Carlo's Way

A Sanitaria Springs Story

By Dabeagle

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I glanced at my watch, pulled on the bottom of my light jacket, and sat down on the park bench. I pulled out my phone and texted Micah that I was at our meeting spot and took in the people and nature of the park around me. I crossed my legs, one knee over the other in a way men thought of as feminine. I picked imaginary lint from my lightweight pegged chinos that let the light breeze surround my ankles, and I glanced at my leather loafers. They had a nice clean look, not the style that had tassels – I really don't like tassels on anything. My outfit was rounded out with a thin turtleneck sweater covered by my light, square cut jacket.

I never used to pay attention to my clothes so much, but I admit I like dressing up a little, and spending the day with Micah was reason enough to dress up a little. That was one thing I'd really loved about meeting Hunter this past fall; self-care was so important.

I like my family – well, maybe I tolerate my older sister – but other than that, I have it pretty good. My parents work too much at the family restaurant, and we all put in hours there. My brother Dominic is a really decent human, which isn't always easy to find. He's not demonstrative, but he lets me know he's got my back by never hanging out with people that wouldn't welcome me. For instance, the people on his sports teams – if they're jerks to me, he won't hang out with them or invite them over. He's gotten into a couple of scuffles on my behalf, but nothing too crazy. He's a good brother. I try to be there for him in ways I'm good at – like interpersonal stuff.

He and I are fraternal twins. While we have some familial features, we're plainly not identical. Despite having a twin, I was still a bit lonely in the family – or really, it was hard to relate to anyone. My parents didn't care about my orientation and never treated me better or worse; the worst I can say is they're a little absent, with the family business to think of. My grandparents fret over my sexuality; I don't think they understand, but they love me. My parents explained that it's a generational thing, and I can't say I get it. Dominic dated, but I haven't. Our sister also dated, but I haven't found a single one of her boyfriends interesting. As much as Dominic tried, I've been missing out in a way I couldn't really pin down.

I mean, except for the whole 'wanting to date' thing. I wasn't that interested in anyone at our school – at least not for more than a few very intimate minutes. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I'm a snob, if I'm hiding so I don't get turned into some emotional train wreck by a crush on a straight – oh, well, excepting Micah. He's a special case.

Then Hunter came along. I'd followed his Insta for a while, so I was really a little nervous when I met him in the clothing store where he worked during school breaks. In person he wasn't like his videos, because there he did photo shoots where he dressed up and created backdrops to go with them. In the videos he leaned a bit into acting more fruity than a lot of people could tolerate. That's what I'd been missing, though.

I was definitely fruity, and everyone knew it. It hadn't been easy. Some boys could fool other people into thinking they were 'normal' and then get left alone, or if they got picked on it wasn't for that. I never had that option, so I was always defending myself. I was a walking stereotype in some ways – girls were my main friends, though that also had its limits, and I didn't play sports. I could go on, but why? As I was saying, Hunter changed all that.

Hunter taught me how to embrace whoever I felt I was in the moment. Not directly. He didn't advise me, not like a therapist. What he did was lead by example and invite me along. He had a great relationship with his boyfriend, Caleb, and he did things a lot of guys still get stupid about – like skin care or trying to dress like your mom didn't buy all your clothes. Hunter could get really excited, and he didn't give a fuck who knew it. He'd have me out with him and Caleb at a yard sale or flea market or donation type store, like Goodwill, to pick up weird things he could craft into costumes – and he'd lose it. He'd find something he decided was perfect, and the whole store knew it. That didn't happen all the time, but I liked how free he felt to act that way whenever.

Caleb just smiled at such things, completely unaffected by anything other than Hunter. I hadn't seen either of them in over a month; they were coming to town with the nice weather and a long weekend. As it happened, Micah was coming down too.

Micah is probably my best guy friend. I had a crush on him once – well, I still do. He's a strange mix of confident and completely clueless that I find endearing. He also likes me for me. Usually it would be me, Micah and Dominic hanging out together, mostly because we were all around at the same time, but there were times – like today – where he and I were hanging out while Dominic had a driving lesson with our Dad going on. This time I'd asked if he'd like to join me in hanging out with Hunter and Caleb, and he'd been happy to.

Micah was growing up so nice. His shoulders were getting wider; his smile wasn't the shy, hurt boy I'd first met. His confidence gave him an air of maturity he probably didn't deserve – I mean, did any of us? Really? As far as I was concerned, that would come in its own time. But one thing that set Micah apart from other guys was how knowing so many gay people had informed who he was and how he treated people. Micah and I didn't have a whole lot in common – like I wasn't into the working out like he'd gotten into – though I did appreciate his gains and the occasional thirst trap he'd posted. I didn't play sports, but I liked to watch. We liked some of the same movies and shows, and he was easy to talk with. He could hold a conversation, and you never felt like he was ignoring you.

If only he were gay.

I glanced across the walking path in front of me and over the grass divide to the basketball courts, where a game was being played. It looked like a four on four, but they weren't playing that hard. Probably just enjoying being outside, and I'd guess all the running kept them warm enough. My phone shook, and I checked the screen. Micah was nearly there. I sent a quick message to Hunter to let him know Micah would be joining me soon.

“Game!” one of the basketball boys called out, and there were some indistinct noises from the players. A few sat down on the court, a couple others wandered about, drinking from water bottles. One was ambling in my direction, looking at his phone. I glanced down the pathway to see if Micah was approaching, but nothing yet. I glanced at my screen, like I'd have missed Micah texting. When I glanced up I was a little surprised that the basketball boy was nearly in front of me. He sat down on the other end of the bench.

“They need benches by the courts,” he commented.

“You'd think someone would have thought of that,” I replied.

“Right? Seems obvious.” He glanced at me. “Guessing you didn't come to hoop?”

I shook my head and gave him a polite smile. “I like sports, but just to watch. I'm meeting a friend here.”

“Oh.”

I wasn't sure what to make of his tone, but to mask my mild confusion, I glanced at my watch, then pulled out my lip balm. It's a nervous habit.

“So...you don't play at all then? Any sports?”

Surprised he was continuing this awkward conversation, I replied, “I like to dance, and I do color guard. I like how graceful an athlete can be, but I don't really enjoy playing. Besides, I'm not very good at sports.”

“Oh, well, I could show you....” He trailed off, and I turned a bit to look at him. He was pleasant to look at – tall, a little thin, with light brown hair, longer in the front so there was this big flop that fell nicely across his forehead. His eyes were a vibrant shade of green. He tossed his head, and his hair moved off his forehead but began moving back a strand or two at a time.

“Well, I know how to play,” I said, trying to clarify. “But it's one of those things I'm not good at, so I don't enjoy it. Like I said, I can appreciate it. I just can't do it.” I swiped imaginary dust from my knee. “Besides. Sporty boys generally don't tolerate fruity boys like me.”

