I was going to kill him when I saw him. Grounded for two weeks cause he couldn't keep his mouth shut! Can you believe it? I mean, it was bad enough having his mom walk in on us, but when he wanted to know what the big deal was and the argument that ensued was, well, eventful. The thing is, his mom is right in a way, cause we do need to be careful, but she didn't have to burst in on us for one thing, and for two why does everyone think all we do together is have sex? In the time we've been dating we haven't gone 'all the way', no matter what I read it seems like it'll hurt and I think I can wait for pain.

Anyway, that was on Saturday. Sunday brought more strange stuff, and all I can do is wonder why it is happening to me! Ever since I came here it seems like I'm a perpetual motion machine, first with Kyle, then with Chris, and finally Casey. You know, the one I'm going to kill? I think I’ll kiss him first just so I don't taste the blood from his split lip! So anyway, I hung out with Kyle all day Sunday and it was just awesome. We took his dad's canoe down to the reservoir and paddled around in the warm sunshine. At one point we just drifted, I read a book and Kyle dozed. I had to wake him, though, cause he snores. Loud.

"Book any good?" He asked after regaining his senses.

"It's ok, I guess. I'm having a hard time getting into it." I replied.

"Cris came over last night, wanted to talk." He said casually. My senses went on full alert. I felt like the starship Enterprise or something.

"Oh?" I replied evenly.

"Yeah, I guess he and Grant have kind of hit the wall. Or something." He said. I waited.

"I guess maybe they're going to break up." He said looking at me.

"That sucks, any idea why?" I asked.

"No, not really. All Cris could say was he was just getting this feeling that Grant wasn't there all the time. Like they'd talk or something and Grant just wasn't keeping up or contributing."

The water lapped up against the side of the canoe and I considered this latest development. Grant, although accepting, hadn't pursued Cris. And when we talked at the lake he really wasn't sure about the whole thing. Could it just be doubts complicating his mind? Or was it deeper than that? More, why was Kyle telling me? And why did he think they would break up?

"But what makes you say that you think they might break up? " I asked.

"Well, it was Cris's tone of voice, you know? It sounded like he had given up on it, like he was giving the last of what he has and he can already see it won't be enough." Kyle hesitated, "He says that he feels like Grant's hiding something or just not telling him the whole story. I don't know it's all just weird I guess."

I contemplated this information, not that it was any of my business. I wonder if Grant is still struggling with this relationship? My stomach rumbled loudly and we decided to head in. We went to my house where we found Chris, asleep on the couch, McDonalds food packages on the coffee table, and I had one of those terrible wonderful ideas. I grabbed the camera from the drawer in my father’s desk and crept back to the living room. Kyle looked at me questioningly; sure I was up to something.

I grabbed a few stray French fries and inserted them ever so slowly into his nostrils, which was made easier by the fact that he was breathing through his mouth. I then picked up a stray pickle slice and a part of a tomato slice and covered his eyes. I stepped back and Kyle was sniggering. I knew I had better snap the picture now, or risk getting tickled for nothing, so I aimed the camera and....snap!

Chris let out a loud snore and kept on sleeping. We giggled and headed for the kitchen, half running, and exited through the back door where we fell to the ground howling with laughter. We lay on our sides and just when we thought we could stand again, one would giggle and we would both be off again.

"If you think that's funny, try this!" Chris roared from the back porch. We turned to see him, special sauce ringed around his eyes before he let loose with the squeeze ketchup and the mustard. Yellow and red streamers flew towards our position and we scrambled to avoid the aerial condiments and close in on Chris at the same time. We got him, and before you could say 'look at the mess you made!' we were all three a complete mess, giggling madly and wrestling for control of the near empty ketchup and mustard containers.

When we finally stopped to catch our breath, our clothes were ruined and we were covered in condiment shit. We decided to call a truce and get cleaned up. I went in the shower first, and wouldn't you know Chris wasn't done. I heard the second bathroom's toilet flush a second before the ice cold water flew from the showerhead. Jesus, that was cold, that asshole! I finished quickly and then Kyle got in. I filled a pot with water after he got out and Chris headed for the bathroom, having locked the second one so I couldn't do an instant replay. I emptied the ice trays into the pot of cold water he assumed I was going to cook with and snuck into the bathroom. Steam poured from the stall and I stood on top of the toilet seat and poured the pot over the top!

"Ahh! You asshole, that's fuckin' cold!"

