now. It bonded them in a new way. And
just at the same time exactly, each looked at the other and said:

"DICTIONARY!!!!!!"

They were both amazed as they enjoyed the spontaneity. They fell into each other, gurgling at
the same time as Sakjai tried to leaf through the book with one hand.

Funny that neither of them had noticed that being `one-handed' was now normal between them.
And holding onto each other wasn't strange at all. Letting go the physical touch would have
seemed much more strange to both of them. They'd never spoken together without touching.

Sakjai flipped pages rapidly in the first half of the book, looking for the word in Thai. He found
it pretty quickly, even though there were twice as many letters in his language than there were in
English. The dictionary was a familiar tool for him; he'd used it a lot for a long time now.

His finger moved down the column of words. Found the right one. As he turned the book
around for Jimmy to read where he was pointing, he was giggling again. That made it hard to
keep his finger in place!

"Which one is it? Come on, shooow me!" Giggling right along with Sakjai.

Sakjai was attempting to point at the right word, but his long, thin finger was shaking as he tried
not to laugh. With an un-self-conscious movement, Jimmy took Sakjai's hand and tried to hold
the finger steady as he looked.

Jimmy read what he saw, out loud

.................."Vagina".

"Vagina??"

"NO! Jim can't mean vagina, really?? It isn't!" Jimmy was shocked, but it still WAS funny,
wasn't it?

"No! Not exactly the same.... (Jimmy was looking a little hopeful) More bad than this word.
Err... Do Americans have any slang expressions for this word?"

"Slang? Slang for vagina. Ya mean like, `pussy' or somethin' like that?"

Sakjai now remembered seeing `pussy' in the name of some of the bars in Patpong, one of the
most famous Red Light District in Bangkok. He always thought it had something to do with
cats. But he'd never really thought about it.

"Yes. `Pussy'. 100% perfect!!...." Laughing continued between them, punctuating their
conversation.

"So I said my name was `Jim', and you thought I was called, `Pussy'??!"

"YES!!" The boys seemed to really enjoy collapsing into each other's arms as they giggled and
gurgled away...

"Oh God, I can't keep that name now... I'll laugh whenever I say it ... `My name is Jim'... Oh,
shit, no! Can't do that!!"

Both of them seemed to run down at about the same time, leaning into each other. Holding onto
each other as they regained their breath.

Jimmy sat up again, still smiling as he said, "So we gotta come up with another name for me.
Right? I wanna have a decent (whoomphing noises from Sakjai...) name. No, really, Sakjai, ya
gotta help me with this name thing!"

Sakjai was sitting up now himself. He became suddenly very serious.

"You said my name again. Perfect tone! Thank you!!"

And with that, tears began to roll down Sakjai's cheeks and he started blinking his eyes rapidly
to try and stop it.

"Course I wanna say your name right. It's your NAME, man. Ya know? I really want to get it
right. Every time I say it. OK? No big deal..."

Sakjai just gazed into Jimmy's eyes. The flood-gates opened wide.

"Sakjai." Jimmy was careful about not using that rising tone of voice, even though that was how
he'd always asked a question. "Sakjai".

Jimmy was worried that the boy would begin to lose it again. He'd already watched Sakjai sort
of come back to his body or something.

Keep him focused outside of himself. That had worked before. Keep him talking.

"Don't cry anymore, OK? You're gonna get ME started here. Come on! Help me think about
my name! (He changed his voice to a low register) `Hello, my name is Pussy' I can't go around
sayin that all the time. Help me with this, cancha?"

"Yes, I will try... But I am only very happy. I am doing this...(gesturing at his watery cheeks,
not able to think of the word for it) ...because it is so beautiful to hear you say my name..."

"But yes. I can stop. Errr... Do you have more nicknames? Sorry, that ---word--- is a
nickname, yes?"

"Yeah, it's a nickname. Pretty lousy one, as it turns out. No other nicknames now. Only baby
ones. I was `Jimmy' when I was a little kid. I don't like it anymore..."

"Of course. No baby names would be proper. Not Jimmy. Not that...other...word. (Smiling
through the end of the flood) Errr... What is your nahm-ching?"

"My what?"

"Excuse me, again, please. Very sorry I keep saying Thai words. I am thinking in Thai, and
then I try to remember the English word. Sometimes I forget to speak the translation, so I say
the Thai word only... `Nahm-ching' is... err... your proper name, I think? Not any nicknames.
What is your true name?"

"My true name. Oh, that's La Roq. But that's not the problem here, right?"

"Not the same, no. La Roq is your family name, yes? La Roq..." He said it again so he would
remember it correctly, too.

"Ummm... yeah, that's my second name. The name of my family. Right. So whaddaya mean
about my true name?"

"Not the family name. Not a nickname for your first..."

The lightbulb flashed on over Jimmy's head! "James! It's James!"

Sakjai said it himself, but it came out sounding like it didn't have the "s" on the end.

"Your true name is Jame?"

"Yeah, James".

"Jame-sss" He had to kind of hiss the "s" on the end. It didn't come naturally to him. He tried it
again.

"Jame..s" It came out more than `Jame' but not quite a full "James" either. Jimmy thought it
sounded cool, the way Sakjai said it.

Sakjai tried it again. "'Jame-s' OH! Beautiful name!! Really, a very strong name. `Jame-s"
There is a very famous rock star in my country. His name is James! His music is beautiful, and
he is very handsome, like you. Very good name! `James' YES!"

Jimmy was surprised. "There's an American rock star in Taiwan?"

Now Sakjai was confused. "Taiwan? No, not Taiwan. I mean in MY country, in Thailand."

"Oh, right. Thailand. Not Taiwan. Thai-LAND." Blush, huge blush... Move it right along
here, dude...

"So there's an American rock star?"

"No! He is Thai, 100%. But he likes the name James, so it is a famous name now. Beautiful
music, and very handsome. Same as you!"

Handsome? Was that what he just heard?

Inside his head, James put the names `Jim' and `Jimmy' into the recycle bin. He was now
James.

He knew somehow that he could make people understand that he was simply, `James'.

Out loud, he said:

"OK. James it is. You like it. I love it. My name is James."

Sakjai smiled.

The boys sat there in the afternoon sunshine, just smiling now. And gazing into each other's
eyes.