His cheeks took on some color, and he looked at me, seemingly losing some of his awkwardness. “That's shitty. I wouldn't do that.”

“Well, obviously not you,” I said with a smile, my stomach fluttering. “But there's probably a few of those over on the court now that would have things to say. I don't have time for that energy.”

He bobbed his head. “Yeah, definitely. Most of those guys...I think they'd be okay.”

I uncrossed my legs, curious now about this fellow. “No, they wouldn't.” I couldn't stop a bitter smile from crossing my lips. “I'd only have to open my mouth once, and they would be looking at each other and laughing at me. Just giggles to start, because they aren't brave. Someone would go farther and start making comments about how I talk, how I walk or how I breathe. I'd be ridiculed and picked last if I was picked at all.” I glanced at the court and the boys who were tossing the ball around, laughing, yelling a bit and getting ready to start playing again. “No. It's not a place for me.”

Quietly he asked, “Then...where?”

A ball hit the backboard, bounced off the rim and headed for the grass. I turned toward him slightly. “What?”

He cleared his throat. “If you're not...if not over there, then where? What place is for you?”

I turned and gave him a more genuine smile. “You mean with sports? I like watching the games. My brother plays a lot of sports, and I watch his games sometimes. We watch with our dad sometimes, and also with my grandfather. I like sports, just not to play.”

He clasped his hands together, his forearms on his knees, and he bobbed his head. “Yeah. I can understand not wanting to be where you don't feel welcome. I, uh, wouldn't be like that.”

What was up with this boy? I wondered. “Plainly not, since you're here talking to me instead of over there.” I paused as suspicion filled my mind. “Why are you here? Talking to me.”

He straightened up a bit, and his cheeks filled with color. I was struck with how pretty his face was with a blush.

“Well. Seemed like the best time, I guess,” he said.

I shifted a bit to face him a bit more and raised an eyebrow. “That wasn't what my English teacher would call a complete thought.”

He smiled and licked his lips. “Uh. Dom told me you'd...be here.”

I blinked. Well that was unexpected. “Dom? As in my brother Dominick?”

He nodded and pressed his hands together. “Yeah. Uh. We've played on teams. Together and against. Travel.”

My cheeks felt a little warm, and I figured I was blushing as possibilities started to fire in my head. Was he actually interested in me? “Those were almost complete thoughts.”

He let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, sorry.” He swallowed and turned his gaze fully to me. “I asked Dom about you, and I guess I must have passed his test or something. He told me where I could talk to you.” His knee started to bounce up and down. “So. Here I am.”

“Yes. Here you are,” I said softly, though my mind was whirling. My brother was playing wing man? “I...I've been to a lot of Dominick's games, but I'm sorry...I don't remember you.”

He grinned and chuckled. “Why would you? I didn't see Dom at winter ball this year, and I kind of grew up. Late growth spurt, I guess. I used to be a little chubby, a little...shorter.”

I shook my head. “That wouldn't have been what I'd have noticed,” I said honestly. “Have we met?”

“No, nope,” he said. “I was...well, I guess I wasn't ready.”

The vibe changed immediately as Micah walked up. “Hey, Carlo,” he said with a big grin and held his fist out. I rolled my eyes and bumped his fist.

“Why are you such a bro?” I teased.

He flexed his arm, as if that was an actual response. The other boy shifted on the end of the bench, and I said, “Micah, this is...oh. I'm sorry, I haven't asked your name.”

He straightened up a bit. “Roman.” He stood and bumped fists with Micah, the whole 'bro' thing being contagious.

“Well, Roman, this is my friend Micah – the one I was waiting for.”

“Oh,” Roman replied, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Uh. Okay.”

I tilted my head and then started to laugh. “Roman,” I said, my tone teasing, “Micah is straight, despite my single lame attempt to convert him.”

Roman's face went red, and Micah gave me a questioning look. “Carlo, are you flirting with me again? You know I can never tell.”

“No, you big bro,” I said with a roll of my eyes, much to his amusement. “I was making sure Roman knew I wasn't waiting for you because we were dating or something.”

Micah nodded as if he understood, then his eyes went wide as he actually got it. “Oh. Oh! Shit.” He looked at Roman. “Am I cock-blocking you, bro? My bad!”

“Jesus Christ, Micah,” I said, putting my hand to my forehead. “You said that on purpose, didn't you?”

He tried really hard to look innocent.

“You're such a shit,” I told him, and he grinned. I looked to Roman. “I apologize for him. He's really cute, but not really housebroken.”

Micah snorted in laughter, and Roman smiled. Good, I thought, maybe crisis averted.

Narrowing my eyes, I looked at Micah. “Did you know about this? Did Dominick tell you?”

Shaking his head, Micah replied, “Bro, I got nothin'. Dom told me he had that thing with your father after I told him you and I were meeting up. If he's trying to hook you up, he left me out of it.”

“Probably figured you couldn't keep a secret,” I said with a sly grin.

“That's such a lie,” Micah smiled. He glanced at Roman and back to me. “So am I third wheeling?”

I looked to Roman. “My friend Hunter and his boyfriend, Caleb, are taking Micah and me to do some photo...thing. Hunter has a really cool Insta, and we're actually helping with costumes and stuff today. Would you like to come with?”

Roman looked crestfallen. “I...so want to. I have to go to work.”

Micah coughed while saying. “Call in!”

Roman's eyes went a bit wider, and he looked to me. “I. Uh. Could?”

“You're welcome to,” I said. “Fair warning: I have no idea what Hunter has planned. Just in general.”

“Roman! Come on!” one of the guys from the court called out.

Roman looked at me with a bit of desperation, I think, in his eyes. “I work at my family's business. I-”

I held a hand up. “I understand. My family owns a restaurant, and there is no escape.”

He let out a long breath. “Yeah.” He swallowed and made a few odd hand movements before asking, “Can I get your Snap?”

“You don't have it already?” I asked, taking out my phone. “Dominick is terrible at this.”

He chuckled. “He said you had to give it to me.”

“Huh,” Micah said, looking at me with a speculative look. “I didn't think you gave it to anyone, Carlo.”

I narrowed my eyes. “I'll give you a knuckle sandwich, bitch,” I told him. He just laughed, the shit. I looked at Roman. “What's your Snap? I'll send you a message.” He told me, and I sent him a quick message to establish the link, and he smiled.

“Talk to you later?” he said.

“After this much effort, you better,” I said, sounding far braver than I felt. Roman smiled and bobbed his head, then acceded to the call of his basketball playing bros to get back on the court. As he headed over he called out that he had to leave for work, and there was some answer that I couldn't hear clearly.

“Wow. So that happened, huh?” Micah said.

I looked away from Roman's retreating form and to my friend. “Yeah. Wow is right. I think I might pass out.”

He chuckled. “So what's this we're doing?”

“Doing?” I looked at him blankly.