I ran from the bathroom and began to cook, satisfied that we were either even or the ball was in his court. Kyle had started the washer as soon as Chris was done and was telling me Sheila had gotten a traffic ticket the other day. I was trying to hide my look of shock, but he must've seen it cause he gave me a big grin.

"Would you believe she couldn’t understand why she got a ticket?" He smiled ruefully.

After Kyle went home I crashed in my room, I was pretty tired and I turned on the CD player, one of my napster discs, and Long Day by Matchbox 20 came on. It had been a long day, but it was a good day too, unlike the day in the song. I was drifting comfortably into taking a nap mode when my ears picked up a rapping at the window. I looked over lazily and saw Grant peering through the window at me. I groaned inwardly as I knew I was about to be drawn deeper into the rift growing between he and Cris. I sighed and got off the bed to crank the window open for Grant. He hoisted himself in and slid through the open window.

"Hi." He said with a shy grin as he stood and straightened himself.

"Hey." I said as I flopped back on the bed and propped my head with my hand, "What's up?"

"Ah, well not too much I guess. Um, I was just wondering if we could talk?" He asked shyly in that manner of his that made him so desirable.

"Sure dude, what shall we elucidate on?" I asked with a grin.

He crossed the room and sat down on the end of the bed, and I slid myself into a sitting position with my back up against the headboard. He looked at his hands for a minute before he gathered himself to speak.

"I wanted to talk to you about this cause of a couple of reasons. One cause we have talked before about...stuff. Plus, lately, it seems like everyone but you are looking at me like I'm a piece of meat. It's like since I got some nice clothes so many people want to talk to me and be buds and now girls think I'm cute all of a sudden."

"Well, you do clean up nice." I said with a grin.

He smiled easily, "Thank you. It's true that I do take more pride in how I look, but I'm really still the same guy inside."

"I know that's why we like you. You one of the most real people I know. The way you dress and do your hair and stuff just augments what was already there." We sat in silence for a minute before I spoke unsure of myself, "Is that what you wanted to talk about?"

"No, not really. Kind of, but that's not the whole thing." He sighed and then continued slowly.

"Cris is really in love, and I like him to be happy. No I really need for him to be happy, he has been such a good friend to me for as long as I can remember, before anyone else would be. He never made an issue of the things I didn't have, the material things. He's true blue, you know?"

I nodded in assent.

"But this dating thing is all new and, well I am afraid I'm hurting him and driving him away all at once. See, I love Cris with all my heart; every fiber beats for him but...I really am not sure about being attracted to him. I know it means so much to him, and I feel awful because I feel like I owe him for all he's done. But am I being worse because that feeling just isn't there? Shouldn't I just be honest, I mean that would be less painful in the long run wouldn't it?"

Oh boy.

"Grant, ah. How do you feel when you guys are together?"

" I feel great, he makes me feel like I'm the center of the universe. No one else matters or is remotely important if were together." He replied simply.

"Ok, and have you guys...messed around at all?" I asked, trying to be delicate.

"We have, um, kissed and stuff like that. Nothing more than that and a cheap feel or two." He said, blushing a bit.

"And how do you feel when you have this contact, and how do you feel about the contact?" I asked.

"Well, that's where it gets complicated. I like the feeling, and I feel almost ok cause I know its Cris and he'd never hurt me for anything. But at the same time, I don't know. With all these people paying me all this attention sometimes I think about them and I wonder." He looked down at his hands, "I know it's all superficial. Cris loves me for who I am, for whatever it is he sees inside me that only he sees whether I'm in K-Mart specials or all this new stuff from all these stores that I could never go into before."

"I'm a little confused, " I began, "You came out at the town meeting as being gay, do you feel differently now?"

"I don't know that's part of the problem. No one ever paid me any attention before, and I do love Cris. But with so many people showing me new sides of themselves...I start thinking maybe I feel things for them too. But I don't want to hurt Cris, Justin. That's why I can't talk to him about this and I think he feels something is wrong, I can't hide anything from him." He swallowed hard and finished quietly, "I'd rather die than hurt him, Just."

Oh man, this is at least as bad as I feared, but it's kind of what I just went through with Casey too about my feelings towards Grant. But should I tell that story? Would it do more harm than good to know I looked at him like so many others? I think I'll back up ten and punt.

"Grant, um, as far as how you look and stuff I think your forgetting that the physical changes are the stuff people notice right away. And even though your the same guy inside as far as your a good person, strong heart and a kind soul, you have changed most inside where only people that have known you a while can see the difference."