He snorted. “You know. You just said this thing about Hunter?”

My mind slipped back into gear. “Oh! Right! He said something about hitting up a Goodwill and then taking a bunch of his old props and trying to use them in new ways. Basically I think we're playing dress up.”

“Oh. Not actual dresses, right?”

I shrugged.

“Carlo. No being evil.”

“It's my toxic trait,” I said with a shrug and sent a message to Hunter that I was with Micah at the park. I glanced over my shoulder to see Roman breaking from the courts, glancing my way, raising his hand in a little wave and then heading to the far side of the park. I waved back belatedly, not really sure if he saw me.

“You sure you just met him? You seem like you have it bad,” Micah teased.

I sighed. “I shouldn't. We just met.” I turned my gaze to Micah. “But this never happens to me. Never, Micah. No one has ever asked me out. Nobody has ever put themselves out there, even this much. I mean, here, I just said asked me out – he didn't! He just got my Snap, but...it's a talking stage, I guess.”

“I thought you said you got messages after you were in one of Hunter's photo shoot things?”

“Those weren't guys wanting to date.” I paused. “Well, they said they wanted to date, but they were all weird, slimy, and saying a lot of shit I actually had to look up, because I don't speak middle-aged incel.” I sniffed and lifted my nose. “It was gross.”

Micah gave me a crooked grin. “And this guy, Roman, he's not gross?”

I glanced the way Roman had gone and then back to Micah. “We'll see. He could be gross. He knows Dominick, so.”

“Aww. You know Dom'd never let him get close if he was a shitty guy.”

“Not obviously shitty, no,” I admitted. “And he seemed nice. Really nice, Micah.”

“Good. About time,” he said and patted my shoulder.

My phone buzzed, and I glanced down to check Hunter's reply; as it happens it was Roman, replying to my Snap and telling me what time he got done with work. Then Hunter's message popped up, and he told me to head for the parking lot and he'd see us there in less than a minute. Of course that was in Hunter time, not the real world.

“Hunter's about here,” I said and struck off for the parking lot, with Micah falling in beside me.

“Did you end up going to that concert?” he asked, referring back to a conversation we'd had a few weeks before.

“Yes!” I said, getting animated. “It was so much fun. Have you ever been to a concert?”

“Nah. I mean at school, but not like you did.”

“Oh, this summer. We are so going to a concert!” I said enthusiastically. “You'll love the energy.”

“Sweet,” he replied. “You should come up the next school break. Reece is cooking a lot now, and he likes practicing.”

“I watched Mark's stream the other night – who is 'Stink Wrinkle'?”

“Bro! I don't know! I thought it was my dad, because doesn't that sound just like him? But it's not.”

“Imagine if it was a girl?” I said and laughed, Micah joining in.

“Bro, that would be hilarious. Even better if she was into him and thought it was flirting!”

“That is such a straight guy thing,” I said with a laugh. “I mean you'd do something like that.”

“Nah, I'm better than that,” Micah replied confidently. “Jenna's a handful as it is; I don't need to go nuts with the flirting.”

“She's really pretty,” I replied. “I'm glad she stopped playing some of her games, though. Has her mom calmed down?”

“Eh. I mean, we didn't tell her we're dating again. I think she knows, but she doesn't say anything. Like if she ignores it, she doesn't have to deal with it.”

“Maybe she's a cougar, and she wants you for herself,” I said in an innocent tone.

“Bro. I don't need nightmares like that.” He made a funny sound and shivered comically.

I laughed. “So how do your gay dads handle their hetero son dating?”

He groaned. “Everything is about pregnancy. For real, Carlo.”

“It's one good thing about gay sex, you know,” I teased.

“Bro, I haven't even crossed the hetero sex line yet.” He cocked an eyebrow. “I mean, depending on where you draw the line.”

I was so torn. On the one hand I really wanted to know, and on the other I really didn't. Hormones. “Okay, well, maybe I'll call you tonight, and you can talk dirty – I mean tell me all about it.”

He laughed. “Perv.”

I smiled at him. “It's funny, though. How things worked out for you. How strange that you just got the right people, isn't it? After all the bad shit you went through, everything that was just so fucking unfair.”

He nodded and looked away for a moment. Something about his expression made me curious. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

He turned back to me, glanced away quickly, and then met my gaze. “No. What you said is completely right. It's...” He chuckled. “Nothing.”

I frowned a little. “Micah. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

He smiled and glanced away again. “I know.”

I waited a beat, wanting to prompt him but also wanting to respect him.

“Sometimes...it seems so weird,” he said quietly. “I went from nothing to...something? I have great friends – like real friends. I realized a bit ago that Leo is a lot like Sasha; like, you can talk to him, and he's just a good person. Reese is kind of like Alec, but not totally; you can definitely see some similarities, though. Mark thinks of me as his best friend, so I'm kind of like...trying to be a good friend. Live up to that idea.” He looked up for a moment. “You and Dom. I mean, I have my fam down here around the Springs, but I guess it's more about people you connect with.”

“You connect with your family though,” I pointed out.

He nodded. “Right. But you connect with people at different levels, right? Like I have this big family now, but I don't really know a bunch of them. Not like I know you and Dom, or Leo, Reese and Mark or Jenna.”

“Yeah, I get what you're saying,” I said with a nod.

He looked down and then met my gaze again. “Do you ever dream?”

I tilted my head. “Like day dreams or when you're asleep?”

He glanced away. “More like when you're asleep.”

I wondered why he was hesitant. “Sometimes. I usually can't remember much.”

Keeping his gaze aimed away from me. “Me too. But...I keep getting these...pieces. Ideas.” He shook his head and looked at me. “Sometimes I have these little parts of a dream in my head, and they feel like...memories. You know? Like something that happened and you forgot?”

“Huh. I know what you mean about remembering; like when you see someone you haven't thought about for a while, and you start talking and remembering stuff.”

“Yes! Like that!” he said, growing animated for a moment and then looking away again.

I wondered if what he was 'remembering' was something bad, like the abuse from his mother. “Micah...is there something going on?”

He looked at me. “Huh? Like what?”

I shifted on my feet. “Are you...like these memories...is it something bad?”

He smiled a little. “No. Just strange. It feels like a memory, but it can't be. It's...I get this strange feeling like I knew Alec before I ever met him. Like...I don't know.” He shook his head. “I have this...feeling...that we almost never met.” He fixed his gaze to mine. “I feel like we're connected, and it's weird and good and makes me sound crazy all at once.”

I smiled at him. “I guess it can be all three. It's Alec, after all.”

We arrived in the parking lot just as Caleb pulled up. Hunter climbed out before the car was completely stopped and flung his arms around me.

“Ugh! Missed you, kid!” he said and shook me a little from side to side.

“I missed you, Queen!” I replied, tucking in and shaking him back.

“You look phenomenal! This is the jacket we picked out last fall?”

“Yep!” I replied and tugged at the bottom to straighten it.

“Love it. Who's this? The token straight boy?” Hunter asked with a grin.

“He's Micah, my best friend,” I said, turning a little toward Micah.

“Hi, Best Friend Micah,” Hunter said with a smile. “I'm fairy guncle Hunter, and that's my boyfriend, Caleb.”

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Micah replied easily. “Carlo says we're doing dress up today? Anything specific?”

“Yes!” Hunter said with a gleam in his eyes. “We need some military surplus stuff, but this is going to be down and dirty! We're starting at an Army/Navy and then a quick stop at Goodwill, because of course I have to go there! Then we'll go to my house and get started.”

“Rock on,” Micah replied. “What are we dressing up as?”

“Please make Micah wear something with flowers or an animal print,” I teased.

“You know how I feel about animal prints,” Hunter admonished me. He looked to Micah. “Not even animals look good in animal prints.” He clapped his hands. “Let's go!”

Caleb waved at us both, and we said hello to him as we climbed into the back seat. Hunter turned around in his seat to look at us. “So I had this amazing idea to recreate that famous photograph of the soldiers raising the flag during World War 2.”

In my peripheral vision I saw Micah glance toward me, but I figured I'd save him the question.

“Hunter...they took a lot of pictures around that time. Could you be more specific?” I asked.

Caleb snorted in laughter, and Hunter shot him some side eye before showing us an image on his phone. “This picture. Didn't you pay attention in Social Studies? It's Marines raising the flag at Iwo Jima.”

“I've seen it,” Micah said.

“I have, too. I just didn't know which picture you meant,” I replied.

“Four people,” Micah said. “Too bad Roman had to work.”

There was a pause, and Hunter asked, “Who's Roman?”

I looked at Micah, trying to mentally slap him. I looked back to Hunter and said, “A guy who just asked for my Snap. It's not a big deal.”

“Um. Sweetie, tell me everything,” Hunter said excitedly.

I smiled involuntarily, partially from his excitement, partially from my own excitement and simple nerves. “I guess Dominick was playing wing man, though I haven't spoken to him yet. But...Dominick told Roman I'd be at the park this morning, and Roman showed up to talk to me.”

Hunter pointed at me. “I like that. I'm all for texts and memes – you know I love a good meme – but taking the extra time to show up in person matters.”

“Why?” Caleb asked.

“Because it makes you vulnerable, and we all try to avoid that,” Hunter said, shifting in his seat to look toward his boyfriend. “People break up through text, or they hide behind their phones to meet people. Sometimes that's just valid, like if you're using an app for dating. You talk a little, maybe meet up or hook up. But people in person are different, and you risk more by talking in person versus just sending a text.”

Caleb nodded along.

“Well,” I said, “he may have had his hand forced. Dominick wouldn't give him my Snap; he told Roman that was up to me.”

“He's a solid human,” Hunter said.

“You should call Dom,” Micah suggested.

“I will,” I said with a roll of my eyes. Caleb pulled into a parking lot, and we got out at an Army/ Navy surplus store. Hunter led us inside and started prowling for items he could use, though not much of this stuff really seemed like 'surplus', and neither were the prices. Hunter was in his element though and didn't need my energy at the moment. I was distracted by the whole Roman thing anyway, so I slipped away from the group and called Dominick.

“Yo.”

I rolled my eyes. “Someday you're not going to sound like a bro, and I hope I'm there to see it,” I told him.

“Nah. So what's up?”

“Well, I didn't want to interrupt you-”

“You're not. Dad's coffee kicked in, so I have a good ten more minutes.”

I couldn't help but laugh. He knew very well why I'd be calling, so I decided not to be coy. “So. What do you know about this Roman guy?”

“Fucking weird.”

I glanced around me and then asked. “Weird? How?”

“The conversations. Like, it would be weird if anyone asked me about Theresa, because...you know...my sister. Plus, she's such a bitch. It wasn't any more normal to have someone asking about my brother.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, okay, I guess I see your point. Clearly he wasn't too weird, because you sent him on to me.”

“Was that it? Or did I send him to you as a punishment for all the shit you do to me, huh? What about that?”

“Shit I do to you?” I burst out laughing. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?”

“See? Always acting like I'm dumb.” I heard him clucking at me. “Nah, bro. It's fifty-fifty I told him where you were just to fuck with you.”

I looked at the ceiling and asked silently for strength. “Dominick.”

“Oh, here comes Dad. Gotta go.”

“Dominick!”

And he hung up. Did I say my brother was a decent human? I think I was mistaken. He is more evil than I realized. I was tempted to call him back, but that would be desperate and playing into his game. Instead I pocketed my phone and went to rejoin my friends, though my mind was still tumbling with the idea of someone being interested in me. If this feeling could be bottled and sold, I'd never have to work at the restaurant again.

I rejoined my friends, Hunter talking and holding up an armful of olive drab tee shirts, a pair of old backpacks, and two pairs of camouflage pants – I think there were two – and placing a helmet on Micah's head.

“What about these?” Caleb asked, holding up web belts bound with rubber bands.

“Yes! Do they have old canteens? It looks like the only boots are new, so have to come up with something else,” Hunter was saying. Caleb scooped up four belts, and I volunteered to go find some canteens; Micah fell in beside me as we looked for signs or simply more of the large bins that contained so many used military items.

“I wonder why people join the military,” Micah said, touching a coat with some military insignia stitched to the sleeve.

“Lots of reasons, I guess,” I replied, spotting a bin with canteens. “Some for their country, for some misguided idea of manhood, some to shoot a gun and yell 'yee haw'. Of course, you can't leave out the appeal of a man in uniform.”

“Yeah. Kind of a lame way to get laid, I guess. Get a piece and go off to possibly get killed,” Micah commented.

“Well. Sometimes the things they do make it possible for others to live in peace. I mean...I've listened to my parents talk, and I know it's not that simple, but in some cases I guess it is.”

“You think you'd ever join?”

“The military? Me?” I shook my head. “They'd probably beat me to death in boot camp for threatening their delicate sense of masculinity.”

“You have just as much right to be there,” Micah replied.

I picked up four canteens and handed him two of them, because they're unwieldy. “If I looked like you or acted like you, then maybe. But facts are facts, and there aren't enough straight guys like you that see any value in a guy like me.”

“Whoa, value? Hang on,” he replied with a grin. “Hey, did you call Dom?”

“I'm going to call him a lot of things,” I replied as we walked back to Hunter and Caleb.

He chuckled. “Not helpful, huh?”

I blew out a breath. “I think he probably sees this as a chance to get back at me for spoiling his ideas about which girls like him. Plus, to be clear, some girls are just wrong for him – but then you know all about that, don't you?”

“Hey. Things are good with Jenna. Don't be evil.”