"What difference?" He asked honestly.

"Well, for one thing, would we be having this conversation two months ago? Leaving out the group home rules I mean. Probably not, because you didn't talk to too many people. I never knew you were such a deep guy until you opened up to us, and you have done that a lot. You joke with us, it's like you were born all over again or something and you have shown us all these great things about yourself. But you have, like, so little experience a maybe that's a problem. Like with Cris, a relationship takes a lot of work and part of that is communication." I hesitated because I hate giving advice. They say it's free but it's not really because if you give good advise then they come back for more, and if your wrong they might not come back at all.

"I think you really need to tell Cris what you feel. He loves you, your right about that, and you'll work it out." I smiled.

Grant sat looking at me and I began to grow uncomfortable under his gaze.

"You know something? You've changes our lives in this little backwater town. All of us, and what's more you did it for the better. Thanks, Justin." He said and moved to my end of the bed and embraced me. I'll be honest, it felt great.

The CD was playing through 'Black and White People', another Matchbox 20 tune and it seemed especially relevant in two ways, once for Grant and Cris, and once for myself and Grant.

And if it's just that you're weak, can we talk about it?

It's getting so damn creepy just nursing this ghost of a chance

The fiction, the romance and the Technicolor dreams

Of black and white people

So rarely things were black and white, always shades of gray if you ask me. Of course the truth of a situation and the truth that can be observed from another point of view can be wildly different.

Cris walked unhurriedly down the sidewalk, humming to himself. He was worried about the situation with Grant; things just weren't going the right way. Not that things were necessarily bad, but something wasn't right. He thought that talking to someone would help, and he was sure that was what he needed to do. He had tried to talk to Grant, but he just seemed to not be there these days. They had made some progress; Grant was a great kisser, although Cris was biased admittedly. Lately Grant had really come out of his shell and folks at school were noticing him a lot more than they ever had. He hoped he wasn't pushing him too hard, but that's what this trip was about, Justin and Casey seemed perfect together so he'd ask Justin what he thought. He approached the side of the house and lifted his hand to rap on the window and stopped dead.

Cris couldn't believe his eyes. He had stood by Grant through so much and he knew something was wrong, but this? How could this be happening? Didn't Grant realize how much Cris loved him; couldn't he hear his heart breaking even now as he watched through Justin's window to see the boy he loved wrapped intimately around someone he thought of as a friend? Cris turned and walked away, unable to deal and having no safe target to strike out against he resorted to the Cris of old, and pulled every feeling inside and placed it in a small shelf in his mind. He tried that anyway, but this time it failed. He had opened his heart to Grant and the stabbing pain was unmerciful. How could they do that to him?

His heart flew into a trip hammer beat and the tears started to flow freely. H shook himself and pulled together for the block and a half to reach Kyle's house. He rang the bell unthinkingly and was relieved that Kyle answered the door.

"Cris, what's wrong?" He asked voice full of concern. Cris walked past and sat heavily on the couch whereupon he lost all control of his emotions and let his heart bleed and his eyes tried to wash away the impurities of the pain in his soul. Kyle sat down next to him, a fact he was dimly aware of. Sheila emerged from the kitchen and crossed the room to Cris.

"What's wrong?" she asked him in a no nonsense tone.

Cris could only give into his breaking heart's demands; he sobbed uncontrollably as each detail hit home. He had taken a horrible risk in just sharing his love with Grant, he had given him his heart and what good was it to give away your heart, all you had, if it had no place to go and be safe and wanted? He had done everything in his power to persuade others to help his secret love, and now? He had not expected to gain his romantic love at any time; it wasn't even a matter of feeling like he was owed. No, he was owed enough to be treated with respect and be told Grant wasn’t interested rather than being cheated on and finding out by accident. And to think he was going to talk about the problem's he was having with Grant to Justin, in the hopes Justin would talk to Grant for him! They had obviously talked already, and once again he started spiraling down into sadness and was overcome with the reality of the situation that his body took matters into it's own hands and shut down, putting Cris to a merciful, if fitful sleep.

Kyle was worried to say the least, and his first thought was to call Grant, but he wasn't home. He was sure they must have broken up, especially the way Cris was looking right about now. Cris was seriously in love; this wasn't going to be easy. As he contemplated what to do there was another knock at the door, and Chris let himself in.

"Hey, what's up man? Want to go shoot some hoops?" Chris asked before spotting Cris on the couch in his disheveled appearance. "What happened to him?"

"I think he and Grant broke up, I was going to wake him up." Kyle replied solemnly.

"Maybe you should let him sleep? He's obviously upset, the rest might do him good." Sheila said.

Kyle considered this but was spared making a decision as Cris stirred on the couch and opened his red-rimmed eyes. Sadness shone through his face like a shroud.

"Cris, are you okay?"

He shook his head no. He took several steady, calming breaths before speaking, and as he did it came out haltingly. He looked directly at Kyle as he spoke.

"You... You remember me saying Grant and I were having some... Trouble communicating?" Kyle nodded. "Well, I knew something was wrong." A stray tear raced from his left eye and he wiped it away quickly with the palm of his hand.

"I have been thinking a lot about things between us, I was thinking maybe I pushed him too fast, maybe he had too much going on, maybe he was doing it out of gratitude or ... or sympathy.

So I went to talk to Justin about it, I thought maybe he could help. Talk to Grant for me. But when I got to the window, I saw that they were already talking, and they were holding each other. Justin stole him away from me!" He burst out in tears again and Sheila encircled him in a comforting embrace.

Kyle and Chris looked at one another in amazement at the news. Could it be possible? Could Justin do something like that?

The more Cris thought the angrier and hurt he got, the more betrayed he felt the more he wanted to strike back and even the score. He left Kyle's house with promises to call later on, and from there he decided that there was one other person who needed to know, who might want to have some say in this.

I was lying in bed after Grant had left and feeling pretty good about things I guess. Besides Casey being in trouble things were pretty good, Grant had figured out a huge issue and that was that he needed to communicate with Cris and just about anyone else that was important to him. So when the phone rang I just knew it was Case, it had to be! Things were just rolling along.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hi."

"Hey, Case. What's up?"

"Nothing. What did you do today?"

"Went with Kyle for most of the day out on the reservoir with his dad's canoe, got into a condiment war with Chris. Oh, and Grant came over."

Case grunted, "What did he want?"

"Well, I guess he and Cris are having some trouble."

"Did you fuck him?"

"No, we...What did you say?" I asked incredulously.

"I said, did you FUCK him." Casey said with barely restrained fury.

"Case, what are you talking about? He wanted to talk, what the hell is this?" I said getting angry myself.

"I said you weren't dead, but I guess you thought that meant you could just do whatever you want huh? Did you ever think about me? It isn't fair, Justin, what you've done." Case sobbed loudly, "I can't believe you did this. Don't you know I loved you? Wasn't I good enough for you?"

"Case, we talked! That's it, why would I go after him? Of course I know you love me, I love you too..."

"Don't tell me that! How can you cheat and then tell me you love me?" Casey screamed into the phone, "You told me you wanted him, did you forget? Was that a warning that you were going to cheat on me?"

"But we didn't do..."

"Cris saw you through your window, he saw you holding him you lying bastard!" The phone slammed down in the cradle.

I was stunned. Cris saw us hug? Oh my god, he must think that was just the beginning. I have no proof, what can I do? I dialed Casey's number right back and got a busy signal. Damn, he took the phone off the hook. Damn! I was honest enough to tell him what I was feeling and now he's using it against me! So much for being honest with him. It seems it really is true that trust takes a lifetime to build, and just suspicion to tear it all down. I leaned back on the bed and felt the first tears start to fall. Damn, my heart was going to break again.

Chris dragged his feet on his way back home, toes making trails in the dust. How weird was this? He was sure Justin hadn't done anything, would never do anything like that. Even so he had to admit it didn't look very good. He just hoped cooler heads prevailed and no one did anything stupid. That idea was blown away when he walked into Justin's room a few minutes later and saw the red-rimmed eyes and nose that was red from the rubbing of tissue across the skin. Chris decided not to play dumb or to patronize his friend.

He looked at Justin and, call it weird, but he knew he didn’t do it just from looking at him, he was miserable yes, but he was angry as well under the hurt, that much was plain and no one could read Justin Corcoran better than Chris Taylor. He went and sat on the edge of the bed and looked at his friend.

“Want to talk about it?” He asked.

“I don’t know what to say, it’s all been so stupid. I guess you know already, since you not asking me what’s wrong?”

Chris nodded.

“Jesus, word moves fast. Well, have you judged me yet?” Justin asked. Chris winced at the tone of voice, but he guessed the fire had to burn out somewhere.