I snorted. “I'm glad she woke up, I guess. I mean...who lets their mother decide who they date?”

“Have to be pretty controlling to pick a boyfriend for your daughter, I guess. That's kind of like those arranged things though, huh?”

“Yeah, I don't get that,” I said as we rejoined our friends. “It's one reason I don't really like culture or tradition being used to justify anything.”

“What are we talking about?” Hunter asked, leading us to the register.

“Micah's poor dating choices,” I replied.

“Oh! I want to hear, but hang on,” Hunter said, putting things on the counter.

The old guy behind the counter started to ring things up, and Hunter launched into a spiel about needing these items for some sort of school theater thing and asking if the prices were negotiable at all. The guy gave Hunter a put upon look and asked if he had any identification to prove his claim, and if so he could give him ten percent off. Hunter launched into an impressive, if embarrassing, display and it got him nowhere. Grumbling, Hunter paid and told the guy he wasn't invited to opening night.

He looked crushed, I tell you. Crushed.

We put everything into the trunk and got back into the car. “Whose car is this?” I asked, knowing Caleb had a little truck and that Hunter didn't like to drive.

“My mom's,” Caleb replied. “We needed more seats. Hunter said it's illegal to have you in the bed of the truck, so.”

“Caleb. You were going to put me in the bed of the truck while you were driving?” I asked.

“Well....”

“What did I do to hurt you, Caleb? What?” I asked, chuckling.

Hunter turned around in his seat again. “Now. Roman. What did Dominick say?”

I rubbed my forehead, which was enough of a hesitation for Micah to jump in. “Dominick won't tell Carlo anything. Carlo thinks Dom's getting even for Carlo running his dating life.”

“That's not what I said.”

“It's what I heard,” Micah replied, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I blew a raspberry at him and turned to Hunter. “I tried to call Dominick, but he was no help. I guess I'm just going to have to be patient, which means you do, too.”

“Ugh! You know I'm terrible at being patient!” Hunter said with a laugh. “Now what about Micah's poor dating choices?”

“Oh, the usual. His girlfriend's mother wants his ass.”

“I'm gonna puke,” Micah said, rolling the window down.

“Gross. Are you serious at all?” Caleb asked.

“No. My girlfriend's mom hates me,” Micah offered. “She's a snob. Thinks her little girl is too good for me.”

“Well, she sounds like a delight,” Hunter said wryly. “I'm going to assume since Carlo likes you, you're not all that bad.”

“Not unless you really make him mad. Then his pranks are really vicious,” I said, nodding seriously while Micah covered his mouth in laughter.

“I'm going to need to know more,” Hunter said.

“We're here,” Caleb said.

Hunter glanced at the parking lot and then back to us. “Okay, hold that thought.”

We pulled into a Goodwill, Hunter whirled around grabbing some random items, and then we were back on the road. Normally if I'm with Hunter and Caleb, or if I'm hanging out with Micah, I'm in the moment, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was a little distracted by the whole Roman thing. It wasn't that he was just so attractive; he was cute, but he seemed much more so now that I knew there was some interest from his side. I won't say I've jumped ahead in my mind to being married with a few dogs, but I was definitely wondering what it might be like to go for coffee and find out about him and his life.

I sent him a message asking how work was going. He responded quickly with a picture of him next to a workbench with a bicycle on it.

“Are you texting Roman?” Micah asked.

I put my phone down quickly. “No.”

“Liar,” he said with a laugh.

“Shut up,” I told him.

We pulled up to a house, and Hunter welcomed us to his childhood home. I'd never been; the one time we'd built something together had been at Caleb's house, where we'd made heavy use of the greenhouses and plants and I'd loved every minute of it. Hunter led us to the garage, which happened to be a workshop, texting as he went.

“Okay, my sister is going to come out to help today,” Hunter said, tossing the items he'd bought onto a table. “So here's my idea. We're going to set up part of the pirate theme I used last year, but we're going to make it a more military theme. Caleb got a camera, and he's been taking a photography class. He wanted to take all of the pictures today, so my sister is actually going to join us.”

“So...what are we actually doing?” Micah asked.

“The overall theme is allies,” Hunter said with a grin. “With everything going on with people screaming about diversity being a bad thing, we're going to do a whole set based around allies.” He paused. “It's diversity, but kind of limited, because we're all white. If I knew people of other nationalities, I'd ask them to join, but the fact is we live in Mayonnaise, New York, so good luck with that. Even the Chinese restaurant is run by white people.”

Caleb cleared his throat. “Um. Why don't we make this a series? We can always ask people from my photography class or friends at school who might add to the diversity, over time.”

Hunter shifted to one side, tilting his head. “And there's one of the reasons I love you. Great idea!”

Micah cleared his throat. “Okay, I get the theme, but what are we actually doing?”

Hunter's eyes went wide. “Oh, right! Okay, so we're going to have to divide the costumes, make some kind of sexy, and essentially start off with mixed pairings showing female and male, straight and gay, sibling and friend. Then we'll cap everything with us all raising a flag I have spent weeks working on.”

“I thought you ordered it?” Caleb asked.

“Honey, that sounds like I did a lot less,” Hunter said, and we all laughed. “Anyway. The flag says ‘Allies’ on it, and we'll try raising it like the picture of the soldiers on Iwo Jima.”

“All right,” Micah said and slapped his hands together. “Sounds fire. Let's do it.”

In that moment I was just so impressed with Micah. He's told me a lot – after all, we're friends. I know he's my best guy friend, and maybe I don't fit that for him, but we're still good friends. He's told me a lot of the anger issues he's been dealing with and how he's trying to deal with issues in therapy, ups and downs with his parents and his other relationships – he's just got this messy, emotional road to travel.

But he is all over this idea, going along with everything Hunter has said and following through, without even a second thought about Hunter's vision, costumes or how anyone else might perceive the images, on the theme Hunter brought up – being an ally. I'm really lucky he wandered into my life.

We spent the next three hours moving parts of the old pirate set, complete with sand. There was a frame with a backdrop that Hunter used to have in his room that looked like a sky with fluffy clouds to go behind us. Since we'd struck out on the boots as a group, Hunter had a few pairs of Army socks, though that idea went out the window when he started cutting up the pants and decided barefoot was better. Hunter took time to put makeup on us, including lines that made it look like I had abs – and highlighting the ones Micah had coming in.

From there it was pictures and poses and laughing – lots of laughing. My favorite picture was of me and Micah, me with my pants rolled to the knees and him with ones that were just shredded, both of us with the big backpacks on. We were back-to-back, arms crossed. Hunter had painted a small pride flag on my left cheek and a small white flag with Ally in black letters on Micah's right. Hunter mixed and matched us, and then we finished up by recreating the Iwo Jima picture. Hunter's sister was wearing a torn tee shirt and I'm not completely sure there was anything on underneath it.

Pretty sure Micah noticed and she thought it was funny.