“Sorry, I am just so angry and hurt, Chris, it’s not fair. I admit I think Grant’s hot, I even discussed it with Casey, and I was honest damnit! And we went through the whole thing and it was ok. Now Grant shows up cause he and Cris are having trouble and he wants to talk to me, so I talked to him. He hugged me. He left. But does anyone else believe that? No! My boyfriend thinks I screwed Grant, Cris thinks I screwed Grant, I have been convicted and I’m still a virgin! If I am going to lose my boyfriend I think I should have at least gotten a blowjob!” He ranted until he seemed to realize what he was saying and sat down heavily on the bed.

“He broke up with me, Chris. He hates me, and I still love him so much.”

The phone rang and Chris went to answer it. Justin watched hopefully from the bedroom door, but Chris waved him off.

“Hi mom. How are you?” Chris asked cautiously.

“I’m ok, Chris. How are you holding up?”

“I’m ok.”

“Chris. Son, I’m sorry for the things I said. Even though your father had so many faults, we were very much in love once. He wasn’t always like that and I have held onto that memory, maybe too long now. But you didn’t have to pay for it, I am so sorry.” She began to sob.

“Mom, no, it’s ok. Please don’t cry, it’s ok.” Chris could feel himself tearing up.

“No, I need to say this. You did nothing wrong, baby. You did what every mother should be proud of their child for doing and I’m sorry I wasn’t myself, I’m sorry I wasn’t your mother when you needed me to be.”

“Mom…Mommy please stop.” Chris sobbed.

“Chris, the hospital called. Your father dies tonight.” She said softly.

“Oh god, oh no, why did this have to happen? Oh god. Are you ok mom?” Chris asked through his great heaving sobs.

“I’m ok, sweetie. I called and made reservations; we’ll be there in a few days for the funeral. So I’ll see you soon, ok? I love you honey.”

“I love you too mom.” Chris said as he hung up the phone and felt Justin wrap his strong arms around him, his friend there by his side once again.

I was so sad for Chris I totally forgot about my problems as I held him and rocked him until he finally fell asleep in my arms. The next few days were hectic to say the least; I called Casey about four times and finally got his mom. She was kind of frosty with me, but I told her it was for Chris’s dad’s funeral and she softened up and finally put him on the phone.

“Hello?” He asked in a very surly, but II have to admit, hopeful voice. Did he miss me?

“Hi Case. Um, look I know you’re pissed at me, but Chris’s dad died. I was trying to call you cause I thought you might want to go to the funeral for Chris.”

“He…He died. I see, wow. Um, how’s Chris taking it?”

“He’s pretty upset. Look, if you want to hate me and not talk about this that’s between you and me, but Chris is still your friend and I hope you’ll go. For him.” I said evenly.

“Yeah, I’ll go. For both of you.” He said.

I softened. “Case, nothing happened, I swear. I was honest enough to tell you I was attracted, and I don’t want this to end.”

“Maybe we should talk somewhere, you know, after.”

“I love you Casey” I said and hung up the phone.

Chris’s mom and sisters arrived and there was a pretty good round of hugs and tears. They would stay with us for six days, and I wasn’t sure I could survive the twins that long! Chris’s spirits seemed a bit better with his mom around, and I guess I wasn’t too surprised to find he would be going back with his mom at the end of the school year. With Paul gone the danger was past, and I’d be separated from him again. You know it’s funny; love has many facets, many different faces. My love for Chris and Kyle was very different from my love for Casey. I think I love Grant too, but that has changes as well, and it’s not love like I have for Casey. In more ways than one I was losing something of myself to know he was leaving, that he would be such a great distance away from me. That he would not be accessible, and though we still had time together it made me sad. As much as Casey filled a void in my soul, Chris filled yet another.

I know there’s folks out there who think I’m pretty dense, well, ok just about everyone! But I think it’s more than imagination that Mrs. Taylor and my Dad are making eyes at each other. It suddenly dawned on me that she wasn’t wearing her usual garb, you know, muu muu and such and that it seemed as though she’d lost weight. Coincidence? I think not.

The third day they were here was the day of the funeral. It was small, but all my, actually, all our friends were there to support Chris. Ashley showed up with Geena, which was a surprise of sorts cause we had found out Ashley has diabetes and had been a little sick lately. Bu there he was, big as life. And Geena, holy cow that chick could dress! One by one they filed into the church, and I was a bit surprised Casey sat next to me. Grant showed up and sat to one side of me, Cris at the other end of the pew. Apparently no movement there. Casey sat a few rows behind me, so I couldn’t se him well. My heart was aching for him as well as for Chris.

The pastor kept the sermon short and we were adjourned to the cemetery in short order. After the pastor had said the his final words Chris stepped up to the front of the crowd, rose in hand to drop on the casket, and he spoke loudly to the crowd of support that had turned out for him.

“It would be easy to think my father was an awful man, god knows I have reasons to hate him. Many of you have reason to hate him for the way his life was lived at the end. But I will remember my father, as he was when I was younger, before life wore him down and he became bitter. You see, he wasn’t always like this. Once he was a good father who came to watch me at little league and pop Warner football games. Once he loved me, and my family. So I will choose to remember him that way.” His voice slowly dropped and he walked to the edge of the casket and began to sing in a clear, melodious baritone as he laid the flower on the casket.

“In the arms of The Angel/Fly away from here

From this dark, cold Hotel Room/And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage/of your silent Reverie,
You’re in the Arms of The Angel/May you find some comfort here

We filed by, tear streaked faces and said goodbye to a man who had lost his way. I walked towards Cris and he wasn’t quite fast enough to turn away from me. I caught his sleeve and simply held him in place as he tried to leave.

“Leave me alone.” He said sullenly.

“Cris, just listen for a sec. We were friends, and I’m begging you, for that, just listen.” I released his sleeve. He didn’t answer but he didn’t try to leave either.

“Cris, you’re a good and loyal friend and I wouldn’t do something to hurt you. I know you and Grant were having trouble, that’s why he came over. To talk, and we did talk. And he was grateful, and he gave me a hug. I won’t lie, it felt good, he’s a good guy and he loves you. But there was nothing else. I swear.”

Cris eyed me and looked at Grant who was last in line to file past the casket. Tears stood in his eyes and he tried to blink them away as he tried to speak.

“You… You guys didn’t do anything?” He asked, voice laden with desperate hope.

“Just talk, Cris. He’s very confused and the last thing he wants to do is hurt you, Cris.”

“What is he confused about?” Cris asked.

“That’s for you guys to talk about, communication you know?”

Grant was watching us as he walked form the casket and hesitated only a moment before approaching us.

“Hi.” He said shyly.

“Hi, um, can we go somewhere and talk?” Cris asked. Grant gave him a small smile and they walked off together. How do you like that? They didn’t even say goodbye! I smiled as they walked away and silently wished them the best.

I walked towards the cars and saw that many had left, but my dad was waiting for me. We rode in silence to the house where food was set up and people milled around. Most left early and finally the house was empty. I went into Chris’s room and sat on his bed, looking at all the stuff that made up who he was, his posters, his playboys under the mattress, and the pictures on his nightstand. There were two, one of his family along time ago, mom and dad behind the three small, smiling children. The other was of he and I when we were about nine at the public pool. We had one towel stretched around us both and we were mugging for the camera. I smiled as I remembered the day, so warm when there were no clouds to be seen. Even then we were the best of friends, and now? Family I think. No, I know he’s family. He came stumbling into his room to find me there looking at the picture.

“That was a good day, huh?” He asked as he plopped on the bed next to me.

“Yeah, the best.” I agreed.

“Looks lie my family is sticking here for another week. I think our ‘rents have the hots for each other.” He smiled, but in that ‘oh yuck’ kind of way.

“Eww. You men we might actually end up related?” I asked in mock horror.

“Yeah, we can’t have sex if were brothers you know.” He grinned.

“That would be way too weird!” We laughed.

We talked for a little while longer, and then I headed for bed. I sat down to read, with the window slightly ajar to allow a cool breeze to run through the room for a few minutes. Not long you understand, the desert gets awful cold at night and the wind can really whip stuff up. I stretched on my bed and reflected. I wonder if my dad will hook up with Chris’s mom? I could take living with Chris, but his sisters? Oh Christ! Well, you took the good with the bad I guess.

I was drifting a bit when I heard a voice singing, it was Casey! I knew it. I leapt from my bed and to the window, cranking it all the way open.

“Casey!” I whispered fiercely, “Get over here!”

He came out of the shadows singing softly as he did.

“Some day out of the blue In a crowded street or a deserted square
I’ll turn and I'll see you/As if our love were new
Some day we can start again, some day soon”

“I want to start now, Case.” I said plainly. He came in through the window, and, well breaking up is hard to do, but the making up? That is sweet. And I found out it doesn’t hurt that much.