Finally done playing in the sandbox in our military cast-offs, Hunter's sister left to go see her boyfriend, Bruce, and we set about putting some stuff away.

“Oh! I forgot! What was that about pranks?” Hunter asked, looking at me.

I looked at Mich and asked, “Do you want to tell the story?”

Micah grinned. “Sure. There's this guy at school; he's just a dick to a lot of people. I'm not sure why. There are some people that like him, I guess, but they suck, too.”

“Wow. Sounds like my ex,” Hunter said. “What happened?”

“Well, this guy gives me shit for having dads, having gay friends, and he also tries to start shit with my friend, Leo. Leo usually kicks his ass, but you can only do that so much before the school starts getting stupid.”

Hunter pursed his lips.

“So my dad, Sasha, went to go try and talk to the family – and they really pissed him off. That's not easy. I mean, I've done it, but it takes a lot. These guys, he was fuming about. Completely unreasonable, mean just because they can be.” Micah crossed his arms. “Dad says they're like those people that claim they are brutally honest when it's really just a way to be a jerk and sound like you're a good guy.”

“Preach,” Hunter replied. “So what did you guys do?”

“Well,” Micah let his arms drop and gave the cutest, slyest grin ever. “Hypothetically we might have put glitter in their heater vents, skunk spray in their carpeting, iced the car so the whole thing was covered in a sheet of ice and put a frozen disc of piss under their front door so it'd melt in their entryway.” Micah grinned. “Hypothetically.”

Hunter's jaw dropped. “How evil were these people?”

Micah's smile slipped and for just a moment I saw the hurt, angry boy who'd never been loved enough. Then he recovered, shrugging and crossing his arms again. “They do things because being cruel is the point. They make fun of anyone that looks different to them—skin color, music, sexuality, nationality—and if they see they pissed you off, they go harder. They text, they shove and fight you and yell out nasty things where other people can hear you be humiliated.”

“Jesus,” Hunter whispered.

“They show up at school board meetings to get books banned.” Micah swallowed, and then his jaw seemed to lock for a moment before he spoke again. “My dad went to talk to them. Sasha. He's the nicest person you'd ever want to meet. They started in with all that grooming and pedo shit. So. Hypothetically, they got pranked hard.”

Hunter squared his shoulders. “Micah, I'd like you to do me a favor.”

Micah shifted on his feet, but didn't reply.

“If there is ever an opportunity for that to happen to those people again, I'd like an invite to that hypothetical party.”

Micah smiled. “It's not happening again.”

Hunter's shoulders slumped. “Why? Did you get caught?”

Micah shook his head. “When Dale calls me a fag, I call him an incel. When he talks about my dads sucking dick, I mention his micro-penis.” Micah smiled, but just a little. “And if he goes too far, Leo goes to meet him off school grounds and reminds him how he should shut the fuck up.” Micah straightened up. “I'm a foster, so if I get into fights and get booted from school, I might lose my dads. I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.” He raised his chin. “But sometimes...I meet Dale off school grounds and remind him to shut the fuck up, too.”

Hunter smiled and shook his head, glancing at Caleb and then looked at me. “You are so lucky to have him as a friend. I'd have loved to have known him when I was in school.”

“Hang on,” I said, waving a hand. “Sure, Micah says all the right things, but he won't follow through and date a guy. Seems like he's all talk, you know?”

“Oh, fuck you,” Micah said with a laugh.

“Well. I appreciate your honesty about hypothetical situations. High school is a cesspool of humanity, and it's not all that much better when you get out, except for the people you find along the way.” Hunter turned toward me. “So. We should find out all we can about this Roman guy.”

And that was how we spent an hour hunting for his socials. We found one, finally, but he doesn't post much; he's more of a lurker. I figure our poking around must have made him sus; he sent me a Snap asking how the photo shoot went. I sent him the picture of me and Micah and was embarrassed yet pleased when the app told me he screen shotted the picture.

'Thanks for the new background,' he wrote. That was fast, I thought.

“What did he say?” Micah asked.

“He, uh, used our picture as his phone background...I think? I guess?”

Micah flexed. “Told you I've been making gains.”

“Yeah, I know. I follow your Insta.” I paused. “I send all your thirst traps to the gay mafia so they know what you're up to.”

Micah stared at me for a second. “For real? You send guys my pics? Dude, wrong kind of wing man.”

Caleb was smiling at us while Hunter laughed aloud. “Okay, let me bring you guys back home, because Caleb is cooking dinner, and I have to edit all these images to make you look even better than you already do – which isn't gong to be easy, let me tell you.”

Hunter brought us back to my house, as I'd invited Micah to hang out with Dominick and myself. His dads had agreed to pick him up later, and I was happy to have some more best-friend time. We got out of the car, and Hunter gave me a big hug and rocked me from side to side, told me to call him and to make sure to give him all the developing details on Roman. They pulled away, and I looked at Micah, who had a curious smile on his face.

“What?” I asked.

He shrugged, still smiling. “You found your people.”

I realized I'd tensed my shoulders and let them drop. “You're one of my people.” I felt hurt at his words.

He shook his head, still smiling. “I know. But I'm not like you. Hunter...he sees you like maybe I can't. He can appreciate things about you that are just mysteries to me.”

I looked toward the house and back to Micah. “I don't think that's true at all.” I hesitated. “Micah...you've changed so much since I met you, but...do you remember the first thing you said to me? When we met?”

Micah tilted his head and looked up for a moment, then looked back to me, shaking his head.

“I was out front of my grandparents', being my fruity self. I was dancing in their driveway. You asked what I was doing, and I told you I was doing an interpretive dance to welcome summer, and you said-”

He smiled widely. “Do you have a dance for the other seasons?”

I nodded. “You do see me. Hunter has helped me grow, but he's no more my people than you are. You always let me be me, and it's why....”

“Yeah. Me too, you big fruit. Don't make this more awkward than a girl checking a pregnancy test,” he said, blushing.

“Such a jerk,” I said with a shake of my head. “Come on.”

We passed Theresa, my always angry sister, and found Dominick in the TV room, mindlessly scrolling on his phone.

“Hey. Nice dent you put in the car today,” I said, sitting in a chair.

“Hey, loser,” Micah said, flopping down onto the couch by Dominick.

“Dents – so funny. Hey, douche,” he said, answering us in kind.

“Bro. You could have told me you were sending that guy after Carlo. Would be nice to be in on the joke,” Micah told him.

“You two are made for each other,” I said, leaning back and shaking my head.

“Eh. Roman seems okay,” Dominick said, pocketing his phone. “Besides, I wasn't sure he'd have the balls to show up in person. I figured if he just started sending Snaps out of nowhere, you'd think he was one of those weirdos like from Hunter's photo thing or someone just trying to troll you.”

I nodded. “Thank you. I know that much thinking couldn't have been easy.”

Dominick grunted and said, “I think good.”

“Couldn't have done much gooder,” Micah agreed.

“Jesus,” I said with a chuckle. “Okay, I'm going to get changed. I'm hungry.”

“Mom and Dad are managing a private party, but they left food in the fridge.”

“Dad dropped you and went right back to work?”

“Yeah. Hungry, Bro?”

“I could eat,” Micah replied.

They got up and headed to the kitchen. One of the nice things about the family restaurant is there is always food at home – just have to warm it up. As I walked to my room, my phone buzzed, and when I checked, I was pleased to see Roman had sent me a message that he was on a break. On a whim I hit the video chat button and was rewarded a moment later with his face filling the screen.

“On a break, huh?” I asked.

“Yeah. We're closing soon, but I started cleaning up to go home.”

“Nice,” I said and set my phone up on its stand so I could put my things away. “We did Hunter's photo shoot, and it was a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, I liked the picture you sent. What else did you guys do?”

I hung up my coat. “Oh, well, first we went to an Army/Navy.” I filled him in on my afternoon as I put my shoes and stuff away. I was out of view of the camera when I put my pants and turtleneck away for some stay-at-home clothes; my joggers and a worn out sweatshirt that was just comfortable.

“That sounds fire, Carlo. Wish I could have gone,” he said.

I picked up the phone and looked at him. “Well. It would have been a fun way to hang out. Get to know each other.”

“Yeah. I want to. I mean. Get to know you.”

It made my heart flip a little that I was making him nervous. Seems like it could be a dangerous feeling.

“Well. We should. When do you get done with work?”

“About an hour,” he said. “It's too late to start in working on another bike, and like I said, I got my tools all put away.”

“Your family owns a bicycle shop?”

“Yep. Regular and e-bikes and scooters.”

I felt a little torn as I wanted to spend time with him, and I kind of wanted to do it now, but Micah was here. Plus, while I had my license, I had no car, so I couldn't meet him. Then again, maybe not sitting down by ourselves right away would help make things less awkward? It seems like there is a lot of pressure in my head to do something; anything.

“Hey. You okay?”

I refocused on his face. He looked mildly concerned, maybe a little confused. He tossed his head, and the big flop of hair on his forehead was back up on top and starting its slow slide back down.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” I said with a smile. “I was just thinking. Micah's here with me and Dominick. He lives up near Albany during the school year, so it's kind of special to get to hang out with him, but...do you want to come over and maybe watch a movie with us?”

His eyes went a bit wider, and he licked his lips. “Uh. Yeah. Yes. I can...send me the address and I'll...I'll be there.”

My stomach flipped. “Uh. Oh. Okay! So. Yeah, I'll just send the address and....”

“Yeah. Okay, so...see you soon?”

I swallowed and smiled wide. “Yeah. See you soon.” I shut down the video call and sent him my address, having to go back and fix it a few times before sending. I let out a shaky breath and walked out to join my best friend and my brother in the kitchen. They were sitting on stools at the counter eating.

“Yours is in the fridge,” Dominick said.

“Gee, thanks,” I replied. “You guys want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah. Something with tits, right?” Micah said, and I could hear him nudging Dominick in the ribs, thinking he was funny.

“Only if there's peen, too,” I said, filling my plate.

“Nah. See that's not even,” Dominick said. “Now if there was some vagina, then you could make the peen argument. All you get is shirtless, just like us.”

I put my plate in the microwave and started it, then turned back to look at them—my matching morons.

“Well, we need a different movie choice anyway. I, uh, invited Roman to come watch a movie with us.”

They looked at each other and grinned. “One of the Transformer's movies are perfect for dates,” Micah said.

“No. Way too much of a bro movie,” I said, turning to get my plate from the microwave.

“What about The Last Supper? Nonno and Nonna want us to watch more-”

“No fucking way,” I told Dominick, setting my plate down and pulling up a stool to sit with them. “We're not watching any bible movies.”

“Well-”

“Look, Dynamic Duo of Broness. I don't want to watch something embarrassing. You two being in the room will be enough.”

“Oh. I don't think he likes us, Micah,” Dominick said, dropping his voice. I picked a piece of macaroni off my plate and flung it at him with surprising accuracy. He wiped his cheek and laughed at me, and I grinned back.

“I just think you're not done being a wing man.” I paused. “This is big for me.”

“I know, bro. We got you. Right?” Micah said, looking to Dominick.

“”Course. I mean...we should still embarrass him, though. Right? I mean...reality and all.”

“Oh, yeah. Don't want to give this guy the wrong idea.”

“Look,” I said, fixing Micah with a glare. “I've listened and helped on all your crazy drama with Jenna. I have her Insta, and I'm not afraid to message her that you're sleeping with Dominick.”

“Whoa, let's not launch the nukes just yet!” Micah said with a laugh.

I looked to Dominick. “I know for a fact mom and dad had our baby pictures digitized. I will send your baby pictures – the ones in the bath – to your girlfriend.”

“Bro.”

I pointed at them, moving my finger back and forth. “I may be fruity, but I can bring the receipts.” I paused and looked at Dominick. “You know Roman. I don't.”

Micah shook his head and smiled. “Carlo. Do you think Roman would ever buy a situation where we didn't give each other shit? C'mon. He's either going to fit in or not, right?”

“He's coming here for you anyway, not us,” Dominick said. “Besides, I can tell him how you beat it to that Chalamet guy, so don't bring up baby pictures.”

“I do not beat it to him, Jesus, Dominick!” I said, scandalized. “It'd be like beating it to my mirror. I'm not a narcissist.”

“Did he just...?” Micah asked, looking at Dominick. We were shortly engaged in insults, threats and various forms of intimidation – so much so that I forgot Roman was coming over. When my phone buzzed I was immediately nervous and told them not to be jerks as I ran to go comb my hair – or something. No! Not enough time! I pulled out my lip balm and applied it.

“Getting his lips ready,” Micah said to Dominick, stage whispering.

“Micah, if this doesn't work out, I'll be expecting your invitation to date, so pucker up, buttercup,” I told him as I headed for the front door. I can't believe I was going to let them answer the door. Who knows what sort of crap I'd have walked back to? I checked my breath really quickly and then opened the door.

I had no idea how long it had been since he'd said he'd come over, but he looked great. He'd obviously changed, and he looked like his hair was damp. It occurred to me he was just as nervous as I was, but I was impressed as hell he'd taken a few steps to try and make a good impression.

“Hi. Come on in,” I said with a smile, taking him in as he entered. He was wearing joggers that hugged him well, a hoodie, and I could see the hem of a tee shirt underneath. He tossed his head, his hair moving back off his forehead, but already a few strands were making their way back down.

“Hi,” he said with a slight tremor to his voice, his smile nervous.

“You can leave your shoes there,” I said, pointing to the pile by the door. He toed his shoes off and followed me into the kitchen. “I think you know dumbass one and two,” I said by way of introduction.

“Okay, okay,” Dominick said, standing up from his stool. “I have a few rules for dating my brother.”

“The fuck you do,” I replied. “Sit your mismatched jock ass down and finish your dinner.”

Dominick and Micah howled with laughter, and I looked to Roman, blushing to find he was smiling.

“I think you already said something in text,” Roman said to Dominick.

“What? Like what?”

“Well. Condoms-”

“Dominick.”

He laughed. “I just warned him to treat you right. I can find him if I need to.”

I rolled my eyes and turned to Roman. “Ignore him. Are you hungry?”

He put a hand on his stomach. “Not sure I can eat.”

“He's just as nervous as you are. Don't throw up on each other,” Micah said.

I closed my eyes, let out a small breath and then walked over to Micah and slapped him in the back of the head. “Stop.” He just laughed at me. “You two stay here.” I turned and took Roman by the hand. “Come on.” I walked him to the TV room and pulled him down on the couch beside me.

He shifted, getting settled but looking a little stiff.

“I'm nervous, you're nervous,” I said. I squeezed his hand. “Let's both take a breath before the heteros get in here.”

He chuckled and nodded, shifting a bit and tried to look a little more relaxed. “Sorry. I should probably be a little cooler about this, but...I'm not. I'll say I'm sorry now for being awkward tonight.”

I held his hand up between us. “I'm nervous too. I'm glad you're here. I want to know everything about you.” I paused and looked down at our hands and then back to his face. “Is it okay that I'm holding your hand?”

He flushed and smiled. “Yeah. For sure.” Then my other sibling happened.

“It's fine,” my sister said as she entered the room and turned the TV on. “Let me get it queued up.”

“Um. Hello? We were going to watch a movie?”

Theresa looked at me like I was gum on her shoe. “Well, too bad.” She looked back toward the screen. “Yeah, I'm almost there. I know!”

I took a deep breath. Normally I'd antagonize her for being a bitch, but I had other things to consider. Looking at Roman, I asked, “Feel like going for coffee?”

“Oh, uh, yeah!” He stood up, though it was awkward with us both trying to do that together, being that our hands were locked together. It's almost like we forgot we could let go and stand up. I cleared my throat.

“Let me grab my wallet and keys.”

I let his hand go, but then turned and grabbed it as he'd stood still in the living room. “Come on. I can't leave you with my sister, and we know I'm not leaving you with my brother.”

He laughed lightly, and I pulled him along to my room. I took a minute to find my wallet and even longer to find my keys – key, really – and then I was ready. I led him back to the front of the house, passing the kitchen to get to the shoes by the door.

“Wow. That was fast,” I heard Dominick say.

“Um, the last thing your girlfriend said?” I replied. He and Micah burst out laughing, and Roman snorted. I rolled my eyes and pulled my shoes on, then grabbed his hand again and pulled him out the front door, calling out I was going for coffee and hearing a 'yeah, right!' from inside.

Roman led me to a small car, and we let go of each other long enough to get into the car. He shifted into reverse and got us out onto the street. “So where-”

“Don't care. The coffee is secondary,” I said. “Now. Why do I not know you?”

He chuckled. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I remember a few people from Dominick's teams. I mean, a few I have worked pretty hard to forget, but where the heck did you come from?”

He laughed again. “I just...well, I probably hid from you.”

“Hid?”

He nodded. “You're so brave, and I wasn't. I was struggling with coming out, and here you were – especially over the last year – just upping your clothes game, playing that face card and looking like you'd fucking scratch someone's eyes out if they looked at you wrong. I don't know if you're aware, but you're kind of scary!”

“Oh, please,” I replied. “Sweetie, I'm not brave – I just can't blend in like some gays can. Plenty of people try to shame me, but I have a pretty good family, and I have a few friends that have made all the difference.” I paused. “Although I think you may be right about the clothes. I do dress a bit differently.”

I found it interesting that someone could be intimidated by me – or think of me as scary, as he'd said.

“So...that was your sister?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Ignore her. I'd have ruined her time with the TV if we weren't going somewhere.” I turned a bit toward him. “She's one person Dominick and I agree completely about. She likes to sit in the living room and watch this TV show and talk to her friend on the phone about it. I'm like...buy a dildo already.”

He snorted out a laugh.

“Okay, look, I think you may have the wrong idea of me,” I said him as he pulled into a Starbucks lot.

He turned to look at me. “Okay. What do I have wrong?”

“I know because I'm kind of feminine, there's this perception that I'm going to squeal or that I like drag.” I held a hand up. “I have nothing against drag, but it's not for me. I'm not a queen. I'm just me, and I do things my way.”

Wow. This was nerve wracking to say out loud.

He turned in his seat. “And...what is your way?”

I smiled. “You're really cute. I appreciate you took time to change from work and comb your hair or something before you came over. I like that you took some effort, and that you look good – you're rocking your own face card, and I think you know that.”

He gave a bit of a cocky twist to his head and smiled. “I won't say I don't like hearing that from you.”

I ran my thumb along his knuckles. “You'd hear it a lot. I...I'm not into perfect. I'm not going to wait for the perfect time or place or situation. Other people are out there living life, dating, and you appearing like this is big for me. Huge. I'm here for it, and I say that with my whole chest. But.”

He raised an eyebrow and waited.

“I'm gay. More precisely, a homosexual, and I'm not shying away from the 'sex' part of that. I will hold your hand in private and in public. I will kiss you in public and private – and probably on your privates.” Wow. Heart is beating so hard. “I will not be shy; I will tell you that you look good.” I held a hand up. “Not like, in front of your mother or something, but I want you to know that I've thought about this day. I've thought about how I want to be in a relationship, and the big thing I need you to know is that you have to be with me if you're with me.”

He swallowed and gave me a smile that was part sly and part shy and made my heart speed up. “Does that mean right away? Like...there's a good night kiss coming?”

Feeling fierce and with my heart slapping around inside my chest, I reached over with my free hand to grab the back of his neck and pull him to me.

Oh.

That was nice.

After a moment I pulled back, enjoying his smile and blush. “That was a 'Let's go in for coffee' kiss.”

He grinned a bit wider. “Do you have a kiss for everything?”

“What a perfect question,” I happily replied.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

We spent a few hours just exchanging information, holding hands, and then, before he went home, getting a very, very sweet kiss. Followed by some a bit sexier than sweet. With promises to see each other the next day, I let him go. I spent the rest of my evening texting with him and apologizing to Micah for not hanging out with him that evening.

Of course, Micah wasn't concerned. He reminded me I needed to come up on the next break to try Reese's cooking, and he wanted me to meet Reese and Leo, of course – and he asked me to bring Roman. My heart swelled.

I decided to wait until later to tell Hunter. Besides, I had a video call with Roman; neither of us could sleep.